Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

young stepmom

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:24 PM
  • 25 Replies
So,I have been married to a widower for 4 years, we have an almost 3 year old boy. My husban has 2 kids from his previous marriage, the son is 20 and the daughter is 19. I am 28 and husband 41. The daughter is off to college but she still comes the weekends to visit, we are all in the same town. The son got kicked ou of college because he only showed up to his first class and lied to the family for a whole semester until dad found out, he moved back home, he tried the airforce but he got kicked out because he didnt passed his test, he move to his grandmas house the mom's mom but he caused trouble and he moved back home. He is just so lazy and doesnt help at all, he doesnt want to get a job or go to school, he literally just exists, he makes his food and gets dishes dirty and wont even bother to put them in the dishwasher, he wont even take out the garbagge and I have to remind him to finish whatever he is doing. They were raised by my husbands mom and I think she spoiled them, when she comes visit what she does very often, she does everything for them. I am just tired of this situation I only have one baby not 2, I complain but my husband doesnt do anything about this situation, he waits for his mom to tell his kids what to do. I think is time for his son to move out but my husband doesnt talk to him about it. I knew I would have to live with my husbands kids when I married him, so I did all the cleaning while they were still in high school but now they r 19 and 20 year old adults, the daughter is not a clean person either, very lazy too but at least she is doing well in college. I dont what to do, be the maid and let the so live with us until he is 40 lol or forever since he doesnt want to get a job or study. Another thing both of the kids inherited a lot of money from their mom's grandma so they have money to get their own place.
by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:24 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
annabl1970
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:29 PM
So don't do it
You are not their maid
Let their dad clean their mess
whatIknownow
by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:31 PM

I'm sorry for your husband's kids' loss. 

6isus
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:52 PM
Well, my smart attitude today... Says keep their doors shut and don't be too accommodating by enabling them. But also know they lost heir mother. They are part of the man you love and that is unconditional. So, pray they meet someone and fall in love and move on to have their own homes.

You could also wait for their kids to pay them back by being bigger slobs! Lmao
amonkeymom
by Amy on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:00 PM

Welcome!

Has your husband given his son a timeline for when he needs to be a grown up and move out?

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:01 PM
They are still young. It would be wrong to force them out. The problem really isn't them, but your husband. He needs to be a parent.
DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:03 PM
You are going to have to admit that you married into this situation so now you have to live with it. If you are no longer willing, you can move out.
cdrainey3
by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it's sad that their mom passed, however enabling them like grandma and dad clearly are, does not help them. Yes mom died, but life goes on. It has to. The house still needs to be cleaned, life still needs to be lived. I would never want someone to give my child a "pass" on being lazy and not being a productive member of society because I died. Maybe for the first year.. After that, it would be time to move on and try to be happy and successful.

I don't think it will come very good from you though. Have you tried talking to your dh about it? What does he say? Suggest your ss at least get a job?
AmiraBalam
by New Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:54 PM
Their mom died 14 years ago, they were raised by their grandma and my husband
AmiraBalam
by New Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 10:20 PM
My husband has asked him many times to get a job or go to school, he doesnt want to do anything but spend time on the computer
codysara
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 10:21 PM
So grandma raised them her way, while your husband provided financially?
If your husband was never active in parenting his children and allows gma to baby them, you probably had warning signs prior to marriage.
How long have you been with your husband?

Quoting AmiraBalam: Their mom died 14 years ago, they were raised by their grandma and my husband
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)