• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

StepDad's

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:24 AM
  • 46 Replies


I am curious to hear how everyone's situation is with the step dad.  Do your BK (s) have their Bio Dads in the picture or out of the picture?  What "role" does the Step Dad play in your kids life?


I ask because some big changes are happeneing in my household and I am curious how others situations are regarding the role of a step dad.



Thanks ladies!

by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:24 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mrsd2013
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:34 AM
My bk ds12's dad hasn't been in the picture since he was 3. Even then it was sparatic. Ds calls Dh 'dad'. They have a good close relationship. But it is different from the relationship between ss and Dh. As expected. Ss doesn't have a step dad.
Loveamom
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:41 AM

 My ex is my daughters dad and he is still very involved (she is almost 20 and has a baby, they both live with me and my fiance) My ex comes over to the house to see our daughter and grand baby. Ex is very thoughtful and always includes fiances daughter. My fiance is not really a father figure to my daughter, she has a bond with him more like an uncle or respected adult in the house, but because she was older and has a dad, he does not parent her. Fiance is very active with our grand baby. He is Poppy! I really think it depends on the kids ages and the involvement of the bio  dad. Good luck with your upcoming changes.

luckyinlife
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:48 AM
ODD was about 2 1/2 when DH and are moved in together. Her BF was and is out of the picture. The last time he saw her she was right before she turned 3 for a few hours. She is almost 8 now. I found out recently that he moved cross country, not because he told me, lol.

We basically function like an intact family. He works full time, I am a SAHM. We would never tell BF he couldn't visit and have offered our home many times but he never did. The SP adoption paperwork has been started so hopefully its all final by end of summer. Idk how his move will effect that process.
Rocker.Mom.07
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:10 AM

My exhusband is "in" the picture. Since I left him, he's been in and out of jail which made it hard for him to really be around. These past two years he has been living in a halfway house and working. When I left I moved to another town about an hour away. Honestly, I think all this has been what he has needed. He was/is an addict to pain killers and an alcoholic.
He has been clean, working out, getting healthy, and focusing on work. From what I know, he gets out of the halfway house soon or is out. Once he is able to we will start a slow progression of getting him and our 2 DDs used to each other again so he can take them EOWE.

With all that with my ex, my DH has been the male influence in my girls lives. I mostly take care of things with them, discipline, school stuff, etc, but he will step in when I need him. Once their dad does take them EOWE...I don't think things will change much since they will still be here primarily.

kandacer_6
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:10 AM

When my kids meet my DH my twins were 4, my middle 6, and oldest 8.  He has acted like a father to them from basically the beginning.  My BK dad is out of the picture, for the most part.  He lives out of state, never calls, never writes or sends anything.  But he does see them about 1 a year.  He doesnt parent them at all.

However, my SK have a Mom and a Dad and other the years, a lot of struggle, learning and acceptance, I decided to not parent them at all.  I am happy to be my DH wife and a "friend" to his kids.

However, the problem is that my kids are starting to have some major resentment in the way my DH handles them vs his kids.  I really talk to them and try to help them see the differences but they are so angry.

So I am trying to figure out if my DH parenting my kids is a bad thing.  I feel like perhaps he needs to step back and be that friend that I am to his kids BUT I dont want to hurt them more.

So many changes have happened in the last 2 weeks or so and my BK anger has grown over the past few years and I see them hurting. 

A part of me feels selfish for trying to make this work with my DH.  A part of me thinks maybe he is the best dad they have and they need him... I dont know ladies.

kandacer_6
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:13 AM


Thank you.  I love the way you put it, a male influence! 

Does it cause any sort of problems between your BK and SK-such as jealousy or feeling your DH treats them differently?  How do you handle that?


Quoting Rocker.Mom.07:

My exhusband is "in" the picture. Since I left him, he's been in and out of jail which made it hard for him to really be around. These past two years he has been living in a halfway house and working. When I left I moved to another town about an hour away. Honestly, I think all this has been what he has needed. He was/is an addict to pain killers and an alcoholic. He has been clean, working out, getting healthy, and focusing on work. From what I know, he gets out of the halfway house soon or is out. Once he is able to we will start a slow progression of getting him and our 2 DDs used to each other again so he can take them EOWE.

With all that with my ex, my DH has been the male influence in my girls lives. I mostly take care of things with them, discipline, school stuff, etc, but he will step in when I need him. Once their dad does take them EOWE...I don't think things will change much since they will still be here primarily.


luckyinlife
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:14 AM
How old are your kids now?

Quoting kandacer_6:

When my kids meet my DH my twins were 4, my middle 6, and oldest 8.  He has acted like a father to them from basically the beginning.  My BK dad is out of the picture, for the most part.  He lives out of state, never calls, never writes or sends anything.  But he does see them about 1 a year.  He doesnt parent them at all.

However, my SK have a Mom and a Dad and other the years, a lot of struggle, learning and acceptance, I decided to not parent them at all.  I am happy to be my DH wife and a "friend" to his kids.

However, the problem is that my kids are starting to have some major resentment in the way my DH handles them vs his kids.  I really talk to them and try to help them see the differences but they are so angry.

So I am trying to figure out if my DH parenting my kids is a bad thing.  I feel like perhaps he needs to step back and be that friend that I am to his kids BUT I dont want to hurt them more.

So many changes have happened in the last 2 weeks or so and my BK anger has grown over the past few years and I see them hurting. 

A part of me feels selfish for trying to make this work with my DH.  A part of me thinks maybe he is the best dad they have and they need him... I dont know ladies.

whatIknownow
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:16 AM

My kids' Stepfather is my husband. He has been very active in their lives, more active than their father has been. My kids' father is in their lives, but when they need something, they call their stepfather.

kandacer_6
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:21 AM
My twins are 12, middle daughter 14, and oldest almost 16.

Quoting luckyinlife: How old are your kids now?

Quoting kandacer_6:

When my kids meet my DH my twins were 4, my middle 6, and oldest 8.  He has acted like a father to them from basically the beginning.  My BK dad is out of the picture, for the most part.  He lives out of state, never calls, never writes or sends anything.  But he does see them about 1 a year.  He doesnt parent them at all.

However, my SK have a Mom and a Dad and other the years, a lot of struggle, learning and acceptance, I decided to not parent them at all.  I am happy to be my DH wife and a "friend" to his kids.

However, the problem is that my kids are starting to have some major resentment in the way my DH handles them vs his kids.  I really talk to them and try to help them see the differences but they are so angry.

So I am trying to figure out if my DH parenting my kids is a bad thing.  I feel like perhaps he needs to step back and be that friend that I am to his kids BUT I dont want to hurt them more.

So many changes have happened in the last 2 weeks or so and my BK anger has grown over the past few years and I see them hurting. 

A part of me feels selfish for trying to make this work with my DH.  A part of me thinks maybe he is the best dad they have and they need him... I dont know ladies.

kandacer_6
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:22 AM
Does it work well with your SK?

Quoting whatIknownow:

My kids' Stepfather is my husband. He has been very active in their lives, more active than their father has been. My kids' father is in their lives, but when they need something, they call their stepfather.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)