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Vegetarian on Thanksgiving Day? with update

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:29 AM
  • 27 Replies

I need advice on what to say to a family member relating to the below. 

Every Thanksgiving day she drops off her kids at her ex'es house.  The kids are preached at by their father, as to why they are having a vegetarian Thanksgiving.  See her ex has become a vegetarian fanatic and he instills fear on the kids as to the dangers of meat.  My cousin tries to tell her kids that daddy is over exaggerating to dangers of eating meat. 

It has gotten to the point that Thanksgiving is ruined in our family over arguments of eating meat.

 

UPDATE:  NO ONE IS MAKING DAD CHANGE HIS HABIT EATING VEGAN.  THE ISSUE IS DAD IS INSTILLING THE FEAR INTO THE KIDS BY GOING VEGAN, BECAUSE HE IS SAYING THE MEAT IS A HIGHLY DANGEROUS THING TO EAT.

HE WANTS TO TAKE THE KIDS TO A SLAUGHTER HOUSE TO SHOW THE KIDS THE BAD THINGS GOING ON THERE.  (E.G. A cow is preggo and the slaughter employees kill that cow with the in-bred calf inside mother cow. 

(PARDON THE CAPS - Not shouting at anyone in particular.  Just getting a point across.  DAD  preaching to the kids on a constant basis.)

by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sheramom4
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:36 AM
3 moms liked this

I would break it down for them and him. And I am not one to argue with my ex. For him: you are welcome to feed the children a vegetarian diet. I will not and I do not expect you to use fear to get the children to adhere to your beliefs. If necessary I will pursue actions that will prevent you from making the kids fearful. We are co-parenting. We will not always agree but we should do our best to meet in the middle and not use our choices to upset the kids or create chaos. 

For the kids: Dad is entitled to his beliefs. I am entitled to mine. You are entitled to your beliefs. If you choose a vegetarian diet that is great but I want you to understand that until I am certain you are making this choice for yourself, I will not be making a separate meal. I will have plenty of sides available for you. I do not expect ANY complaints about the food being served and if you create a scene about what is served you will be asked to leave the table. I love you and I understand that you want to listen to your dad but the expectation is that you will sit at the table politely and be considerate of others. 

Of course for the kids it has to be age appropriate. My kids are older so I would address it this way. I would be livid at dad for using false information to create drama. And I would look into how it could be resolved. 

amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:59 AM
Why not just let them not eat meat on thanksgiving? Aren't there plenty of non meat items for them to eat?
Lorelai_Nicole
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:48 AM
I think you just totally missed the point...

Quoting amantonacci: Why not just let them not eat meat on thanksgiving? Aren't there plenty of non meat items for them to eat?
ame4c
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:21 AM
1 mom liked this
We are hillbilly redneck country folk here. Chances are we have shot, cleaned and cooked our dinner. A vegan would not survive in my family. We believe God put animals on this earth to nourish our bodies and he made us omnivores so we could eat meat and vegetables. If you look at healthy diets today they have us eating mostly protein and fewer carbs. Plant protein is mostly soy and soy increases your estrogen levels. This is not good for growing developing kids (or adults unless your going thru menopause).

I think if you keep your kids informed with the positives of meat they will eventually chose for themselves. I bet its a phase they are going through because they want to be more like their dad. Arm yourself with some facts and turn the argument into a discussion. If you Dont let them get under your skin it will stop eventually.
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 7:05 AM
2 moms liked this

I think the vegetarian lifestyle needs to be respected, not try to be changed by well meaning meat eaters. It's like trying to get an atheist or agnostic to go to church by a well meaning christian. It's not cool.

DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't eat Turkey. I also don't eat stuffing, yams, cranberries, green beans, or pumpkin pie.

Somehow this has never ruined anyone's Thanksgiving. Often, there are enough other options that I am able to eat something. If not, I've learned to plan ahead and bring an unobtrusive small meal for myself, or an alternative dish I can share, depending on the situation.

I'm not vegetarian, merely a combination of picky and allergic, but I have many vegetarian friends and they tend to follow a similar pattern.

No one's holiday is ruined. The holiday might be celebrated with food, but that's not what the Holiday is about. I've had over 30 Turkeyless Thanksgivings, and still managed to enjoy the company of family or friends while counting my blessings.



Quoting amantonacci: Why not just let them not eat meat on thanksgiving? Aren't there plenty of non meat items for them to eat?
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:27 AM
Then what's the point? I read it as this family member fights with her ex through the kids because they are telling her they aren't going to eat the meat. Is that not what is being said here?

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: I think you just totally missed the point...

Quoting amantonacci: Why not just let them not eat meat on thanksgiving? Aren't there plenty of non meat items for them to eat?
Lorelai_Nicole
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 9:59 AM
The point I got from it is that the father is using fear to push vegetarianism on his kids at Thanksgiving. Telling them that eating meat is dangerous, etc.

Quoting amantonacci: Then what's the point? I read it as this family member fights with her ex through the kids because they are telling her they aren't going to eat the meat. Is that not what is being said here?

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: I think you just totally missed the point...

Quoting amantonacci: Why not just let them not eat meat on thanksgiving? Aren't there plenty of non meat items for them to eat?
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:02 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't get the point here...

Why is there conflict at OPs table if the meat conflicted kids are not there?

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: The point I got from it is that the father is using fear to push vegetarianism on his kids at Thanksgiving. Telling them that eating meat is dangerous, etc.
Quoting amantonacci: Then what's the point? I read it as this family member fights with her ex through the kids because they are telling her they aren't going to eat the meat. Is that not what is being said here?
Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: I think you just totally missed the point...
Quoting amantonacci: Why not just let them not eat meat on thanksgiving? Aren't there plenty of non meat items for them to eat?


tiafez
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:07 AM

I would research a little, sit down with the kids and explain that vegetarian is a choice. Their Dad chooses it and their Mom doesn't. Like anything, they can make that choice but while at Dad's he does not serve meat so they can respect that and eat what is given. At Mom's theymay chooese to eat meat or not but if they choose not to they need to respect the other home members choices if they do eat meat. if kids are unsure, make one meal a week meatless. Teach them other choices, let them help plan it. There can be a healthy balance. 


We are carnivores and damn happy with it but we skip meat once a week just to keep our pipes from over clogging.  My son started the habit when he was keeping weight for wrestling.  


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