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He up and left me- Feel so broken

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:31 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi-  My now ex S/O and I were together two years plus a month.  He has a 6 year old son and 19 year old daughter.  Both of the childrens mothers are/were meth addicts.  Anyway, S/O was custodial to the 6 year old. The little guy and I had a very strong bond.  To have him just ripped out of my life and me being ripped out of his life is killing me.  It seriously feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.  The S/O wanted me to "replace" the mother of the little one.  I knew I couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't do that.  I never did.  When ever the little one wanted some love or hugs from his father, he's be moved out of the way and told, "get off me" or "stop bothering me".  WHO DOES THAT? Especially to your own child.  I honestly feel like he sees his son as a burden.  Before me, there was another woman he had move in with him right away.  She left him after 3 months.  What he's doing to his child is so detrimental.  x- S/O says he needs to " work on upkeeping his house, and to take care of himself"  I think his son has ADD/ADHD and won't get him looked at/diagnosed.  I gave this little guy and his dad 110%  of my time and love. 

 I guess what all this rambling is about, I won't date a guy with a child/children again.  I can't be hurt like this again or have children/ a child hurt because of his parent's decisions. 

by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:31 PM
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Replies (1-7):
owl0210
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Try not to shed too many tears over this asshole. He did you a favor by up and leaving you because now you won't have to deal with him. The only victim here is his son.
Boobear110
by Audra on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry for your pain . 

oranguglad
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Break ups are never easy. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. He's the asshole.

DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:58 PM
I have been there. It really sucks. You love someone and so you think you can fix their flaws, and then you love their children (possibly more than they themselves do) and then you lose your relationship and have to worry about the child all at the same time. It crushed me, utterly and totally. To make matters worse I had a child with him also who then lost a sibling.

I've never totally recovered, but time does ease the pain of all wounds. I haven't ruled out dating men with kids, but I know I'd have to be very careful about it. I'll never again be a SM that is truly all in for the kid because I don't think I could go through that kind of soul crushing pain again.
tiafez
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this

not all men are like that. don't close your heart, just give yourself time to heal. I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. 

cdrainey3
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 5:04 PM
1 mom liked this
I dated a guy with 3 kids before I married my dh and when we broke up it did hurt. I think I liked his kids more than him. They were my little friends, we had fun together. Missing them was just part of the break up. It hurt and I felt so bad (I was the one that broke it off) but I just knew it was for the best.

Hang in there!
soonergirl980
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

sounds like you dodged a bullet.

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