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No Winter Boots--neglect? reportable?

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 12:00 PM
  • 30 Replies

My granddaughter (11 years old) is visiting for the holidays from South Dakota--her Dad and stepmom sent her up with a pair of cowboy boots.  Nothing else.   It's was -22 in MN yesterday and not expected to get above zero in the next few days.   I texted her Dad if she *forgot* her winter boots and I believe it is the sm that answered "she has a pair that fits but they have a hole in the bottom--honestly, she is very hard on boots".

I'm sure they just bought her a cheap pair--there are 4 kids in the household and he pays support on another one.  There are always 'issues' within the household---cps has been involved in the past and they are currently living in a 'friends basement' because they had "toxic mold" in their trailer.   

I went and bought her a pair of warm boots and a spare pair of sneakers.

Should I contact their social worker on this?   I am on good terms with him, as I had visitations set up through him when the kids were removed last year due to abuse on a younger child.  If she hadn't come up, we wouldn't have known about the issue and she would be freezing for the rest of the winter!

Edited to add:  my attorney always says "poverty is not a barrier to custody" but I feel it is neglect!!  

by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 12:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 12:33 PM
What outcome are you hoping for?
Sams8monkies
by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't consider it neglect. My older kids rarely wear winter boots, they usually only wear hiking shoes.
paigea
by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I live in Alberta, winter can be vicious. Many people don't wear boots as they just go from warm building to warm car to warm building. So, while no boots is not ideal, not neglect IMHO

Wool socks in cowboy boots would be fairly warm.
WrongWayDiva
by Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 12:47 PM

Realistically, that her Dad and sm get their poop in a group and actually provide for their kids.......

Alternatively, I could take temp custody for a few months until they are back on their feet.   

Quoting pdxmum: What outcome are you hoping for?


Leigh84
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I can’t imagine calling the social worker over a pair of boots. I would have just bought the boots and be done w/it.
happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 2:38 PM

Is this your son's child? Who neglected the kids in the past? I guess I'm a little lost. Would you take all the kids or just this one?

WrongWayDiva
by Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 4:51 PM

Sorry, it's complicated.  This is my daughter's oldest child--she lost custody of her 6 years ago, due to addiction issues.  I am raising her 6 year old daughter.   

The father won custody of the older one over me and was doing well for awhile (past addiction issues).  He has since fathered a son with another woman, married another woman (who had a child of her own) and they have a set of twins together.

All the children were removed last year, due to neglect and abuse allegations on the wife's child (not related to me).  They were placed with a family friend who got licensed to do foster care.  I had regular visits but CPS would not allow me to take custody of my grandchild--I would have had to take all 4, which is not in the best interests of the children and I just cannot do it.   

My daughter is 2 years sober, but had another child (yes, that's 3 kids, 3 different fathers) this summer that she is raising.   She sees her other children but is not ready to parent full time.

I hate that my GD is the *kid without....*  no winter boots, no picture money, no sports, etc etc etc.   I help out when I can, but rarely get the whole story.   I think she is better off with me, where she is well taken care of, rather than being raised by a welfare king/queen who are mooching off friends and neglecting their kids.  No home, no car, she isn't working, he is roofing for cash sometimes.   So trashy...   

Quoting happinessforyou:

Is this your son's child? Who neglected the kids in the past? I guess I'm a little lost. Would you take all the kids or just this one?


tiafez
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 5:24 PM

No boots is not neglect. Unfortunately unless a court decides the children are at risk, you are helpless in this. And even if the court does, they won't want to pull the children apart. 


happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2017 at 5:47 PM
2 moms liked this

That just sounds so sad. Do you think he would let this DD come and live with you and her sister? I feel so bad for all the kids involved in these types of situations... GL

Quoting WrongWayDiva:

Sorry, it's complicated.  This is my daughter's oldest child--she lost custody of her 6 years ago, due to addiction issues.  I am raising her 6 year old daughter.   

The father won custody of the older one over me and was doing well for awhile (past addiction issues).  He has since fathered a son with another woman, married another woman (who had a child of her own) and they have a set of twins together.

All the children were removed last year, due to neglect and abuse allegations on the wife's child (not related to me).  They were placed with a family friend who got licensed to do foster care.  I had regular visits but CPS would not allow me to take custody of my grandchild--I would have had to take all 4, which is not in the best interests of the children and I just cannot do it.   

My daughter is 2 years sober, but had another child (yes, that's 3 kids, 3 different fathers) this summer that she is raising.   She sees her other children but is not ready to parent full time.

I hate that my GD is the *kid without....*  no winter boots, no picture money, no sports, etc etc etc.   I help out when I can, but rarely get the whole story.   I think she is better off with me, where she is well taken care of, rather than being raised by a welfare king/queen who are mooching off friends and neglecting their kids.  No home, no car, she isn't working, he is roofing for cash sometimes.   So trashy...   

Quoting happinessforyou:

Is this your son's child? Who neglected the kids in the past? I guess I'm a little lost. Would you take all the kids or just this one?


tbabys
by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I would be more concerned over all of them living in a friend's basement. Boots can easily be purchased and sent home with her. Ask her what else she might need, not necessarily wants but need and get those for her. It will help them out and you know she is taken care of.
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