• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

hello

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:01 PM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this
I am new to this group A little new to the step mom thing. Its been challenging. I love my step kids as I do my own kids. I don't refer to them as my step kids. I refer to them as my kids. I don't care that they call me by my first name because I respect them enough to understand they love their biological moms. The two older kids are adults and the same age as my biological kids the youngest is 9 . I feel I have a great relationship with them all.I read this post. About a lady who was asked the question "why did you choose to be a step mom? I can barely stand my own. Kids" I just want to say it takes a special person to take on the task of raising some one else's child. It takes a special kind of love. My hat goes off to all step parents. To the person who says they can barely stand their own kids. My question to you is.. why did you become a parent in the first place?
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:01 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Verrine
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Good response! Hi.

viv212
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Hello! Can you please clarify something? How old are your kids? SO's kids? And how long have you been with SO?

Being a SM is challenging! I feel like mom's in general have to be selfless but a SM has to be even more selfless and the appreciation may not come until the kids are grown. I know sometimes I get frustrated and then one of my sd's hugs me and it melts the frustration away.
tmac891
by Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:15 PM
My bio kids are 19 and 21. My stepkids are 22,19 and 9 I've been with SO for 5 years. All the older kids grew up together. SO and I have known each other for 14 years. We were friends before we became a couple
jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this

If I'm thinking of the same post you are referring to, it was a poster who was told this by a friend, or a cousin, and the person said it about her own bio kids, NOT her step kids.  She asked the OP why she married a man with children as the person speaking couldn't even stand her one kids sometimes (or could barely stand her own kids sometimes, I'll have to go back to it to read what the OP actually wrote). The person who said this isn't on CM (as far as I know) to answer your question. 

Some people aren't meant to have/be around kids, but they have them anyway.  My own GM was one.  She didn't like kids.  She didn't like most of her GKids either.  She wasn't really a 'kid' person.  Yet, before she died, she had 7 kids, 18 grandkids, and 15 or 17 great grand kids (I don't know all of these cousins so I'm sure it's at least 15 great grand kids that I know of).  

How long were SO and the BM separated/divorced before you and he became more than friends? What has been challenging in your situation?  And, do the older kids mind you calling them 'your kids' or you loving them as you do your own kids? 

Welcome to the group. 

Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:20 PM
3 moms liked this

Have you ever met a teenager or a toddler? Just wondering because as much as I love my kids there have been plenty of times I can't stand the very sight of them. 

tmac891
by Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 12:58 AM
The kids seem to accept me. And appreciate my rules I have . My 22 year old SS is living with us at the moment. He confides in me a lot with issues he is having. My 9 yo SS understands I'm not his mom but tells every one I'm his best grown up friend. The challenges I have is my SO lets the younger one get away with a lot. He has a different mom than the two older ones. I sense the competition between my SO and the BM on who's. House is better to be at. My little SO gets tired of it and starts asking me if I can ask his mom

Quoting jules2boys:

If I'm thinking of the same post you are referring to, it was a poster who was told this by a friend, or a cousin, and the person said it about her own bio kids, NOT her step kids.  She asked the OP why she married a man with children as the person speaking couldn't even stand her one kids sometimes (or could barely stand her own kids sometimes, I'll have to go back to it to read what the OP actually wrote). The person who said this isn't on CM (as far as I know) to answer your question. 

Some people aren't meant to have/be around kids, but they have them anyway.  My own GM was one.  She didn't like kids.  She didn't like most of her GKids either.  She wasn't really a 'kid' person.  Yet, before she died, she had 7 kids, 18 grandkids, and 15 or 17 great grand kids (I don't know all of these cousins so I'm sure it's at least 15 great grand kids that I know of).  

How long were SO and the BM separated/divorced before you and he became more than friends? What has been challenging in your situation?  And, do the older kids mind you calling them 'your kids' or you loving them as you do your own kids? 

Welcome to the group. 

jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 1:10 AM
It's great that your 2 older skids get along well with you. Some don't have that relationship. I suspect, if you ask, you may get some good ideas from others here with suggestions on how to deal with the different style of parenting/rules you and DH have with his DS9 (if you're looking for that).

