Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What makes a parent?

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 1:47 AM
  • 2 Replies
This is about a recent custody battle (ongoing) between a woman who adopted a child, her former partner, and the de facto parent decisions in NYC/NYS.

Long read, (It's the New Yorker BTW) but well written (doesn't take sides)

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/05/22/what-makes-a-parent
by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 1:47 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
oldproatthis
by Gold Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
It's actually quite tragic for the child, adults not letting go and breaking cleanly, attorney's openly wanting their place on the cover of law reviews at the expense of clients, and all the while a child's life stuck in the middle. One woman wanted to adopt. The other clearly was not all in. This particulate case should never go further. This issue mainly applies to the LBQT community considering adoption. The standard is entering into a plan with either them adoptive parent or bioparent to be a parent from the outset. In the case of a SP you don't. You marry a parent and if the other parent doesn't agree with you assuming their role, you're no where close to parent. You enter into a marriage as a SP, not parenthood. It's apples and oranges. If. Marriage to a parent ends, the step relationship ends. Will it hur, most likely. Will a protracted legal case and more adults fighting over the child and negotiating decision making over their lives hurt them, probably more.
Shabby_Chic
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 1:21 PM

Giving birth or adopting.  

As OldPro said, and I agree with her, once the relationship is over, if you didn't adopt/birth the child ,your relationship is over and dragging it out will only hurt the kids. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)