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Hi, Im new!

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 4:50 AM
  • 64 Replies
I met my fiance 3 years ago. He was separated with 3 children. They are amazing! I love them! But, they are teenagers so sometimes I want to scream!! Their mother is another story! She is "nice nasty". She does and days things indirectly about me but, when I see her, she pretends she likes me. We are counting down to 18!! We have 3 years to go! Thank God for kids that are close in age.
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 4:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tottaxi
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:58 AM

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 

Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".

So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:59 AM
2 moms liked this
At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.

Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:15 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm 36 and see my parents once a year at most.

Kids move away, have their own lives. CS ends.

Things do change when kids turn 18.

Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Well some children do take a while to launch but kids of divorce tend to launch since their parents are glad to be out of the COed relations with the other parent.

Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this
DH and I have plans for when his CS finally ends. We'll finally be able to buy a house, maybe even move to another city if we want to! No more anchor to BM!

Quoting faerie75: At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.

Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:37 AM
I told SO I want to move to San Diego. But I might have to wait until ds2 is 18 as well because he will be 13 and prob will have his friends and life already you know.

Idk I f I will ever be able to buy a home :( I told SO a few year before retirement we are going to buy an RV.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: DH and I have plans for when his CS finally ends. We'll finally be able to buy a house, maybe even move to another city if we want to! No more anchor to BM!
Quoting faerie75: At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.
Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 



Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".



So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:46 AM
Is it because cost of living is so high there? How much does your SO pay for CS? Right now it may feel impossible, but no more CS will free up a lot of money.

DH and I live paycheck to paycheck now, but we each save $50 per paycheck, and in 10 years when the last one turns 18, we'll have a down payment! Plus it'll get easier once his two oldest are 18, which is only 3 & 4 years away.

We want to move to Seattle, which is also pretty expensive.

Quoting faerie75: I told SO I want to move to San Diego. But I might have to wait until ds2 is 18 as well because he will be 13 and prob will have his friends and life already you know.

Idk I f I will ever be able to buy a home :( I told SO a few year before retirement we are going to buy an RV.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: DH and I have plans for when his CS finally ends. We'll finally be able to buy a house, maybe even move to another city if we want to! No more anchor to BM!
Quoting faerie75: At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.
Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:50 AM
Yes that and bad credit. I have about 8000 I am not paying. Because I don't have it.

He really doesn't have it too terrible w support considering it is 3 kids but we sure could use it to feed them while they are here all the time lol.

It is high but less than yours. But he prob makes less than your DH too.

I really should try to save at least 50 a month. To start. Then maybe we could have a savings.

With only our kid we wouldn't need a big house.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: Is it because cost of living is so high there? How much does your SO pay for CS? Right now it may feel impossible, but no more CS will free up a lot of money.

DH and I live paycheck to paycheck now, but we each save $50 per paycheck, and in 10 years when the last one turns 18, we'll have a down payment! Plus it'll get easier once his two oldest are 18, which is only 3 & 4 years away.

We want to move to Seattle, which is also pretty expensive.

Quoting faerie75: I told SO I want to move to San Diego. But I might have to wait until ds2 is 18 as well because he will be 13 and prob will have his friends and life already you know.

Idk I f I will ever be able to buy a home :( I told SO a few year before retirement we are going to buy an RV.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: DH and I have plans for when his CS finally ends. We'll finally be able to buy a house, maybe even move to another city if we want to! No more anchor to BM!
Quoting faerie75: At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.
Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:55 AM
The credit issues will go away 7 years from the time they were reported.

And yeah your SO shouldn't really be the one even paying CS, lol.

If you can save even a little right now, I would.

Quoting faerie75: Yes that and bad credit. I have about 8000 I am not paying. Because I don't have it.

He really doesn't have it too terrible w support considering it is 3 kids but we sure could use it to feed them while they are here all the time lol.

It is high but less than yours. But he prob makes less than your DH too.

I really should try to save at least 50 a month. To start. Then maybe we could have a savings.

With only our kid we wouldn't need a big house.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: Is it because cost of living is so high there? How much does your SO pay for CS? Right now it may feel impossible, but no more CS will free up a lot of money.

DH and I live paycheck to paycheck now, but we each save $50 per paycheck, and in 10 years when the last one turns 18, we'll have a down payment! Plus it'll get easier once his two oldest are 18, which is only 3 & 4 years away.

We want to move to Seattle, which is also pretty expensive.

Quoting faerie75: I told SO I want to move to San Diego. But I might have to wait until ds2 is 18 as well because he will be 13 and prob will have his friends and life already you know.

Idk I f I will ever be able to buy a home :( I told SO a few year before retirement we are going to buy an RV.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: DH and I have plans for when his CS finally ends. We'll finally be able to buy a house, maybe even move to another city if we want to! No more anchor to BM!
Quoting faerie75: At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.
Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 


Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".


So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:56 AM
I have been thinking of doing consumer credit counseling. I did it after my divorce and it really helped Havin just one payment.

His credit sucks too.

Well I have 11 more years lol.


Quoting runinpinkshoes: The credit issues will go away 7 years from the time they were reported.



And yeah your SO shouldn't really be the one even paying CS, lol.



If you can save even a little right now, I would.
Quoting faerie75: Yes that and bad credit. I have about 8000 I am not paying. Because I don't have it.



He really doesn't have it too terrible w support considering it is 3 kids but we sure could use it to feed them while they are here all the time lol.



It is high but less than yours. But he prob makes less than your DH too.



I really should try to save at least 50 a month. To start. Then maybe we could have a savings.



With only our kid we wouldn't need a big house.

Quoting runinpinkshoes: Is it because cost of living is so high there? How much does your SO pay for CS? Right now it may feel impossible, but no more CS will free up a lot of money.



DH and I live paycheck to paycheck now, but we each save $50 per paycheck, and in 10 years when the last one turns 18, we'll have a down payment! Plus it'll get easier once his two oldest are 18, which is only 3 & 4 years away.



We want to move to Seattle, which is also pretty expensive.
Quoting faerie75: I told SO I want to move to San Diego. But I might have to wait until ds2 is 18 as well because he will be 13 and prob will have his friends and life already you know.



Idk I f I will ever be able to buy a home :( I told SO a few year before retirement we are going to buy an RV.

Quoting runinpinkshoes: DH and I have plans for when his CS finally ends. We'll finally be able to buy a house, maybe even move to another city if we want to! No more anchor to BM!

Quoting faerie75: At 18 there is really no need to interact directly w BM anymore. YA you will run into her but the kids will be legal adults and in my case the support will end.

Quoting tottaxi:

What happens at age 18?  Parenting does not end just because the children are no longer minors.  If you asked my mom she would probably say that she is still parenting me and I am 37. 



Kids return home after they become adults.  Family events...like weddings and births...will still bring you into situations where you will have to deal with his ex.  And it is very likely that she will never quite forgive the fact that you began seeing her husband while they were "separated".



So, although you are not quite a step mom (neither am I since SO are not yet married), prepare yourself for a haul a lot longer than the next three years.

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You must be a member to reply to this post.
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