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DH and I had a serious talk. EDIT

Posted by on May. 16, 2017 at 12:45 PM
  • 22 Replies

I know SD and I don't have a good relationship. I am trying to change my ways because I have realized it isn't healthy on how I been in the past. 

Anyways, this morning when the kids went to school, I told DH we needed to talk and it was importanct for him to just listen. I told him on Mother's day BM didn't call or answer at all for SD but for me and that he wasn't there when SD needed him. I felt as SD needed her father because I really didn't know without not being sensitive on the whole situation. I even said maybe her going back to therapy could do some good on her end. I felt bad for SD and she was upset about BM. I also told DH maybe he needs to talk to BM about what is going on with SD. He said that he isn't because BM always does this and it really bugs the shit out of him. That is no excuse why he can't talk to BM. I think BM can try harder for SD, BM is missing out on a lot of things. So, I am going to text BM because I really do think she needs to know how SD feels in this. 

I know I haven't treated SD like my own but I think I can try harder and be there somewhat. 

I will update when I can.

EDIT:

So, I didn't update yesterday because I got busy with my things I needed to do. Anyways, after texting BM she called SD. ASked SD if she wanted to visit her for the weekend. SD got excited and she didn't know I texted BM. I didn't say much to her so I don't know if it was really me.

by on May. 16, 2017 at 12:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hotspice58
by Member on May. 16, 2017 at 1:01 PM

At least you're trying.  Sending hugs to all of you.

codysara
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2017 at 1:42 PM
4 moms liked this
If bm has never cared, why would you think she suddenly will?
You crave drama, sd craves attention, and your dh doesn't give a shit about either of you.
It's not that you haven't treated sd like your own, no one said you should. However, you don't treat her like a child or kindly, she is more of an obstacle or competition to your fight for dh.
oranguglad
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2017 at 1:43 PM
4 moms liked this

I would caution against that. 

Instead of worrying about what bm is doing wrong and what dh is doing wrong... change your own behavior toward sd and let the rest go.

It isn't your job to make bm a better mother.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2017 at 2:24 PM
3 moms liked this

you need to own your place in the distruction of this child's life. For years you have posted to us about how you were jealous of her, you don't ike her, you alternate between hating her and ignoring her to going overboard and smothering her. You have over punished her, cheered your husband on when he was physically and verbally abuse to both her and you. You have made plans, gone balistic, you hate your husband, you love him, you treat pets better than your step daughter. 


back the bus out of that poor girl's life and figure yourself out. you are the second to last person who should be doing any meddling in that poor child's life. She has to somehow grow up an be a real adult after being raised by you and her father. WTF. you hate her, own it and leave the poor girl alone. And now you're raising two more children in a war zone with a man you hate 50% of the time.

loveiscrazy
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2017 at 2:59 PM
I don't fight for dh.

I do treat her like a kid but I told her if she is going to act like an adult then she will be treated like an adult.

I will update this soon as bm is texting me.

Quoting codysara: If bm has never cared, why would you think she suddenly will?
You crave drama, sd craves attention, and your dh doesn't give a shit about either of you.
It's not that you haven't treated sd like your own, no one said you should. However, you don't treat her like a child or kindly, she is more of an obstacle or competition to your fight for dh.
Boobear110
by Audra on May. 16, 2017 at 7:35 PM
2 moms liked this

I think you should leave BM alone. She has shown SD that she isn't a priority to her.  

Why don't you worry about dealing with the relationships in your own home 

pusheen-kitty
by Battler on May. 17, 2017 at 2:26 AM
2 moms liked this
From your other SN, what I remember is: DH is older than you. You had two kids with him, he has a bunch of kids and for whatever reason SD who comes with a SSDI check is with dad. And it's been chaos since then: CPS visits, fights with his daughter, fights with your husband, petty shit like pads and tampons, leaving DH, going back to DH...

Back then you were on DH because his ex didnt pay child support, or not enough, now you care BM is not around? I don't know how you can live the life you are living, and SD will be what, 18 in a couple of years? It's too late to give a shit about her now. Too late to make DH be a dad. Probably not too late to take your two and do what you said years ago- go back to your moms or just leave. You have a job now. What are you waiting for?
loveiscrazy
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2017 at 2:28 PM

Very true and accurate but I am still trying no matte what. I am not movine 2 to 400 miles to live in a damn camper. 

Quoting pusheen-kitty: From your other SN, what I remember is: DH is older than you. You had two kids with him, he has a bunch of kids and for whatever reason SD who comes with a SSDI check is with dad. And it's been chaos since then: CPS visits, fights with his daughter, fights with your husband, petty shit like pads and tampons, leaving DH, going back to DH... Back then you were on DH because his ex didnt pay child support, or not enough, now you care BM is not around? I don't know how you can live the life you are living, and SD will be what, 18 in a couple of years? It's too late to give a shit about her now. Too late to make DH be a dad. Probably not too late to take your two and do what you said years ago- go back to your moms or just leave. You have a job now. What are you waiting for?


tiafez
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2017 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this

I seriously doubt this happened.

loveiscrazy
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2017 at 9:49 PM

It did, you don't have to believe it because you're just an mother who is on the other side of the computer :)

Quoting tiafez:

I seriously doubt this happened.


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