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SD stealing money from her mother and candy from a fundraiser

Posted by on Oct. 20, 2017 at 8:42 AM
  • 18 Replies
BM called DH a few weeks back, apparently SD stole money from her. DH got mad at BM and said, "you didn't see her, why are you blaming her, it could be her 5yo brother(bm''s kid from her current marriage)!" Bm's response was that SD also had candy wrapper bars in her back pack, so she probably took the money to pay for the candy. Dh thinks SD's friends gave her the candy.

Well fast forward to this week. Bm installed a camera. Now stole $40 from Bm's pursecaught on camera. Last night dh asked SD why she took the money. According to SD some keeps stealing candy from her fundraiser box from school, so she had to pay it back. Bm and dh both know she's the one stealing the candy from her own fundraiser box, since bm found all this candy wrappers in her back pack.

So now SD has stolen candy from the fundraiser, and stolen money from her own mother on 2 separate occasions. Of course SD is denying all of it, except for what was caught on camera.
by on Oct. 20, 2017 at 8:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
shiarhars
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 10:49 AM
Ummm how old is SD?
Quoting Butterfly228301: BM called DH a few weeks back, apparently SD stole money from her. DH got mad at BM and said, "you didn't see her, why are you blaming her, it could be her 5yo brother(bm''s kid from her current marriage)!" Bm's response was that SD also had candy wrapper bars in her back pack, so she probably took the money to pay for the candy. Dh thinks SD's friends gave her the candy. Well fast forward to this week. Bm installed a camera. Now stole $40 from Bm's pursecaught on camera. Last night dh asked SD why she took the money. According to SD some keeps stealing candy from her fundraiser box from school, so she had to pay it back. Bm and dh both know she's the one stealing the candy from her own fundraiser box, since bm found all this candy wrappers in her back pack. So now SD has stolen candy from the fundraiser, and stolen money from her own mother on 2 separate occasions. Of course SD is denying all of it, except for what was caught on camera.
Butterfly228301
by Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 10:54 AM
Almost 13 and in middle school
jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 11:06 AM

How long does SD have this fundraiser candy?  Any fundraising stuff around here is usually out for a week, 2 weeks TOPS (I hate the short turn around time we have here) but 'a few weeks back' sounds like no one is monitoring SD and her fundraising, and that's a lot of responsibility to hand a 12/13yo unless she's proven in tht past that she's up for this responsibility.  

So, I'm curious.  What did BM want BF to do about the theft in her own home under her own watch?  OR was she simply letting BF know about it?  What did BF say to his DD when she had to at least admit to what was caught on camera?  

hotspice58
by Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this

she needs therapy fast.  If she continues, she'll steal from the wrong person.  You and dh need to find out what's behind this.

Butterfly228301
by Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 11:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm pretty sure this was the last week for the fundraising. So that would be about 2 weeks. She may have 1 more week of fundraising.

Bm was letting dh know because she was taking SD's phone away as punishment.

Dh told SD he was disappointed that she took the money, that if she came to bm or him admiting to eating the candy and needing help to cover it, that they would be upset, but would help her out. But they wouldn't be as upset as they are now.

Quoting jules2boys:

How long does SD have this fundraiser candy?  Any fundraising stuff around here is usually out for a week, 2 weeks TOPS (I hate the short turn around time we have here) but 'a few weeks back' sounds like no one is monitoring SD and her fundraising, and that's a lot of responsibility to hand a 12/13yo unless she's proven in tht past that she's up for this responsibility.  

So, I'm curious.  What did BM want BF to do about the theft in her own home under her own watch?  OR was she simply letting BF know about it?  What did BF say to his DD when she had to at least admit to what was caught on camera?  

Butterfly228301
by Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 11:20 AM
I agree %100

Quoting hotspice58:

she needs therapy fast.  If she continues, she'll steal from the wrong person.  You and dh need to find out what's behind this.

Butterfly228301
by Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 2:44 PM
The worst part about it is, she won't admit il what actually happened. She is holding so tight with this lie. She's insistent that someone stole the candybars from her. Her school doesn't have lockers. It's not like her back is EVER turned from these candy bars. They are right there on her desk in each class, in her lap as she's on the bus. There is no way anyone could have stolen them from her without her knowledge. It's not far fetched for her to sneak eat either. Her mother made a birthday cake for her brother and left it on the counter. Well sd comes home from school way before anyone else gets there. And bm for some reason has a camera in the kitchen. Sd gets home and devours the entire 9x13 cake. It's not far fetched that she ate $40 worth of chocolate bars within 2 weeks. They are $2 a bar. That's roughly 5 bars each day, 2 in the morning bus ride to school, 1 at lunch with your friends 2 on the way home? Plus or minus some on the weekends... not impossible for her at all. Plus she could have given some to her friends.

All she would have had to do was admit her mistake and she would have been in so much less trouble from her mom. Dh isn't even doing anything about it, except he's moving everyone's (all the dds') wallets to a more secure location.
graceandpeace35
by New Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 8:30 PM

What a hard situation. Looks like intervention on some scale is needed. She needs to be monitered, with love. Make sure shes not using any drugs, as that is often what kids steal money for. See who shes hanging out with. Try to have them or, you , do more family things together. In the midst of her rebellion, show her love. May God bless you and keep you and give you wisdom and strength. He loves us like that! (John 3:16)

M

minimoo
by Platinum Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 11:37 PM
Has she acted out (stolen and lied) before or is this new behavior?
Butterfly228301
by Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 7:16 AM
We've been working on her lying habit for years. It's hard though because we are very open, but her mother is a liar. She'll le about the most trivial things. To my knowledge she's never stolen anything.

Quoting minimoo: Has she acted out (stolen and lied) before or is this new behavior?
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