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summer custody time

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:03 AM
  • 8 Replies
We are going back to court to change the court order. sd is 3 and it's been 50/50 since she was 6 months old. bm just moved 2 hours away so things will have to change since everyone agreed on pre k in the fall. bm isn't a bad mom per say she's neglectful though. she is more worried about guys and her 12 yr old raises sd and the 2 & 10 month old there. house is filthy and bm hasn't taken her time near 50/50 since July 2013. Anyway...we are offering weekends that start on the 2nd 4th 5th Fridays plus holidays the same. What would be fair for summer? We've never changed during the summer so I'm not sure. For the most part bm is agreeing we are just trying to be fair with it all.
by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-8):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:09 AM
In summer maybe every other week?
Sept-babies2
by Patriot's Fan on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:12 AM
So who has SD for summer? Im a little confused. We also had SD 50/50 but now SD is here every day and 4 nights during the week at bm. Before we did summer every other week. Now summer SD is here pretty much the whole time. It's not set in stone as there isn't an order but when bm lived an hour away we still had every other week. Now why couldn't you split the summer? Right In half.. First half with dad second with mom.. Or other way around. Or do every other week. .im not really sure how it works now for you but that's what we did before bm moved 2 minutes away from us.
myluckystars11
by New Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:18 AM
Right now our situation is every other week. what we've found out is bm will rarely take her a full week. my thought for summer in the new order was make it every other week or make it 2 weeks both places. in the last 6 months she's taken her the longest 5 days at a stretch. we don't want to 'take' sd away we want to make her time there successful and I.just don't see sending her for 6 weeks straight which I really that many people did would work cause she wouldn't keep her that long.

Quoting Sept-babies2: So who has SD for summer? Im a little confused. We also had SD 50/50 but now SD is here every day and 4 nights during the week at bm. Before we did summer every other week. Now summer SD is here pretty much the whole time. It's not set in stone as there isn't an order but when bm lived an hour away we still had every other week. Now why couldn't you split the summer? Right In half.. First half with dad second with mom.. Or other way around. Or do every other week. .im not really sure how it works now for you but that's what we did before bm moved 2 minutes away from us.
PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:29 AM
I would keep it simple and go with your state standard.

Mine state is 50/50. The fall back schedule is first half and second half of the summer if parents can't agree. But they can also choose EOW or every two weeks.

Some parents switch the arrangement in the summer with the NCP having weeks and EOWE and the CP having EOWE.

In my situation I actually agreed to the NCP having 2/3 of the summer.... Not that he takes it, but it's available.
Ol--Akasha--lO
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:31 AM
For SS it used to be eow during the summer. BM decided she couldn't be away from her baby that long. Last summer it the week was split in half. Yes, it was confusing at first but after a few weeks it was great. SS was here on DHs guaranteed days off (which are weekdays not weekends). I think this summer will work out better since DH now works 3 on 4 off. He'll be home every day SS is here. Oh and both parents get one full weekend during the summer for a vacation.
Sept-babies2
by Patriot's Fan on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:42 AM
Oh I know how that is. Bm would never keep SD that long either. SD spends most her time with me. So yeah bm can leave SD here the whole summer but would never take SD for a whole week. Actually the last year bm doesn't even take SD for a whole day. So I get it. I really do so yeah I would stick with every other week then. Or two weeks.. But I know in my situation bm wouldn't take SD for 2 weeks straight.. Last time she did she said she couldn't take it and moved closer and that's when I started watching SD every day. during summer now bm barley takes SD.. Actually she only took her 2-3 nights a week.. Sometimes not at all.

Quoting myluckystars11: Right now our situation is every other week. what we've found out is bm will rarely take her a full week. my thought for summer in the new order was make it every other week or make it 2 weeks both places. in the last 6 months she's taken her the longest 5 days at a stretch. we don't want to 'take' sd away we want to make her time there successful and I.just don't see sending her for 6 weeks straight which I really that many people did would work cause she wouldn't keep her that long.

Quoting Sept-babies2: So who has SD for summer? Im a little confused. We also had SD 50/50 but now SD is here every day and 4 nights during the week at bm. Before we did summer every other week. Now summer SD is here pretty much the whole time. It's not set in stone as there isn't an order but when bm lived an hour away we still had every other week. Now why couldn't you split the summer? Right In half.. First half with dad second with mom.. Or other way around. Or do every other week. .im not really sure how it works now for you but that's what we did before bm moved 2 minutes away from us.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 11:14 AM

We used to do EOW, but BM never actually took SD the full week She took SD 4 days EOW. Now BM gets 1 week in June, 1 week in July, and 1 week in August. She also only takes 1 weekend a month during the school year.

family4ever0608
by Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 12:01 PM

 Well it really depends on the situation and how many times you are intending to have the court order changed. We had the same agreement for years. We just had to change ours because the origional wasn't fitting school age children. After 2 years in school and learning it would only get worse it was adjusted. Take into account homework, holiday's, school breaks and birthdays for your side and BM's side. Also during the summer account for those holiday's, potential vacations and any future sports your step child may want to play. If BM lives that far away she will likely not be willing to take her child to them. We gave BM every other week from thursday am to monday am if she lives close. If she doesn't DSD comes home sunday evening in time for bed. Both parties get 2 weeks of non consecutive vacation which includes initial parenting time as well. This was the best benefit and ensures if BM is going to take her time she can. Good Luck.

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