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Can you believe this ---?

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2017 at 11:40 PM
  • 28 Replies
Mostly a vent and a OMYGAWD how can you be so STUPID BM type post.

So.. For those of you who remember, BM had all her kids taken away last year (BD1 is my husband, BD2 is drugstore cowboy) for DV and SA. DH has had custody since that time and it was made permanent for his two.

BM still has an open case for her youngest two ..I guess she's finally sober now --it looks like that case will end in two months. Good for her, those kids need her since BD2 is still married and owes CS for six other kids. He fled the state. BM told this to MIL so she told us for some reason.

She's working. It's enough to pay for her 2BD and get by ..

But check THIS shit out:

BM pays no CS. That doesn't phase me. However, DH still has CS taken from his check but they refund him whatever's left after him paying back what BM took from the state (BM was on assistance).

-her mom has cut her off completely.

-she refuses to go after BD2 or his family for help with the youngest (BD2 kids)

-well, BM had an audit from the welfare / PA people and she owes money (that money is coming out of DH checks like I said, or so we reckon).

-she texts DH, and I didn't believe it because no one would be that obtuse..: so he showed me...

she told DH that her Medicare and welfare benefits got cut off (for her) so she wants custody of the DH kids because she is hurting for money. I swear on my dead parents. She wants the other two back, because her benefits got cut off. She says she makes too much now, but if she makes the same amount with all four kids.. You feel me.

And was asking "so when do you want to do this , we can do this the same day I have court for the other two"

Also she texted "well, if you just put on the court paper work they live with me so I get the welfare and the EITC I will go easy on the CS for you and one of them can stay with you.."

So all this shit about being mother of the year.. And it comes down to money. I can't even believe the audacity that BM would ask him this, so nonchalantly. Like his kids are footballs he borrowed for a minute.

Don't get me started on the whole CS shit... It doesn't matter he has them full time, someone has to pay back the audit.: I believe it was 4000 extra she got from welfare, that has to be paid back.. Don't know how she's not in jail for that. Either way, I keep telling DH to sort it out because it's money that could go to his kids. Or not.

I'm still floored she would text this to DH. I was like " you better screenshot that shit." He's like "oh don't worry, it's backed up to google drive, the cloud, my HD.."

by on Nov. 8, 2017 at 11:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Yesterday at 3:25 PM
by Member on Nov. 8, 2017 at 11:44 PM
Wow. I hope it helps that someone listened.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 4:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow. Disgusting. :-(
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 5:17 AM
5 moms liked this
You are right, I can't believe that shit. What a p.o.s!
Dh should asap get that shit straightened out with the deductions from his pay. If they were not married during the over payment to bm, he is not liable for repayment. It does not matter that he is the father.
I can't believe that it had been a year that you guys have put up with that shit.
Get ahead of this before she attempts to take the kids.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 9:05 AM

Seriously, what kind of warped mind thinks that way? 

by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 10:17 AM
Wow. So, she basically wants her kids back to use them as a paycheck so she can receive welfare.
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 11:18 AM
1 mom liked this
It's unfathomable to me. I have to say, you seem pretty damned balanced about it. Hang on to that perspective. Don't let the crazy suck you in.

by Bronze Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 12:54 PM

Sadly, we have dealt with similar from BM; the judge negged that shit. 

by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 3:25 PM
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You've probably explained this before, many times (sorry), but does DH feel some sort of guilt over BM and that's why he's not changed anything about the CS in the last year?  Does he feel he 'owes' her this, somehow?  Is he afraid to 'rock the boat'?  I'd be all over him to get things changed, ASAP.  Cody is right, they weren't married, he doesn't 'owe' her or the state for any of this.  If she needs help, SHE can pay it back.  This is totally on her and he's still giving her money, and taking it from his kids, even after having full custody of them.  

The text is laughable.  How is he, will he, or did he respond to her? Please tell me he's not entertaining any of her ideas?  Please!  

And, if he's not willing to sort this out, can I get on his CS list too?  Please??!?  (sarcasm)  

by Bronze Member on Nov. 9, 2017 at 7:29 PM
Wow. Why hasn’t he gone to court to end cs? Why can’t she pay what she owes?
by Battler on Nov. 9, 2017 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
As far as I know, CS was automatic when BM applied for welfare. There was one modification that I know of, before I entered the picture, but that was for an increase when DH had a job with OT, and it's stayed the same all of these years later l, even with the change of custody.

I think the way it's set up now is BM is not CO to carry insurance or CS for DH's two.. DH would have to change it. Now they are saying he owes, which is bullshit, because the case is such a cluster fuck (four kids, two different dads, one case, now two separate cases). None of the agencies talk to each other.

I want DH at the very least to address why they think he owes, when they take it out of his check, give it to BM, kick it back to him- it's their fuck up. He's never been late or behind. It would be NICE if BM paid something, contributed to sports fees .. High school sports are not cheap. But that's not going to happen.

If he modifies the CS through court, she will fight for full custody. That's my guess, she doesn't see why she should pay anything if both DH and I are working.

Me, I just do the count down in my head. Four more years, four more years.... At least by then it won't be about dealing with HER financially. It will be dealing with the age of majority teens on their terms whatever it looks like then ..

Quoting Diva-Mami: Wow. Why hasn’t he gone to court to end cs? Why can’t she pay what she owes?
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