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Would you still let them go?

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 8:46 PM
  • 23 Replies

I am the stepmom to two boys who are 9 and 10 years old. I have been raising them since they were 2 and 3 their BM desided when they were 3 and 4 to move a few states away and we didn't hear from her til they were 6 and 7 when she decided to move back. She took us to court for visitations they gave her supervised visits with my husband and I doing the supervising (her choice). She very rarely showed up saying she didn't have the gas to meet us at the park. Then before she was able to have unsupervised visits she eneded up moving again for another 2 years. She moved back and in August she decided she wanted to see them again and ended up working her way to weekend visits now this is where everything goes wrong. The second weekend she got them was the weekend of Halloween the kids weren't even there for 20 minutes when she called saying we needed to take the youngest to the hospital because her dog bit him in the face. Since then she had the dog put down and our youngest was comfortable going over there again. Both of them have changed their behaviors for the worse and now she was supposed to have them this weekend and she called Friday saying that she couldn't get them because her 5 year old daughter started trying to choke out kids in her class and people at her house. I guess my question is would you let your kids still go for visits or would you have them stopped? There is a whole lot more going on over there such as her 15 year old smoking pot. She is seeing someone new now and told our kids that they couldn't let her daughters dad know or the other guy she dated after him that she was going on dates with this new guy because they would beat him up. Sorry if this is hard to follow but I was trying to give background information.


I forgot to add my husband has had custiody of them since they were 2 and 3 because she had multiple drugs in her system.

by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 8:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tiafez
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow.
Loveamom
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
What does dad say?
sleepingangel85
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 8:59 PM

Dad doesn't like them going

BHLF4
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:08 PM
1 mom liked this
If there's a lot going on and some of the people in the house are violent our showing problems with adjustment, maybe go back to supervised visits? My main concern would be that she it's hiding things (or people) in her household. Whatever the reason is for that, it can't be good
codysara
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:09 PM
2 moms liked this
It's court ordered, so unless you take her to court you can't keep them from her.
Sounds like dad needs to go back and request reinstating supervised visits.
sleepingangel85
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:13 PM


Quoting codysara: It's court ordered, so unless you take her to court you can't keep them from her. Sounds like dad needs to go back and request reinstating supervised visits.

That is probably what we will have to do now but we didn't want to hurt the kids by having to keep them away from her since they just now got to have her in their life.

codysara
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't think of it as hurting them, dad needs to protect them at all costs..even if that means being the "bad guy"



Quoting sleepingangel85:

Quoting codysara: It's court ordered, so unless you take her to court you can't keep them from her.
Sounds like dad needs to go back and request reinstating supervised visits.

That is probably what we will have to do now but we didn't want to hurt the kids by having to keep them away from her since they just now got to have her in their life.

pusheen-kitty
by Battler on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:21 PM
It's up to your DH what he wants to do with his kids and the kids mom situation.

How is your relationship with them? Any mutual children?
sleepingangel85
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:36 PM


Quoting pusheen-kitty: It's up to your DH what he wants to do with his kids and the kids mom situation. How is your relationship with them? Any mutual children?

I have been the only mother constantly in their life my relationship with them is great. We don't have any children together I suffered a miscarraige in September that would have our first child together.

lovinmyfam16
by Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Unfortunately you will have to send them if this is court ordered. I would document everything for when your DH hires an attorney. He will need one. Likely it will go back to supervised visits. It is so hard to prove an unfit parent, or so it seems.

I feel terrible for those children. 😔
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