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When the kids are sick and want OP ...

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 3:26 AM
  • 37 Replies

Today (I guess, technically, yesterday), has been challenging. DD, who has always been healthy as a horse, is finally sick. It has been awful.

In between each bout of vomiting, all she wanted was her momma. The few times that I asked DH to hold her, she'd cry for me. Her voice would waver and she'd call out "Momma" in a raspy bleat. It was heartbreaking.

Anyways, it made me wonder about the difference between sick children in an intact home versus separated homes.

I remember one time, right after DH and I moved in together, that SS was sick. He just laid around on the couch and hardly moved. I was sooo ready to dote on him, but nothing I could do made any difference. He just wanted his mom. DH tried to hang on for a little while - His kid. His time. He was a capable parent, who could take care of his sick child. - but, eventually, he called BM and let her pick up SS.  

I started thinking about that today, while holding DD. It didn't matter that DH was there and was capable of taking care of her; she just wanted her mom. Period. I'm so glad that DH handed her off to me without a need to prove that he could do it, too.

DH did feel a little rejected, but he put that aside to make our DD feel more comfortable.

I guess my question is, who takes care of the kids when they are sick? Do they prefer to be in one home when they are sick? If they wanted OP while they were sick, would you let them go?      

by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 3:26 AM
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by Ruby Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 3:34 AM
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I've always been designated 'sick home' but more so because BF doesn't want DDs germs being passed around his family. Nevermind if she got the germs FROM his family. I'm cool with it though because both of my kids have always turned in to mamas kids when they are sick. I always wanted mama. Hell when I've been sick as an adult, I still want my mama. Ds is a daddy's boy through and through but when he is sick or hurt, he wants his mama. When he broke his arm, he was so strong. Dh got to him first and he was holding it in, being strong. The nurse at school said he was so big and strong. He cried but he walked himself down the hall to the office (with help but on his own two feet). As soon as I walked in the door he bust in to tears and all he wanted was mama. When he woke up for surgery, I was the first one he asked for. It melts my heart but at the same time dh has had his feelings a little stung by it. However he even jokes that nothing helped him more than his mama when he was sick or hurt.

I think it's totally normal for a child to want mama. Every kid I've ever known has wanted mama. I am sure there will be lots of posts how the kids don't even ask for mom but I'm betting those are few and far between in reality. Mamas are nurturing and comforting.
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by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 3:46 AM
My dd prefers me over my exh. And my SDs prefer our house over bms. My SDs do like their daddy (dh) to take care of them and they've always let me do it too. Dh gets queezie with vomiting lol so I tend to do more if that's what the kids have.
We would let the kids go to the other house if they wanted but that hasn't happened yet.
I always wanted my mom as a kid when I was sick and my parents are still married and my dad was perfectly capable.
by Ruby Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 5:07 AM
My children want their Mom and I assume SS wants his Mom too, I wanted my Mom when I was a child too.
by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 5:55 AM
My ex is very capable of handling sickness and mior hurts. Dh is too.

However, for anything major... Or when they just want comfort and reassurance.... It's mom.
by Skeletor on Feb. 23, 2015 at 6:09 AM
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I'm 37, I still want my mom when I get horribly ill.
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 8:15 AM
DD stays home with me when she's sick. Or BD sends her home if she's there for a weekend.
While DD is welcomed at BDs, it's not her home. She doesn't have a room, she's not there very much and half the time she's with her BD they go to his moms for the weekend. So when she's sick she wants to be home and held me or DH (SF) and BD knows and is okay with it.
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 8:47 AM

OSD always wanted DH. (Now she's out on her own) but still comes over sometimes when not feeling well. the boys (teens now) are too tough for that but they used to want dad, sometimes grandma. Younger SDs want dad or me. (Just DH before I came) 

by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 10:03 AM
Right? I was gonna say the same thing! And I'm a daddy's girl BIG TIME! I go to my dad for almost everything, always have. Not when I'm sick though, I need my mom.

My ss hasn't ever been sick enough that he's asked for his mom, but if he was and wanted her DH would let him go.

Quoting LyndaLoo78: I'm 37, I still want my mom when I get horribly ill.
by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 10:15 AM

i'm custodial, and *knock on wood* luckily my children aren't prone to getting ill often. 

ds still goes to his dad's if he's sick. he's not the type of guy to negotiate around illness, which is fine. i'm more than happy letting him deal with a sick child. 

by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 10:24 AM

I think it is common for kids to want mom because mom is typically the more nurturing, pampering parent. I still want my mom when I am sick! lol

Sd has been sick at our house before but never asked for bm. I think because historically- since before she can remember, dh and I have had her half the time or more so she has always gotten as much nurturing from us as she has from bm.

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