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"It's Not About How the Parents Feel!"...S/O

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 8:15 PM
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1 mom liked this

I believe when this is thrown out it is really about what the SP is feeling, what they want, what they assume. They are hiding behind children to do what they want, to feel included, to feel good about something. 

I know, I know - "it's about what the kids want/feel" is the canned answer that has been given. How does a step even justify trying to tell a parent, any parent, that they know better what the parent's kid is feeling than the SP does.

So, if it isn't about what the parents feel when it comes to their own children, why should it ever matter what a SP feels? 

Do SPs raise their own kids based on their children's feelings and wants or do they just try to apply that to other people's kids so that they get what they want? 


by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 8:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rocker.Mom.07
by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 8:53 PM


"How does a step even justify trying to tell a parent, any parent, that they know better what the parent's kid is feeling than the SP does."   ...do you mean than the parent does? Not trying to be "grammar/spelling nazi" I just want clarification. Doesn't really make sense otherwise...

XXanonymousXX
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:11 PM
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Everything is not quite as simple as you'd like it to be. I doubt any SM here has said that the child's feelings matter above all else, in any situation, under any circumstances. If that were the case my SD would no longer go to school, she'd eat ice cream all day and be given permission to marry Adam Levine.

A little common sense goes a long way, even when dealing with the elusive and confusing SM.
codysara
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:26 PM
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That was never my arguement, but when bm and bf disagree on what is in the best interest of the child.

Some (not all) sp do spend more time with sk than bp's. So yeah, some do know better.



Rocker.Mom.07
by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:27 PM
2 moms liked this

We're SMs...we don't have common sense or any sort of intellegence at all. We are just mindless oversteppers who follow our DHs around like lost puppies, blindly hate and think we know more than BM. ;) I'm sure I missed some stuff...but that covers a good part of the evil that we are.

Quoting XXanonymousXX: Everything is not quite as simple as you'd like it to be. I doubt any SM here has said that the child's feelings matter above all else, in any situation, under any circumstances. If that were the case my SD would no longer go to school, she'd eat ice cream all day and be given permission to marry Adam Levine. A little common sense goes a long way, even when dealing with the elusive and confusing SM.


codysara
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:33 PM
2 moms liked this
Pshh.. I'm super stepmom, super aunt (yup I also know what is better for my niece and nephew than their bps) and super mom!
:) :) :) :)

Quoting Rocker.Mom.07:

We're SMs...we don't have common sense or any sort of intellegence at all. We are just mindless oversteppers who follow our DHs around like lost puppies, blindly hate and think we know more than BM. ;) I'm sure I missed some stuff...but that covers a good part of the evil that we are.

Quoting XXanonymousXX: Everything is not quite as simple as you'd like it to be. I doubt any SM here has said that the child's feelings matter above all else, in any situation, under any circumstances. If that were the case my SD would no longer go to school, she'd eat ice cream all day and be given permission to marry Adam Levine.

A little common sense goes a long way, even when dealing with the elusive and confusing SM.

XXanonymousXX
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:34 PM
1 mom liked this
LOL... And now I guess we can add slaves to the whims and feelings of children.

Quoting Rocker.Mom.07:

We're SMs...we don't have common sense or any sort of intellegence at all. We are just mindless oversteppers who follow our DHs around like lost puppies, blindly hate and think we know more than BM. ;) I'm sure I missed some stuff...but that covers a good part of the evil that we are.

Quoting XXanonymousXX: Everything is not quite as simple as you'd like it to be. I doubt any SM here has said that the child's feelings matter above all else, in any situation, under any circumstances. If that were the case my SD would no longer go to school, she'd eat ice cream all day and be given permission to marry Adam Levine.

A little common sense goes a long way, even when dealing with the elusive and confusing SM.

Rocker.Mom.07
by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:39 PM
2 moms liked this

I can't 100% say that BM in my sitch has SD's best interest in mind all the time... or even has her sons' best interest in mind. She would rather live with her parents than her husband and share a room with SD, than let her sons grow up with their dad by having SD EOWE at her BMs parents house while DH is primary. Nope, she would rather DH not "win" this selfish battle. Now, I know not everyone agrees with my thinking... Yeah, she wants to be with SD, blah blah...if that was the case she would not have married this sex offender AFTER the first court battle when the CO PO was put in place where SD cannot be around him. If she had SD's best interest in mind and thought of SDs feelings, how SD's life would go if she married this serial cheater...then it would be a lot different thinking on my end.
But what do I know?... I'm just a silly SM...oh wait, I'm a BM too.

luckyinlife
by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:45 PM
God Shabby don't you know BMs are nothing but human incubators?
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Shhh! You're making the rest of us look bad 😉

Quoting codysara: Pshh.. I'm super stepmom, super aunt (yup I also know what is better for my niece and nephew than their bps) and super mom!
:) :) :) :)

Quoting Rocker.Mom.07:

We're SMs...we don't have common sense or any sort of intellegence at all. We are just mindless oversteppers who follow our DHs around like lost puppies, blindly hate and think we know more than BM. ;) I'm sure I missed some stuff...but that covers a good part of the evil that we are.

Quoting XXanonymousXX: Everything is not quite as simple as you'd like it to be. I doubt any SM here has said that the child's feelings matter above all else, in any situation, under any circumstances. If that were the case my SD would no longer go to school, she'd eat ice cream all day and be given permission to marry Adam Levine.

A little common sense goes a long way, even when dealing with the elusive and confusing SM.

Shabby_Chic
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 10:36 PM


Quoting codysara: 
 I had custody of my brother and never felt that way. I'm not super mom, I'm not super sister, I'm not super aunt, I'm just not super anything. However, I know my kids better than other people do and I assume other parents know their own kids better than I do. I don't presume anything.
I should probably start adding my disclaimers back in ... the "normal, run of the mill, two involved parents, blah blah blah" spiel so people stop saying "but, but, but..." There are ALWAYS exceptions and I'm well aware of that, I just don't add them into each and every one of my posts. 
To clarify, when a mom or dad has at least 50/50 or if SP came onto the scene late in the game no matter who has custody or if both parents are involved in their child's life,  the SP should not presume to know the kid better, believe they know what the kid is feeling and the parent doesn't, or assume the parent has to be accepting of the SPs want of anything, especially when they hide behind the SK and what they assume the child wants or that they know what is best. 
I wish someone would answer if that is how they, the SK, raise their own bios - letting them call the shots, doing things based on what the kid wants no matter what the adult thinks should happen, acting as if the parent's feelings are nonexistent and the parent is unimportant in all things so long as the kid gets what they want. Or if they allow other adults to decide that for them.

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