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missed visitation

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:16 AM
  • 13 Replies
Dh has to drive to a meet up point an hour away from home to drop sd off with her mom for visitation. This is the third time in a year that bm has randomly not shown up for her visitation. We think she is forgetting when she's supposed to pick up her daughter.

How would you handle this?
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:30 AM

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.

miapia1020
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:32 AM
I think that's a good idea but since the exchange place is court ordered he'd probably have to go to change it. Also she requested the exchanges take place at a police station, so he'd still have to take sd to the station for the exchange. Also, today is her birthday, so she's pretty upset her mom forgot her :(

Quoting whatIknownow:

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.

codysara
by Platinum Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:16 AM
Why not send a text saying "we are on our way, eta 1 hour" ???
WrongWayDiva
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:24 AM

Make sure you document the missed visitations, either get a report from the police station or go to a nearby gas station and buy something like a coffee--keep the receipt with the date and time on it.   He must keep showing up for the exchanges, even if BM doesn't show up.  He can go back to court to change the visits and present evidence that she is missing the exchanges.  Sorry for your SD--crappy thing to do, especially on her b-day. 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:43 AM
What is it w BM's fuckin up their kids b days this week? Sheesh.

Quoting miapia1020: I think that's a good idea but since the exchange place is court ordered he'd probably have to go to change it. Also she requested the exchanges take place at a police station, so he'd still have to take sd to the station for the exchange. Also, today is her birthday, so she's pretty upset her mom forgot her :(

Quoting whatIknownow:

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.

miapia1020
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 12:08 PM
In my case I think it's truly that she can't read the fucking court order. Every missed visit has been on a holiday. She forgot to pick her up for the 4th of July weekend, Labor Day, and now her birthday. She remembers some holidays and forgets others. And in the past dh has called bm when she didn't show to make sure something didn't happen like a car accident or something, which she then flips her shit yelling about how she's gonna have him arrested for keeping sd from her...

Quoting faerie75: What is it w BM's fuckin up their kids b days this week? Sheesh.

Quoting miapia1020: I think that's a good idea but since the exchange place is court ordered he'd probably have to go to change it. Also she requested the exchanges take place at a police station, so he'd still have to take sd to the station for the exchange. Also, today is her birthday, so she's pretty upset her mom forgot her :(

Quoting whatIknownow:

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 12:10 PM
At least it was an accident :/ not so here.

Quoting miapia1020: In my case I think it's truly that she can't read the fucking court order. Every missed visit has been on a holiday. She forgot to pick her up for the 4th of July weekend, Labor Day, and now her birthday. She remembers some holidays and forgets others. And in the past dh has called bm when she didn't show to make sure something didn't happen like a car accident or something, which she then flips her shit yelling about how she's gonna have him arrested for keeping sd from her...

Quoting faerie75: What is it w BM's fuckin up their kids b days this week? Sheesh.

Quoting miapia1020: I think that's a good idea but since the exchange place is court ordered he'd probably have to go to change it. Also she requested the exchanges take place at a police station, so he'd still have to take sd to the station for the exchange. Also, today is her birthday, so she's pretty upset her mom forgot her :(

Quoting whatIknownow:

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.

miapia1020
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 12:13 PM
Yea I don't understand it. If the roles were reversed id be asking for more time, not giving it up.

Quoting faerie75: At least it was an accident :/ not so here.

Quoting miapia1020: In my case I think it's truly that she can't read the fucking court order. Every missed visit has been on a holiday. She forgot to pick her up for the 4th of July weekend, Labor Day, and now her birthday. She remembers some holidays and forgets others. And in the past dh has called bm when she didn't show to make sure something didn't happen like a car accident or something, which she then flips her shit yelling about how she's gonna have him arrested for keeping sd from her...

Quoting faerie75: What is it w BM's fuckin up their kids b days this week? Sheesh.

Quoting miapia1020: I think that's a good idea but since the exchange place is court ordered he'd probably have to go to change it. Also she requested the exchanges take place at a police station, so he'd still have to take sd to the station for the exchange. Also, today is her birthday, so she's pretty upset her mom forgot her :(

Quoting whatIknownow:

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.

fedupmama
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 12:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Doesn't it make sense to confirm with her via email or text so you don't waste 2 hours driving?
JustOneAndDone
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 12:49 PM

That is heartbreaking :(

Quoting miapia1020: I think that's a good idea but since the exchange place is court ordered he'd probably have to go to change it. Also she requested the exchanges take place at a police station, so he'd still have to take sd to the station for the exchange. Also, today is her birthday, so she's pretty upset her mom forgot her :(
Quoting whatIknownow:

when my ex started doing this (he wouldn't be home to receive the kids for his weekends), I stopped driving them. I told him if he wanted to see them he had to come get them. We live 20 minutes apart.

If I were your DH, I would tell Mom she has to come get them. Let her drive all the way to your house, and your DH can drive all the way to retrieve them at the end of the weekend.


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