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Is it OK that I'm annoyed

Posted by on May. 17, 2015 at 1:03 AM
  • 88 Replies
My SD had her first dance recital today and I do not get along with the bm at all, everytime we are around each other it turns into a giant scene. So I decided to stay home and keep myself out of the situation. The bm's mom was there so bm had to be on her best behavior and be nice to my dh. Then she goes and posts on Facebook a picture of the three of them that bm's mom took, dh said that he was handing my SD back to hr mother when her mom said hey smile! So he kind of got stuck taking a pic with them. She took so many pictures while she was there because she sent them to him but that was the only one she put up on Facebook, they have been divorced for a while now but has yet to change her status to anything else.. And I know where we stand as a couple but it just really bugged me that she tried to pretend for her mom and all her fb friends that they were this happy little family.. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that she didn't act up and that my SD got to enjoy her parents at the same time without anyone fighting but she didn't need to make it public and try and act like something it wasn't. Am I just being insecure? Or would it have bugged you a little too? (btw it's not cause she wants him back or didn't want them divorce, she is the one that moved out originally and the one that filed, I'm in no way the reason they broke up so I'm not scared that he still wants to be with her or anything. Just to clarify)
by on May. 17, 2015 at 1:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:11 AM
10 moms liked this

I am of the belief that "family" pictures stop when the parents get divorced. That would also be weird for me. You and BM not getting along makes it harder, I'm sure. So no, I don't think you're wrong to feel this way.

I think you'll also get a lot of responses saying it's great for kids to be able to have a pic of their parents together. Personally, as a child of divorce myself, I don't think it's actually that big of a deal to kids. 

If she's over him, why is there a scene every time you show up?

Atwitsend93
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:21 AM
Because she flip flops, sometimes she decides she wants to make it work and get remarried to him.. We aren't married yet but have been together for three years now lol. My point though was that she chose to end it, it wasn't like he made her, they were both incredibly unhappy together. But since she flip flops she hates me because I'm "on her way", she thinks I'm trying to poison her daughter against her and take her place.. But I'm not

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

I am of the belief that "family" pictures stop when the parents get divorced. That would also be weird for me. You and BM not getting along makes it harder, I'm sure. So no, I don't think you're wrong to feel this way.

I think you'll also get a lot of responses saying it's great for kids to be able to have a pic of their parents together. Personally, as a child of divorce myself, I don't think it's actually that big of a deal to kids. 

If she's over him, why is there a scene every time you show up?

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:25 AM

So it sounds like neither BM or her mom are over this? 

Quoting Atwitsend93: Because she flip flops, sometimes she decides she wants to make it work and get remarried to him.. We aren't married yet but have been together for three years now lol. My point though was that she chose to end it, it wasn't like he made her, they were both incredibly unhappy together. But since she flip flops she hates me because I'm "on her way", she thinks I'm trying to poison her daughter against her and take her place.. But I'm not


Atwitsend93
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:29 AM

well, I guess not really then huh. I think she should be. They seperated 5 years ago. 

runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:45 AM

Yes, she should be. Her mom should be also. Good luck!

Quoting Atwitsend93:

well, I guess not really then huh. I think she should be. They seperated 5 years ago. 


codysara
by Platinum Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:47 AM
I'm sorry. That stinks. I would be more upset with the ex mil for pushing the situation.
brieri
by on May. 17, 2015 at 1:49 AM

 I think you should of gone with him, so you can be in the picture too, whether you get along with her or not. You are with the father, who happens to have an ex and they have children together. 

Just have to ask:

What are thinking in long terms when this child grows up,  graduation days come along, college days, etc, and moves out and decide when she wants her parents in her home for the holiday or better yet she gets married, has babies of her own, you don't want to be there to watch her through these milestones with having both her parents in a picture?  Why not leave him when you can?  Which is NOW!

Get over your jealousy - the man is yours, not the child.

 

Valentina327
by on May. 17, 2015 at 1:54 AM
They'll always be family ... something you have to accept and find a way to incorporate into your life if you want to be with him.
Agentmom4957
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2015 at 2:27 AM
1 mom liked this
So...are you saying that she needs to leave him....or get over her jealousy? I'm confused.

Quoting brieri:

 I think you should of gone with him, so you can be in the picture too, whether you get along with her or not. You are with the father, who happens to have an ex and they have children together. 


Just have to ask:


What are thinking in long terms when this child grows up,  graduation days come along, college days, etc, and moves out and decide when she wants her parents in her home for the holiday or better yet she gets married, has babies of her own, you don't want to be there to watch her through these milestones with having both her parents in a picture?  Why not leave him when you can?  Which is NOW!


Get over your jealousy - the man is yours, not the child.


 

Agentmom4957
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2015 at 2:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Honestly, I would try not to be too upset about the picture. It's weird seeing someone with the ex 'playing house' for a minute. He's with you and loves your, or else wouldn't be there. And yeah, bm and bms mom may be pains. But be the bigger person and smile through it. After all....you win. You got the man you wanted and love right? :)
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