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Visitation questions

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:29 PM
  • 55 Replies
If you are the custodial home in an EOWE sitch, are you respectful that the other parent has limited time with their kids? Do you only count the weekend time as visitation? Do you say "I want them two weekends in a row because the non-custodial parent had two weekends in a row due to the Holiday or birthday accommodations? Do you as the custodial parent, consider your court ordered visitation on weekends too? If so, what would you call the Monday-Friday time? Do you feel it is the same for a child to go 2 days without seeing you the same as going 19 days without seeing the other parent because the number of weekends are equal?

If you are the non-custodial home... Do you consider the Monday-Friday time of the custodial home valuable and important parenting time with the kid(s)?
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CampHarris
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:45 PM
Can't relate BM (primary) sends them over here all the time.

I always gave my kids dad any time he asked for. He loved dad so it was rare.
Paradoxx
by Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm going to answer this from the CP stand point.  My weekends with my kid are my weekends with my kid.  His dad likes to throw in "You have him all week long!"  Yes I do, but I also work.  DS goes to school and aftercare.  Once I pick him up it's dinner, homework, sports practices,  and bathtime, rinse and repeat.  I rarely get "fun" time with DS during the week, rarely get relaxing time with DS during the week, so yes, I look forward to those weekends and do not give them up often. 

Sometimes, because of the holiday schedule my ex will have DS 3 weekends in a row.  It sucks, but it is the way the CO is.  Sometimes because of the holiday I will have 3 weekends in a row, during this time, I usually give up 1 day the weekend before the holiday and the weekend after, because I know that DS misses his Dad.   And ultimately, it's about what is best for DS.


Edit for horrible spelling error.  :)

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Fuck That. Wha kid needs all that? Nope.

Quoting CampHarris:

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.

Paradoxx
by Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this

You are a bigger person than I am, because that would be a big fat no!

Quoting CampHarris:

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.


JustOneAndDone
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this

As the CP I love weekends because M-F is all about homework (we do about 2 hrs. a night) and I love to have weekends to actually be able to relax and enjoy my time with DD.  Yes, I have felt bad when because of the holiday schedule she has gone extended periods of time without seeing BF.  In the beginning, I tried to be flexible with him, however, when I asked for that same flexiblity when the vacation schedule was such that I would have NO time near the holidays to spend with her, and asked for ONE day for my family to celebrate Christmas with her and he not only refused, but through in "gold digger, whore and selfish c*nt" into the mix, I no longer attemptd any communicatin or cooperation with him.  The CO is what it is and I don't deviate.

CampHarris
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:50 PM

Oh it's just one more lovely shade of crazy that is BM.  The kids have zero time to be kids, and we in turn have zero time to do or plan things as a family without the pleasure of seeing BM every weekend, several times a weekend.

I'm sure that's by design.

Quoting faerie75: Fuck That. Wha kid needs all that? Nope.
Quoting CampHarris:

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.


faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Yuck. At least BM here is pretty easy for ME to avoid.

Quoting CampHarris:

Oh it's just one more lovely shade of crazy that is BM.  The kids have zero time to be kids, and we in turn have zero time to do or plan things as a family without the pleasure of seeing BM every weekend, several times a weekend.

I'm sure that's by design.

Quoting faerie75: Fuck That. Wha kid needs all that? Nope.

Quoting CampHarris:

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.

CampHarris
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:56 PM

Seriously.  I've recently stopped going to a lot of it because I just can't deal with seeing crazypants two to four times per weekend.  Also, I hate kid sporting events... the yelling parents... the ridiculously overzealous coaches...  plus sports bore me beyond explanation, and I have shit to get done on the weekends.  It's just better for my sanity if I opt out, lol.

Honestly I have no idea how SHE does it.  They are in something every. single. day.  I would kill myself before committing to that kind of bullshit with my kids, lol.  

Quoting Paradoxx:

You are a bigger person than I am, because that would be a big fat no!

Quoting CampHarris:

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.



CampHarris
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, there's NO avoiding this BM.  She's eeeeeverywhere, lol.  That's why I've stopped going to everything.  It's better for my mental health, lol.  

Quoting faerie75: Yuck. At least BM here is pretty easy for ME to avoid.
Quoting CampHarris:

Oh it's just one more lovely shade of crazy that is BM.  The kids have zero time to be kids, and we in turn have zero time to do or plan things as a family without the pleasure of seeing BM every weekend, several times a weekend.

I'm sure that's by design.

Quoting faerie75: Fuck That. Wha kid needs all that? Nope.
Quoting CampHarris:

Hmmmm.... 

Well, we aren't the custodial home to the SS's, however I am the custodial home to my two.  But my ex only sees my kids a few times a year, so I really don't have any experience with him taking them EOWE.  Man does it sound nice some days though, lol.  Ahhhh... every other weekend with no kids whatsoever... ahhhh... 

Sorry, I'm back, lol.

I know BM does not give one crap about SO's time though (we have them EOWE and Tues/Thurs nights).  We have the boys two weekends in a row (and haven't had them two weekends in a row) because we switched with her so SO could have them on his birthday.  She also schedules as many ECs as possible during every day of SO's visitation time... Tuesdays and Thursdays have went from 4-8 to 6/7-8 because of ECs.  Saturdays and Sundays there are swimming lessons, water polo, MMA, basketball, soccer, cotillion, skateboarding lessons... oh, I heard they'll be taking surfing lessons on the weekends soon too... you name it.  She never calls or sees if SO minds prior to signing them up for something... it's more of a notification of how our weekends will be spent, lol.



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