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Question when parent dies update

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2016 at 8:20 PM
  • 40 Replies
I have a weird question. One of my relatives who isn't really in her kids life the father of her kids passed away. Now she never got her kids taken away custody wise but just never exercised any rights. Well the step mom has guardianship but never ended up adopting them. Are they going to end up back with mom ?


Mom went to lawyer . I guess the step mom was filing for guardianship but didn't actually have it like we were told. Step mom filed for it the day after her husband died. Mom said lawyer called district attorney in county that the step mom lives in and that if step mom doesn't give the kids to the bio mom then she will be charged with kidnapping. So bio mom whose been absent for four years is going to get the kids tonight and turning those kids lives upside down .....
by on Aug. 4, 2016 at 8:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jpickens
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 8:27 PM
I have no idea. If I was in that situation, I would encourage my steps to be with family if possible but I have no clue how that would work.

Does the mom want custody?
luckyinlife
by on Aug. 4, 2016 at 8:37 PM
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It all depends on what the Mom and blodd relatives do really. This is a big reason why DH has adopted ODD. I don't want her going to a stranger to her aka BF if heaven forbid I died tomorrow.
m2b8609
by Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 9:00 PM
From what I heard. However she hasn't been in their life for four years. She went through addiction and all that . I don't want those kids getting their life changed all at once . I just feel awful for them

Quoting jpickens: I have no idea. If I was in that situation, I would encourage my steps to be with family if possible but I have no clue how that would work.

Does the mom want custody?
m2b8609
by Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 9:01 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel you. My dh is going to hopefully adopt my dd soon as well

Quoting luckyinlife: It all depends on what the Mom and blodd relatives do really. This is a big reason why DH has adopted ODD. I don't want her going to a stranger to her aka BF if heaven forbid I died tomorrow.
DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 11:12 PM
1 mom liked this
Does mom want them? Has she seen them at least once a year? Those are the two biggest factors. Well, that and whether or not SM wants to keep them.

If mom has been even minimally present in their lives and wants custody, then she'll probably get them if she files for than within the first 6 months (or year, depending on state). After that, if SM has had then that long without her filling, SM usually had standing to file herself, at which point its much harder for BM to win because the best interest of the kids comes into play, and it's no longer presumptive that it's in the child's best interest to be with a parent.
Parker90
by Member on Aug. 5, 2016 at 12:01 AM
The mom can get them at least in the short term. A custody case can be set up to argue she is in their better interest. A guardian ad litim (sp?) would act as basically a lawyer for the child and sit down with both parties do home visits etc to determine who would do the best.
m2b8609
by Member on Aug. 5, 2016 at 7:42 AM
She says she wants them . And has told me that she has been prevented by the father. (I know she was in jail for a long time bc of drugs 🙄) but she has not seen them or tried to in four years. I heard that she called the sheriff and is attempting to go pick them up today. The dad died not even 48 hours ago.
The oldest tells people her mom ran away and the youngest doesn't even remember her as he was very young when she left.

Quoting DDDaysh: Does mom want them? Has she seen them at least once a year? Those are the two biggest factors. Well, that and whether or not SM wants to keep them.

If mom has been even minimally present in their lives and wants custody, then she'll probably get them if she files for than within the first 6 months (or year, depending on state). After that, if SM has had then that long without her filling, SM usually had standing to file herself, at which point its much harder for BM to win because the best interest of the kids comes into play, and it's no longer presumptive that it's in the child's best interest to be with a parent.
m2b8609
by Member on Aug. 5, 2016 at 7:43 AM
That's good . I really hope it goes this route with the system seeing they really are where they belong

Quoting Parker90: The mom can get them at least in the short term. A custody case can be set up to argue she is in their better interest. A guardian ad litim (sp?) would act as basically a lawyer for the child and sit down with both parties do home visits etc to determine who would do the best.
Parker90
by Member on Aug. 5, 2016 at 8:02 AM
They will have to request one and warn them it is not cheap ($3000ish if i remember right) but the cost is split by both parties and They can make payments. A family member went through this last year.

Quoting m2b8609: That's good . I really hope it goes this route with the system seeing they really are where they belong

Quoting Parker90: The mom can get them at least in the short term. A custody case can be set up to argue she is in their better interest. A guardian ad litim (sp?) would act as basically a lawyer for the child and sit down with both parties do home visits etc to determine who would do the best.
hotspice58
by Member on Aug. 5, 2016 at 11:36 AM

They could.  If that happens, I would HOPE that the bio family members let the kids stay in touch with their stepmom. If the kids are old enough and they want to stay with sm, the judge MAY take that into consideration.

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