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In hindsight now that you are a SM, would that have changed your desicion to marry DH??

by on Feb. 3, 2018 at 2:50 PM
Replies (11-19):
jad1027
by Member on Feb. 5, 2018 at 5:39 PM

Did you except it to be harder? Easier?

Quoting CampHarris:

Nope.  I married him knowing part of that would be the SM part.


CampHarris
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2018 at 11:54 AM

We lived together for almost four years by the time we got married, so I knew what I was getting into.  It's no harder or easier than I expected.  The kids are awesome, we've always gotten along like gangbusters.  Their mom is the only thing that makes it hard at times because she despises the fact that I exist despite her and my husband being divorced for almost a decade when I came along.  

Quoting jad1027:

Did you except it to be harder? Easier?

Quoting CampHarris:

Nope.  I married him knowing part of that would be the SM part.



bbier
by Member on Feb. 12, 2018 at 7:38 PM
Wow that’s a really hard question, I do hope that in time being a step parent will pay off. I had amazing step parents that loved me so much and were like bio parents to me, so it disappoints me that she won’t even try. I would not have changed my decision based off the kids and being a sp alone, but in hindsite if I would have known my husbands excuses and lack of disabling would have affected my son I would have reconsidered. My son will always need me and he will always be my number 1, and I expect my husband to put his kids first as well and sometimes that means being tough.

Quoting jad1027:

In hindsight now that you are a SM, would that have changed your desicion to marry DH??

Boobear110
by Audra on Feb. 12, 2018 at 9:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, I am not married but have been with him close to 10 years but the answer is no. I wouldn’t have change my decision.

If we ever split there would be no way that I would date a man with young children again. My kids were much older and my youngest was at that age where I could eave her alone for a time but Sd was not quite 3!  I started over 

BabyTbaby2
by Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 2:11 AM
No. if I knew then everything that I know now, I would have acted and reacted differently, I wouldn't have tried to play mother or be very active in my stepdaughter's life, but I would still marry him. He has improved my life so incredibly much. The only thing we ever disagree about is his daughter and money spent on her.
I love my husband so much and I still believe he is the man that was meant for me. He's so amazingly wonderful. I can deal with BM/SD crap. I would not want to live without him.
Bertieb
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 10:09 AM

I expected it to be easier, but I would still have married him. I would not remarry now if something happened unless the man had grown and settled, financially independent children who suppported the marriage; and he would have to be pretty close to perfect:)

LadyDyanna
by Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 12:33 PM

Honestly, I think I probaly would have. However, If we were to get divorced I really don't think I'll marry a man with younger kids, or adult children that want to control his life. My advise to any woman that doesn't have children and in a relationship with a man that has children, and/or DRAMA with Ex..... Run and don't marry him.

Msandersen06
by New Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 1:15 PM
Absolutely not! Do I sometimes wish we'd have met sooner so didn't have to deal with his crazy ex girlfriend? Oh for sure but won't let her jealous antics destroy us. And I love his girls and my children love them as well so we couldnt even imagine our life without them in it.
Eternity807
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 3:04 PM

Most definitely!  I would never have gone on that first date.  But my situation was a little different than most.  BM2 was 6 months pregnant and they were waiting on the result of a paternity test when I met DH.  Turns out he was the father and I have been in SS6's life since shortly after he was born.

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