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Events Together

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:42 AM
  • 29 Replies

 


So I am the step mom and I am wondering is it normal to go to me sd birthday? My husband says it will be awkward and werid for us do you think we should go?? We were invited.



by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kss12
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:45 AM
Idk. DH and BM have done separate birthdays since SS was 1 so I have no experience with this.
whatIknownow
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:48 AM
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I'd probably skip it. Birthday parties should be for kids anyway.

oranguglad
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:52 AM

We used to. And it started out fine. It DID become awkward and weird in our situation because of bm's behavior so we started doing separate parties a couple of years ago.

I highly recommend going and trying it out. Be pleasant and friendly, but keep strict boundaries and only make small talk about the party, etc. Do not talk about or respond to questions about your personal life. Stay in the background and offer to help with things like clean up, but if it is mom's party- let her run the show.

How long have they been apart and how long have you two been together? Is this the first party since they split? If not, have they done shared parties in the past?

Did dh just want to not go at all and celebrate with sd another time, or was he thinking he would go without you?

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

If you feel uncomfy or if it will cause needless drama then you might want to choose to skip it. Or maybe Dad, kiddo and you can celebrate on your own another time with a special day of fun?

whatIknownow
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 10:01 AM
2 moms liked this

(based on information from your other post)

Do you think your husband wants to keep you and BM separated because he is having an affair with her?

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this
I did this but then I definitively realized I can't stand BM and she is not a person I want to associate with so we stopped.

Quoting oranguglad:

We used to. And it started out fine. It DID become awkward and weird in our situation because of bm's behavior so we started doing separate parties a couple of years ago.


I highly recommend going and trying it out. Be pleasant and friendly, but keep strict boundaries and only make small talk about the party, etc. Do not talk about or respond to questions about your personal life. Stay in the background and offer to help with things like clean up, but if it is mom's party- let her run the show.


How long have they been apart and how long have you two been together? Is this the first party since they split? If not, have they done shared parties in the past?


Did dh just want to not go at all and celebrate with sd another time, or was he thinking he would go without you?

couplevt123
by New Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 11:11 AM

you have a point.

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 11:23 AM
2 moms liked this

Of course he doesn't want you there.  Of course it will uncomfortable for him to hang out with the woman he loves with his wife there.

whatIknownow
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 11:41 AM

oh snap...

Quoting GlockMom:

Of course he doesn't want you there.  Of course it will uncomfortable for him to hang out with the woman he loves with his wife there.


couplevt123
by New Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 12:03 PM

My husband is faithful and is not the affair type. He just is uncomfortable because he does not like her family and not her attitude. But wants suppport his daughter and because she wants us both to come. For her we will uncomfortable or not. Its her day.  I was just asking if people thought was good idea to go or not and should this be a regular thing on birthdays. We ususally do seperate so this is a slight change. We just dont want drama. Some of our families dont mix.

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