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what to send away issue

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:57 PM
  • 45 Replies
Hello,
I'm looking for advice on how other moms deal with this. My step daughter was with us half the day today. We have her 3 days a week and overnight once a week. She asked to bring her whole easter basket back to her mom's house. Instead I split it in half. Her basket included toys, clothes and earrings. I wished to keep it all at our house so she would have it when she is with us but I didn't want to be selfish. What do mom's/step mom's usually do when it comes to sending toys/clothes to the other home? I have been her step mom for 5 years and have always struggled with this. Her mother doesn't allow her to bring items to our house. Thank you
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kayjacemom
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:59 PM
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Stuff that us bought for the kids stays at our house that isn't edible. items from bm house goes home does not stay here
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:02 PM
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Once the gift is given, the child gets to do whatever they want with it.  Isn't that the definition of gift?

The only time kids can't take something to their other parents home is when it was a group gift like a Wii or something.

CampHarris
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:04 PM
2 moms liked this

What we buy stays here.  What the OP buys stays at their house.  

That goes for my kids with their BF and SKs with their BM.  It's easier that way.  If I send things with my kids when they go with BF, they rarely come back... same with BM.

hopefulmom99
by New Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:06 PM
The trouble we are having though is that we end up with no clothes or toys here as she spends more nights there and wants to bring everything to her moms
runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this
My step kids' mom is like this too - she doesn't like the kids bringing things to our house. Here, they're allowed to take whatever they want of theirs, wherever they want. They are their things, and I think they should be able to have them at either house.

While I see your point about wanting her to have things at your house, I'm sure your SD appreciates being able to use the items at both houses. Especially since she's at her moms more. And hopefully she'll bring the non-edible items back with her when she comes again.
runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:08 PM
That's an understandable concern. Have you asked her to bring some things back with her?

Quoting hopefulmom99: The trouble we are having though is that we end up with no clothes or toys here as she spends more nights there and wants to bring everything to her moms
hopefulmom99
by New Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:12 PM
Quoting runinpinkshoes: That's an understandable concern. Have you asked her to bring some things back with her?

Quoting hopefulmom99: The trouble we are having though is that we end up with no clothes or toys here as she spends more nights there and wants to bring everything to her moms


We have but it has not been effective. I don't feel my SD should suffer but it's tough to have to replace outfits over and over.
tottaxi
by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:12 PM
3 moms liked this

We keep everything separate.  No taking of anything to the other parent's home.  They are sent back in the clothes, shoes, underwear and outerwear they come to us in.

whatIknownow
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:16 PM
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I would have let her take the whole thing if she wanted. If it is really a gift to her, she should be allowed to take it home. That is where she lives.

Her mother should also allow her to bring her personal possessions where she wants.

hopefulmom99
by New Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:20 PM
Quoting whatIknownow:

I would have let her take the whole thing if she wanted. If it is really a gift to her, she should be allowed to take it home. That is where she lives.

Her mother should also allow her to bring her personal possessions where she wants.



She lives here too. I bought her the shirts because we needed more for here. Where is the line?
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