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My husband has four children from a former marriage.  The second one, a daughter, completely controls him and always has.  She has three children, ages 1,2 and 3.  They moved in with us for a year.  While here my husband gave her all my passwords.  She then went to my sites, listed my contacts and messaged them horrible stuff about me.  She then smashed my computer.  She threw out any of our food that she didn't think we should have and she constantly stoled money from her dad.  She has screamed at me that she told her dad not to marry me.  When she moved out I asked for our house key back.  This is when the real trouble began.  She was furious that she no longer had the ability to mess with our belongings.  She told horrible stories about me to her siblings so I am not included in any family doings.  My husband had Thanksgiving and Christmas with them while I stayed home.  A little background......his children have never been told no.  They have always gotten whatever they wanted.  This girl was driving her dad's car as an unlicensed teenager because she told him to let her.  Nothing has been denied her except that she didn't want us to marry.  She is 32 years old now and still controlling her dad.  She will have him babysit for hours while she is out having fun and she has told her dad that I am not to be told that he is doing this so I sit at home worried about why he didn't come home.  I am seeing a couselor about this but I know that if the daughter found out that he would not be allowed to attend with me.   To make things clear.  I didn't break up his first marriage.  They were already divorsed when we met.  And, his first wife left him for another man.  Please any advise would be welcome.

by on Dec. 27, 2017 at 2:23 PM
Replies (31-33):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 12:04 PM
Of course it is hard. I stayed in a 20 year marriage because it was too hard to leave. Wasted years.

Quoting Seychelles1409: We always know the right thing to do; the hard part is doing it.

Quoting pdxmum: Girl. You know what to do. He sucks.
Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 6:18 PM
Good wishes for 2018 that you will have the courage to make the decisions best for you.

Quoting pdxmum: Of course it is hard. I stayed in a 20 year marriage because it was too hard to leave. Wasted years.

Quoting Seychelles1409: We always know the right thing to do; the hard part is doing it.

Quoting pdxmum: Girl. You know what to do. He sucks.
MonarchMom22
by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 6:22 PM

My advice - change all passwords to any accounts, or close the accounts.  Make sure all your financial accounts are separate from DH until you get this sorted out.  Change the locks on the house and install a Ring or security camera so you know if she tries to enter.  Document all your personal possessions with video or photos and be prepared to press charges if she tampers with anything again.  And be sure to run a credit check on yourself and DH to make sure she isn't using you ID to run up CC bills.

After you have done these things to secure your life, then you can start thinking about why he lets this happen and does not protect you.  Listen to what he says in counseling - you will have some big decisions to make about what you want for the rest of your life.

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