:( had to put down my baby

My beautiful boy Desi (named after Desi Arnez.. his former girlfriend was Lucy) was put to sleep on 11/20/08. This is the first I can talk about it. I miss him so much.

My Desi came to me about 2 years ago after being the pet of a good friend of mine that moved to Florida and could not take him along. He had a tumor growing on one of his paws that made it difficult for him to walk. We didn't want to spend $400 on surgery, so we did like they would on the farms.. and elastic-ed it until it fell off. From then on Desi was perfect. I figured him to be about 4, but he was fat and lazy and oh so loveable. He was scared to jump from high places, so when I put him in bed with me he'd cuddle up in the blankets and stay there all night. Such a sweet boy. He loved to cuddle with my nephews (who I watched in my home) and never gave me any trouble.

I moved a year later, and he went to stay with my dad for a while. His friend Dimitri went with him, and I kept the rascal, Clifford. I always missed my Desi, but he was nearby at my dads house and I visited him all the time. He was happy.. still crazy fat.. and slept a lot, but was still his loveable self when let out of the cage. He had new friends and was doing very well.

Well about a month ago my dad moved, and he gave Desi and Dimitri back to me. I still had Clifford, and a little whirlwind named Mira. I ended up having to find a new home for Mira because she bit my DD, but the others had been exposed to children before and I knew there would be no problems. Desi was okay for about 2 weeks, and then he started getting really skinny. I took him to the vet, they did xrays.. couldn't find a blockage or any reason for his losing weight. My little tub o lard had turned into a skinny old man. They told me that he was really over 8 years old, which was a little bit of a surprise, and that while they were sure there was something wrong, they wouldn't be able to find out what without more, very expensive, testing.. and there probably wasn't much we could do anyways. So I took him home to wait it out. We made him as comfy as possible giving him his own space in the office room where I spend most of my day. He came out a few times, wandered around before going back to bed. He stopped eating and I had to feed him sugar water from a syringe. I knew he was fading, but I wasn't ready to let him go yet.

Last week was the worst. He didn't eat anything, only drank a sip of water at a time and wouldn't open his mouth for the syringe. He slept all day, woke up only to look at you sideways and crawl back under the sheets. He lost total control of his hind legs and never left his corner. I was very sad, but on Thursday I decided I couldn't watch him like that anymore. There was no play left in him, no signs of that curious little snuggler.. and I knew the end was drawing near. I decided to have him put down on Friday.. but in a strange twist of fate my sister called and said they had no customers on Thursday, and she would pay the part of the euthanization fee that I could not yetafford because I didn't get paid till friday. So I took him in, and had him put down.

I can't talk about being in that room while he slipped into a coma. All I can say is thanks to the people at South windsor vet who helped me through this hard time. My sister works there... and without her I don't think I could have done it.

Desi will be buried this evening in our backyard, under our tree. I will miss him very much, and I think of him every time I pass the empty cage in the basement.