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And this crap continues

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 1:30 PM
  • 22 Replies
so ds almost 17 is grounded to the house since his little stunt the other night until he goes back to dads and then dad will also be dealing w him.

Well I stayed home from work to ensure he stayed home and my mom is there today.

This fucking kid snuck out the window several times last night. SO is furious because he just out the screen back on.

He doesn't respect me, he doesn't respect our house and SO thinks he's selling dope.

I'm going to have to tell his dad that too. That he still smokes over there behind his dad back and he needs to find out what our sneaky lying kid is up to.
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 1:30 PM
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by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 1:32 PM
He won't be visiting me here for a long time. I don't want him around his friends here and he will not listen to me. I will have to go to his dad or see him when he goes to our hometown.

I am so disappointed. This kid breaks my heart more than any man ever could :(
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 1:36 PM
:-( I am sorry! I don't have teenage boys, I can't imagine trying to maintain authority over a nearly grown man. All I can think is military school! But seriously I hope things get better soon.
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 1:53 PM
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Military school. Seriously my friend sent her kid there and it made him a changed man. Most of them are private schools and expensive but they have scholarships available. You should look into it. My friend swears it kept him out of prison.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 2:05 PM
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This scares me for my future with five teens...
Good luck faerie you are a good mom doing what you have to do for your son.
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 2:12 PM
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Ugggghhh... what a crappy situation.  I can only imagine how frustrated you are.  I second the military school thing, lol.

And I am also scared.  Someday we will have four teenagers simultaneously.  Three boys.  Dear god help me.

by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 2:27 PM

 he also told me to shut up this morning.

he calle dm e a bit ago at work saying he wanted to talk and not fight. then asked if he could go somewhere. i told him hell no. he said i was ruining his vacation and i told him he ruined his won vacation by making poor choices. he said he didnt make a poor choice -____-

i told him i dont want to argue w him and bitch at him the whole rest of his time here, so stop asking to go anywhere because he isnt going anywhere, and if he wants to see a friend they can come to the house.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 2:27 PM

Oh geez, I wish I had advice to offer. I am at a loss. Try to keep your chin up, keep the faith and know that almost everything passes....

by Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:09 PM
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I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through almost the exact same thing with my son, who is turning 18 in May. It was a devestating road and one I don't wish on any mom. The hurtful words, manipulation and ability to make me feel like I failed as a parent. There were times where I wouldn't hear from him for months. He is my oldest child and as different as night and day compared to my BS15 and DD13. It has been over 4 years of pain with him. I finally did have to step back because no matter how I tried to teach, guide and support he did not want it. He was smoking weed, selling weed, getting in trouble with the law, expelled from school, running away. He actually has been living on his own - including financially. It was his choice - he didn't want to follow the rules and he fought constantly to be on his own. The police basically said at 17, after running away from his BF's home several times, that we couldn't force him to stay. He lived with his grandparents for a little while but then went on his own. We finally had to let go.

At one point, a year or so ago, I told him I loved him and will always love him and when he's ready to put his life back on track and build a good future I will be there for him.  He's now starting to reach out to me. It's been baby steps over the last several months but I think he's realizing where his life is headed. But I couldn't force him to see it - nor could DH, BF or any other familiy member. He has to learn it on his own. He was let go from his job yesterday due to slow business and realizes he doesn't want to work in a kitchen making minimum wage for the rest of his life. I was the one he called to ask for help - not money  - but what he can do. I am actually meeting with him this weekend to sit down and work on a plan with him to get his HSED, a new job and offer some options to him - all which will come with conditions. I'm cautiously optimistic. I hope that he's really ready to change but, honestly, I'm putting armor around my heart right now because I know how I've had the same hopes over the last few years.

I am so sorry you are having to experience this. Feel free to message me if need to chat with someone whose been through familiar territory.


by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:13 PM

im so sorry.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:17 PM
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Hang in there.  My yss went thru the smoking weed thing around 15 - got arrested twice.  His teenage years were very very rough.  He is now 30 and doing well and a i'm so proud of the  man he has become.  But  it took him a few years to figure life out.  

My oss - was a herion addict - I gave my dh a choice - he goes or I go.  he was 19 at the time.  

he hit rock bottom a few times and is now clean for 3 years.  working, living with his gf and loving life.

Your and your exh will have to do tough love.  it works.  be strong. 

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