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Feeling Annoyed

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:33 PM
  • 16 Replies

The kids get out of school here in about 6 weeks. My SD-11 lives with us and my SS-10 lives with his mom out of state. DH and BM don't want to just switch the kids out because then they will never see each other so the idea was for SD to fly to her mom's for the summer as soon as school gets out and for SS to come up here for a month of the summer in July-ish so the kids will have the beginning and end of summer together and then SD comes back here in August for school. Sorry if that's convoluted. The problem is twofold.

One, no tickets have been purchased. There is no official plan for the summer. I know SD is getting anxious and missing her mom. I am getting antsy because I know ticket prices are going to be crazy if we wait too much longer and just not knowing is so frustrating for me. 

The other issue is that SD threw a massive tantrum when she found out she had to fly by herself. Neither us nor BM and her step dad have the extra money to buy five plane tickets to shuttle these kids back and forth so they are just going to have to deal with it but DH will not just come out and tell SD that it's too bad, so sad and she just has to deal with it and it's annoying. My mom and dad never tolerated us being "afraid" of things if that makes sense. I feel like SD has been taught it's cute to be scared and I just have no patience for it.

Anyone else have any similar issues? Would you be frustrated? How did you handle it? Or did you just decide not to care and see how it plays out? 

by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CampHarris
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:45 PM

How old is SD?  Has she flown alone before?  

And whose responsibility is it to buy the tickets?  BMs or yours?

SammysMomma
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:48 PM
Is she going as an unaccompanied minor?
jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm not in your situation, never have been.  ODS18 didn't fly, alone, until he was about 13/14, but he'd been flying with me for years (due to his EC and tournaments out of town/country) so I'd been working him up to going alone.  He was 'afraid' but he did it.  YDS13 has been flying alone since he was 8.  Now he asks why he must fly with someone (I mean, we're ALL going on the trip, can't he go on his own plane?  LOL).  He does his own thing, I don't book our seats together and so it nearly 'feels' like he's on his own, but he'd have no issues going again on his own. 

Any chance she could have a non-stop flight?  Does she not like flying in general?  Can you talk up the 'almost a teen now' thing and make her feel special, important, 'grown up' a bit?  Some airlines even let the kids flying alone peek into the cockpit before/after the flight again too (I'm a bit jealous of that one myself). 

I think the biggest thing I'd be frustrated with is the ticket prices going up and no one has purchased them yet. 

Oh, and the plan for summer and kids seeing each other, going to each parents home, etc. sounds like a good plan, as long as the kids are ok with it too.  :) 

jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:51 PM
Quoting CampHarris:

How old is SD?  SD is 11.  It's in the first line.  (I had to go back twice to look at the ages of the kids while I answered, that's how I found it. :) )  Has she flown alone before?  

And whose responsibility is it to buy the tickets?  BMs or yours?


MadManW.ABox87
by Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 6:05 PM

She's 11 and has never flown alone but has flown 2-3 times a year since she was 3 or 4. 

There is nothing in the order about who is supposed to buy tickets but everyone has agreed that each entity is responsible for the ticket of the child they are receiving. BM & SF to buy SD DH & I to buy SS

How old is SD?  Has she flown alone before?  

And whose responsibility is it to buy the tickets?  BMs or yours?


MadManW.ABox87
by Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 6:08 PM

She has always been fine on the plane and has flown several times a year since before she can remember.

I wish there was a non stop flight because I know it would be easier on both parents and SD but we are in Alaska and there is just...nothing. The only direct flight from Alaska to Texas or surrounding states that we could find is an overnight flight and they won't let an unaccompanied minor fly on the last flight of the night.

Quoting jules2boys:

I'm not in your situation, never have been.  ODS18 didn't fly, alone, until he was about 13/14, but he'd been flying with me for years (due to his EC and tournaments out of town/country) so I'd been working him up to going alone.  He was 'afraid' but he did it.  YDS13 has been flying alone since he was 8.  Now he asks why he must fly with someone (I mean, we're ALL going on the trip, can't he go on his own plane?  LOL).  He does his own thing, I don't book our seats together and so it nearly 'feels' like he's on his own, but he'd have no issues going again on his own. 

Any chance she could have a non-stop flight?  Does she not like flying in general?  Can you talk up the 'almost a teen now' thing and make her feel special, important, 'grown up' a bit?  Some airlines even let the kids flying alone peek into the cockpit before/after the flight again too (I'm a bit jealous of that one myself). 

I think the biggest thing I'd be frustrated with is the ticket prices going up and no one has purchased them yet. 

Oh, and the plan for summer and kids seeing each other, going to each parents home, etc. sounds like a good plan, as long as the kids are ok with it too.  :) 


MadManW.ABox87
by Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 6:11 PM

Yes, I am frustrated that everyone is just sitting on their hands doing nothing. I am so type A that it makes me want to bang my head against the wall :)

Quoting jules2boys:

I'm not in your situation, never have been.  ODS18 didn't fly, alone, until he was about 13/14, but he'd been flying with me for years (due to his EC and tournaments out of town/country) so I'd been working him up to going alone.  He was 'afraid' but he did it.  YDS13 has been flying alone since he was 8.  Now he asks why he must fly with someone (I mean, we're ALL going on the trip, can't he go on his own plane?  LOL).  He does his own thing, I don't book our seats together and so it nearly 'feels' like he's on his own, but he'd have no issues going again on his own. 

