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It's Just Ice Cream

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2017 at 12:35 AM
  • 7 Replies
I know it's just ice cream but I need to tell my frustration to others who will listen and understand. SD14 was supposed to be home yesterday. We had to track her down and pick her up today. This was after she had told us the house she would be at, when she was coming back, and who was driving. Her dad was all mad talking about consequences. I'm hopeful but not holding my breath. I still continue giving him my attention and letting him talk about it. After he picks her up she asks for ice cream from the store. He says no. She asks again and again. Now he says he will think about it. She asks me and I say no. For at least the next half hour to forty five minutes in 5 minute increments or less she is still nagging about getting her ice cream and he is still letting it go in circles. I'm not even over exaggerating. Finally i say i dont want to hear ice cream anymore. I said I'm sick of it. I went to another room and shut the door. My fiance, her dad has to go to the grocery store. He takes her with him. What do you think he bought? Ice cream. Im not mad at her. Its not just ice cream either. It makes me angry and sad that he thinks he is being nice and doing her a favor when he gives into her but it doesn't win any points and how can she look up to him when he is such a push over? I know in the end it's none of my business but I figure if we live together and I have to listen to it, I get a say on it. I could be way off, it's just how I feel right now.
by on Dec. 30, 2017 at 12:35 AM
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Replies (1-7):
fantasticfour
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 1:50 AM

I don't see how you don't get a say in something that goes on in your house.  You care about your fiance, then you should sit him down when something like this isn't happening and explain to him that giving into her all the time like that is just teaching her to continue this behavior because she knows he will give in.  Not only that, but like you said, how can someone look up to someone they can push around?

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 8:27 AM

Sadly he (and she) knew he'd give in when he allowed the scond ask. Talk to him, be blunt. Then let him choose his path in it. It may never change, it may be a pattern he won't stp. But you deserve to have your say. 

Shabby_Chic
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 2:11 PM

You're right, it's "just" ice cream.  To him, no big deal.  To me, no big deal.  I'd seriously not had used that as my hill to die on over the lie.  There would be other punishments, ones that fit the crime more than not having ice cream. 

anonomomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 3:05 PM
The ice cream situation was just the symptom of a larger family. How much of this do you really want to be involved in? At the end of the day your Sk's parents are responsible for their upbringing. When DH does things I don't agree with or would have done differently I have to step back mentally. He is a good dad though, I couldn't have married someone who was very different from me in parenting. Marriage is hard enough as it is without adding the extra stress of fighting about our kids.
pusheen-kitty
by Battler on Dec. 30, 2017 at 9:03 PM
Well no, it's not just ice cream, he's rewarding her for bad behavior and ordering him around- and he jumps.

I'd be verklempt at it too. He's a weak parent. His kid runs the show. I'd start making boundaries of my own, frankly.
pusheen-kitty
by Battler on Dec. 30, 2017 at 9:06 PM
Here's the thing though- if you don't have kids of your own, or kids with your husband, how do you know how they parent in all situations? And that it would differ from yours? Sometimes you just don't know.

Quoting anonomomma: The ice cream situation was just the symptom of a larger family. How much of this do you really want to be involved in? At the end of the day your Sk's parents are responsible for their upbringing. When DH does things I don't agree with or would have done differently I have to step back mentally. He is a good dad though, I couldn't have married someone who was very different from me in parenting. Marriage is hard enough as it is without adding the extra stress of fighting about our kids.
anonomomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 9:27 PM
Well some people talk about those things and in the Ops situation I suppose she is learning that through observation as they live together but are not married yet.

Quoting pusheen-kitty: Here's the thing though- if you don't have kids of your own, or kids with your husband, how do you know how they parent in all situations? And that it would differ from yours? Sometimes you just don't know.

Quoting anonomomma: The ice cream situation was just the symptom of a larger family. How much of this do you really want to be involved in? At the end of the day your Sk's parents are responsible for their upbringing. When DH does things I don't agree with or would have done differently I have to step back mentally. He is a good dad though, I couldn't have married someone who was very different from me in parenting. Marriage is hard enough as it is without adding the extra stress of fighting about our kids.
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