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How should I tell SD about pregnancy?

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2017 at 3:44 PM
  • 20 Replies
I'm very excited to be starting a family with my husband. I also know my SD will probably be excited. She has mentioned/requested/told us "I want a baby brother at my mom's house and a baby sister at my dad's house."
We're waiting until the 2nd trimester to tell her. We find out the gender xmas morning and we will tell her about the pregnancy a few days before.
Also we just found out her mom is in fact pregnant. She will deliver about 3 months ahead of me. I have a feeling this will be overwhelming for my SD. I plan on trying to get some kids books about new siblings.
I have read up on the best way to do this so I have a game plan in my head. But I'd love to hear any of your stories if you have them!
by on Nov. 26, 2017 at 3:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
progressandjoy
by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2017 at 5:42 PM
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How old is SD?

In hindsight, I wouldn't make it a big ordeal. The more build up there and suspense there is, the more emotional she'll be. If she's happy and excited, great! But if she feels upset, overwhelmed, or even indifferent, keeping it simple and brief won't leave a negative impression for everyone involved.

SS was 6, when I announced I was pregnant with ODD. He was completely put out when we told him the news, and had a bad attitude about having a sibling until the moment after ODD was born. It did hurt my feelings a bit.

Luckily, things were completely different when we announced I was pregnant with YDD. Both kids were excited.
Shabby_Chic
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2017 at 5:45 PM
3 moms liked this
Don t say you're starting a family with her dad in front of her. Not in front of him either, imo.

They are and were a family that you joined and your child will be part of an existing family.
codysara
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2017 at 11:44 PM
What facility is open on Christmas to tell you gender?
codysara
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2017 at 11:53 PM
1 mom liked this
But they are. If not for the child, if divorce occurs, they are not joined.

Quoting Shabby_Chic: Don t say you're starting a family with her dad in front of her. Not in front of him either, imo.

They are and were a family that you joined and your child will be part of an existing family.
codysara
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2017 at 11:57 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you mean intact family.. vs family of divorce.. the word family, hold different meanings.
Once divorced or seperated, you are. Not family. But you carry bloodlines.

Quoting Shabby_Chic: Don t say you're starting a family with her dad in front of her. Not in front of him either, imo.

They are and were a family that you joined and your child will be part of an existing family.
tiafez
by Platinum Member on Nov. 27, 2017 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

1st: Congratulations, how exciting. You must be over the moon!!


2nd: you can control how overwhelming it is for her. Dad knows her best, maybe he should take the lead and you can tell her together with him doing the gauging of her excitement, etc?

anonomomma
by Member on Nov. 27, 2017 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this
You don't tell a child your starting a new family with their Dad because your pregnant.

Quoting codysara: But they are. If not for the child, if divorce occurs, they are not joined.

Quoting Shabby_Chic: Don t say you're starting a family with her dad in front of her. Not in front of him either, imo.

They are and were a family that you joined and your child will be part of an existing family.
codysara
by Platinum Member on Nov. 27, 2017 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this
"We are adding a little brother or sister to the family "
"We are adding a new bundle of joy to the family "

It's really just about how you say it.

Quoting anonomomma: You don't tell a child your starting a new family with their Dad because your pregnant.

Quoting codysara: But they are. If not for the child, if divorce occurs, they are not joined.

Quoting Shabby_Chic: Don t say you're starting a family with her dad in front of her. Not in front of him either, imo.

They are and were a family that you joined and your child will be part of an existing family.
DesertVenus
by Member on Nov. 27, 2017 at 1:09 PM
She's 5, and has gone through the "we're gonna have a baby" thing with her mom already (twice, the first ended in mc). She has been excited about new babies both times. I'm sure our news will be well received.
I think it will be overwhelming later, when there is a newborn in both households.
I'm thinking to keep it light initially, but when the gender reveal comes that will let her get excited with us.

Quoting progressandjoy: How old is SD?

In hindsight, I wouldn't make it a big ordeal. The more build up there and suspense there is, the more emotional she'll be. If she's happy and excited, great! But if she feels upset, overwhelmed, or even indifferent, keeping it simple and brief won't leave a negative impression for everyone involved.

SS was 6, when I announced I was pregnant with ODD. He was completely put out when we told him the news, and had a bad attitude about having a sibling until the moment after ODD was born. It did hurt my feelings a bit.

Luckily, things were completely different when we announced I was pregnant with YDD. Both kids were excited.
DesertVenus
by Member on Nov. 27, 2017 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this
We're getting it a few days before but doing the official reveal with my immediate family Christmas morning.

Quoting codysara: What facility is open on Christmas to tell you gender?
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