Any chance she could have a non-stop flight?  Does she not like flying in general?  Can you talk up the 'almost a teen now' thing and make her feel special, important, 'grown up' a bit?  Some airlines even let the kids flying alone peek into the cockpit before/after the flight again too (I'm a bit jealous of that one myself). 

I think the biggest thing I'd be frustrated with is the ticket prices going up and no one has purchased them yet. 

Oh, and the plan for summer and kids seeing each other, going to each parents home, etc. sounds like a good plan, as long as the kids are ok with it too.  :) 


jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 6:52 PM

Ah, I forgot you were in Alaska.  But, I can understand why the airlines say NO to an overnight flight (and as a parent, I wouldn't want that either). 

How has it worked in the past?  Has one parent (or both) always flown with the children?  (I'm mostly asking out of curiousity)  Has SD made this flight to/from Alaska all those years? 

Quoting MadManW.ABox87:

She has always been fine on the plane and has flown several times a year since before she can remember.

I wish there was a non stop flight because I know it would be easier on both parents and SD but we are in Alaska and there is just...nothing. The only direct flight from Alaska to Texas or surrounding states that we could find is an overnight flight and they won't let an unaccompanied minor fly on the last flight of the night.

Quoting jules2boys:

I'm not in your situation, never have been.  ODS18 didn't fly, alone, until he was about 13/14, but he'd been flying with me for years (due to his EC and tournaments out of town/country) so I'd been working him up to going alone.  He was 'afraid' but he did it.  YDS13 has been flying alone since he was 8.  Now he asks why he must fly with someone (I mean, we're ALL going on the trip, can't he go on his own plane?  LOL).  He does his own thing, I don't book our seats together and so it nearly 'feels' like he's on his own, but he'd have no issues going again on his own. 

Any chance she could have a non-stop flight?  Does she not like flying in general?  Can you talk up the 'almost a teen now' thing and make her feel special, important, 'grown up' a bit?  Some airlines even let the kids flying alone peek into the cockpit before/after the flight again too (I'm a bit jealous of that one myself). 

I think the biggest thing I'd be frustrated with is the ticket prices going up and no one has purchased them yet. 

Oh, and the plan for summer and kids seeing each other, going to each parents home, etc. sounds like a good plan, as long as the kids are ok with it too.  :) 



MadManW.ABox87
by Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 7:15 PM

I understand why they say no too although it would be so nice to put them on the plane in Anchorage and have BM meet them at the gate in Dallas without stopping.

Until last year, we(and DH before we were together) only had the kids in the summer. He would fly down and pick them up and fly with them back. We were able to use the cost of tickets as a credit toward support so it was really a wash for us and the kids were younger and because there is always a layover in Seattle, BM and DH felt more comfortable being with them. But now with the split kids, that's 5 plane tickets and it's just silly when they would be completely fine by themselves on a flight they have been doing since they were 3 and 4.

Quoting jules2boys:

Ah, I forgot you were in Alaska.  But, I can understand why the airlines say NO to an overnight flight (and as a parent, I wouldn't want that either). 

How has it worked in the past?  Has one parent (or both) always flown with the children?  (I'm mostly asking out of curiousity)  Has SD made this flight to/from Alaska all those years? 

Quoting MadManW.ABox87:

She has always been fine on the plane and has flown several times a year since before she can remember.

I wish there was a non stop flight because I know it would be easier on both parents and SD but we are in Alaska and there is just...nothing. The only direct flight from Alaska to Texas or surrounding states that we could find is an overnight flight and they won't let an unaccompanied minor fly on the last flight of the night.

Quoting jules2boys:

I'm not in your situation, never have been.  ODS18 didn't fly, alone, until he was about 13/14, but he'd been flying with me for years (due to his EC and tournaments out of town/country) so I'd been working him up to going alone.  He was 'afraid' but he did it.  YDS13 has been flying alone since he was 8.  Now he asks why he must fly with someone (I mean, we're ALL going on the trip, can't he go on his own plane?  LOL).  He does his own thing, I don't book our seats together and so it nearly 'feels' like he's on his own, but he'd have no issues going again on his own. 

Any chance she could have a non-stop flight?  Does she not like flying in general?  Can you talk up the 'almost a teen now' thing and make her feel special, important, 'grown up' a bit?  Some airlines even let the kids flying alone peek into the cockpit before/after the flight again too (I'm a bit jealous of that one myself). 

I think the biggest thing I'd be frustrated with is the ticket prices going up and no one has purchased them yet. 

Oh, and the plan for summer and kids seeing each other, going to each parents home, etc. sounds like a good plan, as long as the kids are ok with it too.  :) 




AM1011
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it can be a little nerve racking to fly alone at 11yrs old. I used to fly a bunch because I was a military brat but haven't in a while and honestly it would make me nervous to fly now especially if I had to go and do it by myself.

I would be frustrated that things are taking so long to have solid plans. I'm a planner and it would bug me knowing we were wasting time and money by not just picking a date and buying the tickets.
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