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looking forward to my own kids??

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:07 AM
  • 8 Replies
I am constantly torn between looking forward to having my own kids and being a good step mom. If I don't feel like I am a good step mom, what makes me believe I will be a good mom to my own. I've had to become medicated just to put up with selflessness.

Selfish people have kids all the time right? Kids are annoying and loud. I haven't felt this overwhelmed with my own life and choices since grad school. Please help.
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:07 AM
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Replies (1-8):
kss12
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:31 AM
Being a mom and being a step mom are two totally different roles. They're really not comparable.
Why do you feel so confused?
owl0210
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I had my own kids before becoming a stepmom and it's much different in my opinion. I'm not parenting my stepson that is my husband's job but I will back him up in any way. Once you have your own children you will understand. I specifically did not get married or have children until I was 30 because I knew that I wasn't ready yet.
trampled
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:38 AM
Thank you. I am loving all of the input here.
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this

You dont need kids to be a good stepmom.....just be kind to them-don't take no shit.


AM1011
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:00 AM
I had skids before having one of my own and I think because of going in that order I feel like my son has been a breeze.

There's a natural bond between mother and child and it just makes things go a lot smoother. Where as a relationship with your step kids is just that a relationship and relationships require work.
DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:58 AM
I think we need to examine why being a step mom is so tough for you. Being a mom is different, but some of the issues are the same.

For instance, if you have trouble with the kids and your husband isn't stepping up, that could mean he's not the right person for you to have kids with.

If you dislike noise and need a lot of down time or time to pursue adult hobbies, having your own kids will actually stress you out more.

Can you explain your issues?
whatIknownow
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 10:00 AM

Based on your other posts, it seems you can change some of the things you do so that being a SM is easier for you.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this
Um step kids don't hold a candle to your own. If I wanted kids I really wouldn't consider being the best step mom I can be. I just am a step mom, not something that requires effort I'm just nice to the kids and let dad parent them.
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