Quoting tmac891: The kids seem to accept me. And appreciate my rules I have . My 22 year old SS is living with us at the moment. He confides in me a lot with issues he is having. My 9 yo SS understands I'm not his mom but tells every one I'm his best grown up friend. The challenges I have is my SO lets the younger one get away with a lot. He has a different mom than the two older ones. I sense the competition between my SO and the BM on who's. House is better to be at. My little SO gets tired of it and starts asking me if I can ask his mom

Quoting jules2boys:

If I'm thinking of the same post you are referring to, it was a poster who was told this by a friend, or a cousin, and the person said it about her own bio kids, NOT her step kids.  She asked the OP why she married a man with children as the person speaking couldn't even stand her one kids sometimes (or could barely stand her own kids sometimes, I'll have to go back to it to read what the OP actually wrote). The person who said this isn't on CM (as far as I know) to answer your question. 

Some people aren't meant to have/be around kids, but they have them anyway.  My own GM was one.  She didn't like kids.  She didn't like most of her GKids either.  She wasn't really a 'kid' person.  Yet, before she died, she had 7 kids, 18 grandkids, and 15 or 17 great grand kids (I don't know all of these cousins so I'm sure it's at least 15 great grand kids that I know of).  

How long were SO and the BM separated/divorced before you and he became more than friends? What has been challenging in your situation?  And, do the older kids mind you calling them 'your kids' or you loving them as you do your own kids? 

Welcome to the group. 

jpickens
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 1:58 AM
2 moms liked this
"It's me....I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet to go overrrr everythingggggg"

Lol! Im sorry. I always think about that song when I see tbat subject line.

Welcome!!! I became a step mom because I married my husband and I liked his kiddos. 😊
tmac891
by Member on Apr. 5, 2016 at 12:50 PM
SO and BM were divorced for 4 years before we became an item. What had been challenging in my situation is that. The things the little guy gets away with that the older kids never did. There is tension between the 22 yo and the 9 yo. They are half brothers. BM treats the 9 yo like a baby I don't tolerate it and he knows it. But as he gets older the attitude us starting to come out. He has another older brother that lives with BM. I think he picks up a lot from him as well. In a sense I feel bad for hin because so many diffent rules at two house holds. So I am a little more patient with him but I don't let him overstep boundaries eithet.

Quoting jules2boys: It's great that your 2 older skids get along well with you. Some don't have that relationship. I suspect, if you ask, you may get some good ideas from others here with suggestions on how to deal with the different style of parenting/rules you and DH have with his DS9 (if you're looking for that).

Quoting tmac891: The kids seem to accept me. And appreciate my rules I have . My 22 year old SS is living with us at the moment. He confides in me a lot with issues he is having. My 9 yo SS understands I'm not his mom but tells every one I'm his best grown up friend. The challenges I have is my SO lets the younger one get away with a lot. He has a different mom than the two older ones. I sense the competition between my SO and the BM on who's. House is better to be at. My little SO gets tired of it and starts asking me if I can ask his mom

Quoting jules2boys:

If I'm thinking of the same post you are referring to, it was a poster who was told this by a friend, or a cousin, and the person said it about her own bio kids, NOT her step kids.  She asked the OP why she married a man with children as the person speaking couldn't even stand her one kids sometimes (or could barely stand her own kids sometimes, I'll have to go back to it to read what the OP actually wrote). The person who said this isn't on CM (as far as I know) to answer your question. 

Some people aren't meant to have/be around kids, but they have them anyway.  My own GM was one.  She didn't like kids.  She didn't like most of her GKids either.  She wasn't really a 'kid' person.  Yet, before she died, she had 7 kids, 18 grandkids, and 15 or 17 great grand kids (I don't know all of these cousins so I'm sure it's at least 15 great grand kids that I know of).  

How long were SO and the BM separated/divorced before you and he became more than friends? What has been challenging in your situation?  And, do the older kids mind you calling them 'your kids' or you loving them as you do your own kids? 

Welcome to the group. 

tmac891
by Member on Apr. 5, 2016 at 1:00 PM
I have. I also have two Biological children of my own who are now in college. I have never felt I could not stand the sight of them. If I ever felt that way I would have question my self. They are kids they are going to make us angry sometimes they dont do it intentionally. And when they do things to upset us in my experience they are learning on their own regardless of what we tell them. I have gotten frustrated with them. But never to to point I can't stand them.

Quoting Boobear110:

Have you ever met a teenager or a toddler? Just wondering because as much as I love my kids there have been plenty of times I can't stand the very sight of them. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)