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YOURS MINE AND OURS...

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Hi Ladies,

Does a blended family ever get past the "Yours, Mine and Ours"....

My husband and my family get along very well.

Me on the other hand, tolerate most of his family.

Any thoughts?


by on Dec. 11, 2017 at 9:12 PM
Replies (41-41):
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 7:51 AM

Don't try to understand her or her reasons, your husband should have better managed his mother though, if she values her own blood then he would have that influence to manage how she treated you. At the point, best to keep your distance from her and you don't have to explain yourself to her, don't make her acceptance any value to you.

Quoting Seychelles1409: My late FIL was a wonderful man; my MIL operates under the idea that blood is the only thing that matters, unless of course, it's her blood relatives who are being slighted. No one else's matter. I have stopped trying to fit in, be a part of her family or please her. I visit as little as l have to and never call her to chat or check in. I don't give her any personal information about myself or my family. The final straw came Christmas Eve when she asked me why l was selling items online. After explaining my reasons, she replied that my things must not be good enough for me anymore. That was the last insult l intend to take. She's told my best friend "yes, unfortunately she's my DIL," and l've never been rude or disrespectful to her. She's never gotten over the fact that DH remarried after his divorce and she lost her weekend visits with his kids while he worked. My fault l guess. She had hoped to keep himcand the kids all to herself.
Quoting leegirl_jm:

It is possible they aren't used to stepfamily or have a negative view of them and so it is difficult to embrace a step-relation as they would blood family. 

Quoting Seychelles1409:

Most definitely and she does a selfless and very good job of doing so.   

Quoting leegirl_jm: Well, seems natural to favor the one who takes care of you.
Quoting Seychelles1409: No, DH's sister also had a child. All three grandchildren are adults: 26, 29, and 32. DH's niece lives nearby and takes care of MIL so she is the favorite.
Quoting leegirl_jm:

Are your husband's children your MIL's only grandchildren?

Quoting Seychelles1409:

I'd say your views are about the same as mine.   My family adores my husband; my son worships him, followed him in the same career and considers him his dad.   I think it's much easier for the wife's family to accept her husband than it is for the husband's family to accept the new wife, at least that has been my experience.   The former wife was the mother of MIL's grandchildren---the perfect children.   My son is not really her family and because I don't have a child with my husband to connect me to the family, I am not really family either in my MIL's view.   MIL is always watching out for her grandkids even though they are adults to the point that my husband and I are really both the outsiders.   It's weird.



Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

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