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Need some advice please

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:33 PM
  • 8 Replies
Okay my stepson who is 9 years old went to his mother's over Christmas break and told her and her bf that I pit hand santizer on his brothers (who is 6 years old) mouth because his brother was licking too much and then put the blistex on him and his brother cried because he said it burned. Then the boyfriend apparently blew up about it. Ok now here's what really happened and went on... the 6 yr old does have a licking issue. He came home from school one day and he had chaped the his mouth to the point that it was bright red and irriatated. So I cleaned my hands with hand santizer and put a little of the cream blistex on my finger and put it all over where he had licked and chaped. He said it burned and as we all know that stuff does burn a bit but it's what works the best for what he does. So my issue is his mother's boyfriend is like a God to my oldest SS and I guess when he was telling the story the 6 year old was like you're lying Nathan she didn't do that but the boyfriend was so blowing up about it that he was like she did do it I kbow it! So the oldest seems insistent that I did when my husband asked him about it. Cause the boys mother texted my husband and asked if any of this story was true. Which she should and she seemed fo be understanding that some things he says you have to take with a grain of salt but this really hurts me bc not only is he twisting the story but he seems to actually believe it and thinks I would do something to hurt them!! Now to give you some background these boys live with us full time I have been raising them since the oldest was four and the his brother was just 18 months old. We are a blended family my husband and I have a four year old and a two year old together. We are raising 4 boys and we are a loud crazy house hold lol! I do my best with the older 2 and I try my hardest not to let things like this get to me but man I get beat up a lot from their mother and boyfriend! They talk down about me more to those boys and this last trip there the oldest has treated me differently since come back home. So I am just on edge with it and so is he and we are clashing a lot on so many things... anyone else have issues like or similar to this? Thoughts and advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks Rachel
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:33 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Mimto2
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:45 PM
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i think mom and dad handled it correctly. The only grown up seemingly behaving like an ass is mom's BF. Frankly, it's none of his business. Don't worry about him.
I wouldn't even bother engaging with him. Let your husband deal with his x.

You are raising these boys. I would sit them both down and discuss it. Let the boys know that you are concerned about their perception of the event. Let them tell you, without reprisal, what they thought truly occurred, and then tell them what really happened and that you are sorry they didn't understand.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:58 PM
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I wouldn't worry.

It sounds like the older boy was describing what happened and BM's boyfriend didn't understand the situation correctly and flipped out making the older boy think that was the situation.

BM and BD handled the situation perfectly. I wouldn't worry about it at this point. It was handled. I wouldn't automatically assume that the older boy was lying intentionally or out of malice. 

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 4:23 AM
3 moms liked this
Doesn't really matter what the boyfriend says. BM asked, DH told her and it sounds like she dropped it. Stop worrying about it.
kellynh
by Kelly on Jan. 7, 2015 at 7:23 AM

This, exactly. 

Quoting WifeyC: Doesn't really matter what the boyfriend says. BM asked, DH told her and it sounds like she dropped it. Stop worrying about it.


MrsStevens232
by on Jan. 7, 2015 at 7:34 AM
Thank you for your advice it really made me feel better! I will talk with the boys today after school!
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this
1. You do not have to communicate or deal w BM or her boy toy in any way. Block them and tell your DH to handle them.

2. DH does not have to explain shit to BM's boy toy. My SO would be inclined to tell him to go fuck himself and shut the fuck up to be quite honest.

3. Don't let them bother you. If they were so concerned that you don't raise them right maybe BM could get her shit together and raise her own damn kids.
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Kids tend to twist stuff around sometimes or maybe, BM and her bf didn't fully understand what oss was saying so she asked your DH about it. Anyway her bf is irrelevant but it sounds like BM got the correct info from your DH and decided to drop it.
MrsStevens232
by on Jan. 7, 2015 at 12:56 PM
You are right! She lost custody of her kids because of this bf he has her mind so twisted and now doing it to her kids. It's sad and sick!
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