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Do you split healthcare costs for your children with the other Parent?

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:18 PM
  • 19 Replies

I have 2 young daughters FT. They do go with their Dad every other weekend, that's it.  He never takes them any more time than he has to.  He uses his work for an excuse every time.  Any time off school or holidays, he never sees them.  He does the minimum as far as I'm concerned.   Anyways, when I asked him about the summer schedule for our girls, he basically told me he doesn't HAVE to take them.  It's always up to him just how often he takes them, he has never followed the basic parenting schedule we agreed to.  I never expected him to take them half the time or anything, but it's pretty ridiculous how little he sees them.  He does live an hour away, but he works near our home, so it's not really an excuse.  

He is always throwing it in my face that he pays child support, which I am very thankful for.  But he also says just last year alone he paid $15,000 out of pocket for our one daughters healthcare.  she has juvenile arthritis and has monthly infusions, so it adds up.  What kind of plan would he have that made him pay that much?  I know he's lying about it, because I called the insurance company and they said maximum out of pocket for an individual on his plan is $3,000, and family out of pocket maximum is $6,000. Now I'm not sure if his plan was any different last year, but I just can't bleleive anyone would have to pay that much out of pocket ever with a decent plan.  I'm so tired of him always using it against me when I know it's not true.  He also keeps saying I should be paying half her medical expenses, but he agreed to pay all of it in court....Anyone else have this issue?  Our daughters are both covered under his health insurance plan through his employer.  Is he lying to me or not?

by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:18 PM
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by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:23 PM

Our current CO says ex is supposed to carry medical and dental insurance (and doesn't) and is supposed to pay 50% of all medical/dental expenses (he doesn't).  

Our original divorce agreement was that he was to pay 100% of all medical, but when we went back to court a few years ago, we changed it to 50% (I had hoped that, since he wasn't paying the 100%, maybe he'd at least pay half... not so much).

Anyway, that's what our CO says.  

by Ruby Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:26 PM

Maybe,he was referring to his portion of the monthly premium contribution of his family plan.

by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:43 PM

Some states will consider health insureance premiums a CS deductible and parents pay half of the medical bills. However, I think it's only fair that if he expects you to pay half, you are involved in the decisions.

Either way, until he goes to court about it...he might as well stfu. He shouldn't be nagging you about sometbing he agreed to.
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 7:31 PM
My X is court ordered to pay half but I've not seen a dime of it in ten years. He bitches about the $200 a month he pays in CS for 2 kids.
by Platinum Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 7:32 PM
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Just because he has/carries the insurance doesn't mean everything is covered.  The insurance says $3,000 per individual but that doesn't cover the non-covered portion of things.  I've had my kids prescribed something they needed only to get to the pharmacy and find that it's not fully covered, so instead of paying my usual $20 or less for an Rx, I'll be shocked to find it's over $100.  If it's not needed urgently I'll call the doc back and see if they can Rx something else that IS fully covered (so I'm paying the $20 or less for it and ins picks up the rest), but to Ins, that $20 is towards the $3k. OR, they don't consider medications and part of that $3k and it's only referring to extras (procedures, hospital stays, etc.) and doesn't refer to the basics. 

XH is CO'd to carry the boys on his insurance (to get a discount on his CS) AND to pay half of all out of pocket co-pays (for Rx, for office visits or for procedures) but, he doesn't.  I pay for them, he pays for the insurance only (and, at this point, he pays the same amount if he was only covering his girls with SM, so he really shouldn't get a discount on it any longer, but I've not gone back to court over it).

If he's claiming he paid $15,000 out of pocket, ask him for the receipts.  He'll have some record somewhere of this expense. 

by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 7:54 PM
He agreed to covering the medical expenses. If he really paid $15k last year and feels that medical should be split he should bring it to a judge. Otherwise I wouldn't entertain a change to the agreement. I assume he was aware of SD's health issues at the time of the agreement, I'm not seeing a reason for change.
by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:02 PM
Your xh sounds like my xh . He didn't pay insurance but a couple of years. I kept them on mine cause I never knew when he would not be covering them. No he never paid any portion of any bill. He always pulled out his check stubs and screamed I pay child support. $28 a week bug fucking deal. He didn't start paying it till he was almost $3000 behind. Go figure
by Silver Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 9:02 PM
We cover SS15, 100% full coverage. BM2 has SS10 and SD6 (almost 10 and 6) under her current husband. This gives them 100% full coverage also. If they weren't covered through their stepfather we would have signed them up under me. Hubby could cover them under his, but it makes more financial sense to use mine. I'm not sure what he would be required to pay if there was a copay. But hubby and BM's have a decent relationship all I think they would work it out pretty good.
by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 9:27 PM

I can't speak for your husband, but he may have screwed himself over by saying in court he would pay all of it (in some weird, ego boosting, I'm so picked on and I do everything kind of way).  So he gets credit for paying for all of it, but expected you to pay half anyway.  BM did that to herself...I won't go into details...and screwed herself out of about $800 a month.   Completely her doing, too.  

I know it sounds kind of crazy, but, maybe your ex IS crazy?

by on Jun. 3, 2015 at 8:47 AM

Maybe he's lying, maybe he isn't. Does it matter? If your CO says he pays it all, then it doesn't matter if he is lying or not. He's probably bitter about paying CS and medical for a child he's not that interested in.

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