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worried about BM editted

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:22 AM
  • 24 Replies

BM has been posting things on facebook that bother me. I know she has an eating disorder. I've been told by a friend that she was doing drugs. She has had a job for a week, the 1st one since last August so I'm sure she's financially stressed still. but she's posting things like this...

"when I look in the mirror. I see a worthless, useless person."

"I need more friends..here I am alone with no one to talk to or do anything with b4 I go to work"

"have you ever thought of what your ashamed of? I wonder how many people are ashamed of me."

"do you ever wonder why we cry? what's the point?"


These are just a few. We are having lunch together on Friday. Should I ask her about it? Found out what's going on? what should I say? 

last I knew she was not going to counseling anymore and was not on any meds. 

EDIT: BM either passed out or had a seizure at work this afternoon. Not sure which a resident found her. She's a CNA at nursing home. One of my contacts at the nursing home texted me. 

oh cause you'll ask. I do the screens for the nursing home she works at. She's been there a week. 

by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:22 AM
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pusheen-kitty
by Battler on Feb. 18, 2015 at 11:09 AM
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So you guys are friends then? Do you guys regularly meet for lunch?

lots of people are drama queens on facebook. If u are truly concerned maybe talk to an outside party she listens to. But I wouldn't go that far. Unless she is expressing suicidal idealation on FB for all the world to see Its just her public pity party.
MySunshine220
by Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 11:25 AM
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First off I agree with Kitty, Pity Party! Second, it would probably be better if you did not have access to each others facebooks. Your dh only needs to know how the kids are, not what shes doing and vice versa  . Unless it has to do with her kids what you guys do is none of her business. As far as being concerned about her, there is nothing at all that you could do, if your dh agrees that this is some form of out cry for her then maybe he could speak with her about it, offer her help...Other than that (not meant to be rude at all) its best to keep your nose at your house, much less needless stress. 

weaveress
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 12:17 PM


Quoting pusheen-kitty: So you guys are friends then? Do you guys regularly meet for lunch? lots of people are drama queens on facebook. If u are truly concerned maybe talk to an outside party she listens to. But I wouldn't go that far. Unless she is expressing suicidal idealation on FB for all the world to see Its just her public pity party.

usually i think we consider each other friends.  this is the first time we've done lunch for a long time without dd(sd). she's never been like this on fb. i've had her on there for years. i think that's why i'm concerned about depression. plus i know she's dealing with the self image issue because of the eating disorder right now. dr told her if she didn't gain weight they would send her away for a while to basically forcibly make her gain weight. she's about 85lbs. she's idk 5'4 ish. 

weaveress
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 12:24 PM


Quoting MySunshine220:

First off I agree with Kitty, Pity Party! Second, it would probably be better if you did not have access to each others facebooks. Your dh only needs to know how the kids are, not what shes doing and vice versa  . Unless it has to do with her kids what you guys do is none of her business. As far as being concerned about her, there is nothing at all that you could do, if your dh agrees that this is some form of out cry for her then maybe he could speak with her about it, offer her help...Other than that (not meant to be rude at all) its best to keep your nose at your house, much less needless stress. 

we've been on each other's fb for years. we post pictures to each others accounts. tag dd(sd) in them for each other. send each other gift ideas for dd(sd) and the other kids. she actually has my dh, son, mil, sister, and mom on fb as well. we've known each other since high school. she still lives in the small town we graduated from.  dh and she don't talk to each other unless we're at an event together and most of those it's just the two of us, dh doesn't go.  they aren't unfriendly, they just don't have anything to talk about. 

we text each other whenever anything is up with dd(sd) or the family. she even texts me when she's having boyfriend issues or upset about work, etc. 

wise.toes
by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 12:42 PM
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if you consider yourselves friends, then i absolutely would mention your concern. i'd take the BM/SM situation out of it, and just be her friend.

weaveress
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 12:50 PM


Quoting wise.toes:

if you consider yourselves friends, then i absolutely would mention your concern. i'd take the BM/SM situation out of it, and just be her friend.

what do i say?

progressandjoy
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 1:50 PM
1 mom liked this

What would you say if this was a normal friend?

If I was talking to a friend, I might say - "I've noticed some of your recent Facebook posts. Is everything okay?"

Though personally, I stop following people that make Facebook posts like this. I typically think it's just melodramatic drama and they just want attention. ...

Quoting weaveress:
Quoting wise.toes:

if you consider yourselves friends, then i absolutely would mention your concern. i'd take the BM/SM situation out of it, and just be her friend.

what do i say?

 

progressandjoy
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 2:01 PM

I don't necessarily agree with this, but then again, neither BM nor I post about our personal issues on Facebook.

I do post a lot of pictures of the kids, and it's a way for BM to keep up to date with SS while he's with us. Last year, when SS was selling Boy Scout popcorn, he made a cute video asking people to buy from his online site. I posted it on Facebook, and BM was able to share it to her family and friends.

She's also shared information with me via Facebook. She's tagged me in a post about local karate lessons. It's a very informal way to share tidbits of information and keep up to date with SS's daily life.

Quoting MySunshine220:

First off I agree with Kitty, Pity Party! Second, it would probably be better if you did not have access to each others facebooks. Your dh only needs to know how the kids are, not what shes doing and vice versa  . Unless it has to do with her kids what you guys do is none of her business. As far as being concerned about her, there is nothing at all that you could do, if your dh agrees that this is some form of out cry for her then maybe he could speak with her about it, offer her help...Other than that (not meant to be rude at all) its best to keep your nose at your house, much less needless stress. 

 

WickedPissah
by 2Sexy4MyStoma on Feb. 18, 2015 at 2:22 PM
I think your sitch is so fricken weird.

All your posts are all over the map.

I think you shouldn't mention anything about her Fb posts.

You do not care about her, nor are you her friend.

If bm posted on here, I'd tell her to stay clear away from you.
weaveress
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 2:27 PM


Quoting WickedPissah: I think your sitch is so fricken weird. All your posts are all over the map. I think you shouldn't mention anything about her Fb posts. You do not care about her, nor are you her friend. If bm posted on here, I'd tell her to stay clear away from you.

the situation is weird or unique, i agree. my posts are whatever is happening at the moment so I guess that's why they are all over the map. I care for everyone. total weakness. I am a fixer, as my boss says, I try to fix people. which goes along with my career choice, social worker. 

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