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The 18 year old's decisions

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:21 AM
  • 31 Replies

What happens when the 18 year old chooses to cut communication with the parent? What obligations does the NCP have outside of the financial obligations that were court ordered? 

Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:21 AM
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bonusmomoftwo
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I would think there wouldnt be any obligations at that point that arent court ordered. 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:31 AM
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An obligation as a loving parent to reach out to their child and attempt to heal.

If my someday 36 year old daughter stopped speaking to me, I would keep trying.

There is never a legal obligation to have a relationship with a parent or child. Just a moral one.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:00 AM

I don't see it as immoral to respect the wishes of a now adult. I think I would suggest giving the person some space at least and leave the door open but I don't find forcing a relationship as ever helpful well perhaps it may work for some people but I doubt all.

Quoting pdxmum: An obligation as a loving parent to reach out to their child and attempt to heal. If my someday 36 year old daughter stopped speaking to me, I would keep trying. There is never a legal obligation to have a relationship with a parent or child. Just a moral one.


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

bonusmomoftwo
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:05 AM
3 moms liked this

My sister decided she wanted nothing to do with my dad when she was 12. My parents were getting a divorce and my mom told her a lot of lies about my dad. The court ordered counseling and they told my dad to give her space and not contact her. They said if he was to force visitation, contact, etc that my sister would permanently turn away from him and would run the moment she turned 18. He didnt see or speak to her for almost a year. Then one day she realized everything my mom said was a lie and moved in with my dad a month later and has a very strained relationship with my mom as a result. 

Theres never any obligations other than legal ones but sometimes the best thing to do is give space and follow the wishes of the child. 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:15 AM
Who said anything about forcing?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I don't see it as immoral to respect the wishes of a now adult. I think I would suggest giving the person some space at least and leave the door open but I don't find forcing a relationship as ever helpful well perhaps it may work for some people but I doubt all.

Quoting pdxmum: An obligation as a loving parent to reach out to their child and attempt to heal.

If my someday 36 year old daughter stopped speaking to me, I would keep trying.

There is never a legal obligation to have a relationship with a parent or child. Just a moral one.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:16 AM

I am sorry, I misunderstood your reaching out to the child comment. I am retracting my origninal response to you.

Quoting pdxmum: Who said anything about forcing?
Quoting leegirl_jm:

I don't see it as immoral to respect the wishes of a now adult. I think I would suggest giving the person some space at least and leave the door open but I don't find forcing a relationship as ever helpful well perhaps it may work for some people but I doubt all.

Quoting pdxmum: An obligation as a loving parent to reach out to their child and attempt to heal. If my someday 36 year old daughter stopped speaking to me, I would keep trying. There is never a legal obligation to have a relationship with a parent or child. Just a moral one.


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:17 AM
1 mom liked this

If thechild/young adult is choosing not to communicate or spend time with the NCP I guess the NCP can choose not to go above and beyondwhat's court ordered financially.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:18 AM

I guess I assumed the NCP had already  tried to heal thewounds and salvage the relationship

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

This is situation where the 18 year has decided to just stop talking to the NCP. How would you suggest the NCP try to heal the wounds when the 18 year old refuses to communicate?

Quoting tiafez:

I guess I assumed the NCP had already  tried to heal thewounds and salvage the relationship


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

I imagine that the NCP tried to reach out and was ignored. To me that was attempting

Quoting leegirl_jm:

This is situation where the 18 year has decided to just stop talking to the NCP. How would you suggest the NCP try to heal the wounds when the 18 year old refuses to communicate?

Quoting tiafez:

I guess I assumed the NCP had already  tried to heal thewounds and salvage the relationship


Verified BM/SM/BOB .... wwnsdd?

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