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if your teen or step teen...

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:49 PM
  • 43 Replies
If they were known to lie, to the point of making up stories about daily activities and you knew for sure they were hanging out with kids who were using drugs and drinking would you go through their things?
IE snoop, if you were sure they were lying about activities etc?
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:54 PM
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In my DH's case, SD15 has not been known to lie. But it was discovered by her mom going through her phone that she was actually drinking and smoking pot.

DH has never been one to snoop, but I know he was glad BM did, otherwise I really don't think anyone would've guessed what was going on.

I'd say if you have reason enough to be suspicious, yes, snoop. You're ultimately trying to protect your kids.
soonergirl980
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:56 PM
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I don't think it's appropriate for most SP's to snoop. Parents though if they feel the need through proven behavior then of course they should. The only thing I don't think they should snoop through in a situation of COD is the other parents conversation with the kids. Those should be allowed to be private.

3killingme
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:57 PM
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Absolutely. They're still kids, and as adults their safety is our responsibility, whether they like it or not. I'm a firm believer of "while you're living under my roof..." I do think the level of sneaking needs to match the possible problem though...
ZennMomma
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:57 PM
Dealing with similar issues eight now. SD is with us most the time BM doesnt care about partying and kids smoking etc.
My DH thinks im awful for snooping when things get wonky, i dont like it, but the girl is a steal trap 😒


Also, im really sorry about your SD, its so hard.
mrsd2013
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:57 PM
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I would snoop. Dh would gladly snoop ss's things.
Pero4
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 4:59 PM
2 moms liked this

My teen yes, my fictional step-teen no. I think this should be up to the parents ... and most parents know perfectly well what's going on with their kids, but choose to ignore it. The problem is, no matter how much you say, no matter how much evidence you present, it'll fall on deaf ears, and you'll be the bad guy.

3killingme
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I think that there are times not even conversations with the other parent should be private, depending on the other parent. If the other parent is still angry or vindictive then their conversations with the kids could be inappropriate or hurtful...

Quoting soonergirl980:

I don't think it's appropriate for most SP's to snoop. Parents though if they feel the need through proven behavior then of course they should. The only thing I don't think they should snoop through in a situation of COD is the other parents conversation with the kids. Those should be allowed to be private.

LovePhotoBug5
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes. Have no problem with that. SD did a lot of lying... She was smoking pot and drinking beer at 13/14 - at BM's house. Unsupervised. We had her babysit one night, and she was watching porn while younger SD and friend were 3 feet away! And it was pretty graphic stuff...

I don't know what had prompted me to check the laptop when we got home... but something seemed off, so while DH walked SD back to BM's house, I jumped on the laptop and did a quick history search. OHHHH maynnnn... DH was LIVID at what he saw... And yeah, she was only 14 or so when that happened.... Younger SD's BM said "oh that is normal for teens to do" - but DH, myself, my siblings.... had NEVER watched that kind of stuff.... then again, that BM thought it was cool that she was smoking pot and drinking....

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Good luck!

Quoting ZennMomma: Dealing with similar issues eight now. SD is with us most the time BM doesnt care about partying and kids smoking etc.
My DH thinks im awful for snooping when things get wonky, i dont like it, but the girl is a steal trap 😒


Also, im really sorry about your SD, its so hard.
ZennMomma
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you, you too!


Quoting runinpinkshoes: Good luck!

Quoting ZennMomma: Dealing with similar issues eight now. SD is with us most the time BM doesnt care about partying and kids smoking etc.
My DH thinks im awful for snooping when things get wonky, i dont like it, but the girl is a steal trap 😒


Also, im really sorry about your SD, its so hard.
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