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New baby😳

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 12:26 AM
  • 56 Replies
Hi I've been a stepmom for the last 7trs and even though the biological mom goes back and forth with accepting that I'm still here! Now we have a new baby almost 4months and big brother wants nothing to do with him. HELP!!! It breaks my heart Amd even though I take time with my stepson each day just us and include him on everything he still doesn't care. I feel like if he had a sibling that came from his moms side he'd be different
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 12:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:31 AM

How old is your SS?

codysara
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:09 AM
4 months for a boy is not good bonding time.. it might get better.
jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I am a BM, I'm not a SM. I have 2 boys 4.5 years apart.They don't really get along, never have. They weren't happy when either sister (from BF/SM) was born and honestly, it's only recently that ODS16 has actually enjoyed being around the older girl, now that she's 7 and can carry on a conversation. YDS12 isn't there yet with either sister.

If you're SS isn't mean to the baby is let it go. You can't force a relationship and really, 4 month olds are really boring to a kid much of the time.
Kassir
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:11 AM
1 mom liked this
My step son is 8 he doesn't really know a life with out me in it but he knows I'm not his bio mom. She's no help either. Never has gotten over the jealousy of me being around. I'm scared he'll never get close to him because of how she acts about us having a new baby. I'm praying once our new baby gets older and can actually play things will change
Kassir
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:15 AM
When I was pregnant and even when he was first born my son (stepson) was all about being a big bro something recently has changed and I'm not sure what. My relationship with his mom has always been back and forth and she's very manipulative a lot of lies and drama. She still Wil refer to my step son as just gets when he's around but tell me on her good days that she glad he has two moms and I'm a good parent so I'm thinking she's said something but I can't ask him with out it being weird and honestly if she has said something I don't want to bring it back up with him he's just a little kid.
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:49 AM
Are you sure you haven't changed in some way since you became a Mom? Try to spend more one on one time with SS and talk to him about him, make it about him and see if you get any feedback. I suspect the older child may need some reassurances once a baby comes around because babies know how to get all the attention.
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whatIknownow
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 7:13 AM

I don't know too many 8yo's who are interested in babies. Why is this an issue to you?

How often is your SS at your house?

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 7:16 AM
He is 8. 4 month olds are boring. They dont *do* anything. I think you are reading too much into it. Give it time. As long as he is not trying to harm the baby then I really think he's acting perfectly normal. Just keep on mind that 8 years is a big age gap and they may never develop a super close sibling relationship as kids. But that has more to do with their ages than you being SM.
soonergirl980
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 7:19 AM

It's more likely they will never be close due to age rather than his mother. I have a siblings that I much older than (8-10 year) and I am not close to them. I love them, but we don't have that bond because just as they got old enough to be "interesting" to me I was moving on with my own life. He's 8 babies just aren't that high on his radar. It will probably get better but I wouldn't hold out hope for the sibling bond you may want from them.

whatIknownow
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 7:34 AM

The connection SS has to the baby is through his father. What has the father done to encourage his older son to be interested in the baby? Has he taken the two of them out together for example?

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