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Are we too cheap?

Posted by on Oct. 17, 2012 at 10:16 PM
  • 28 Replies

My daughter hates shopping with me,  weird for a girl. She know that everytime she asks for something I'll say only if it's on sale.  I shop by sale ads and can tear up a clearence rack.  I feel bad sometimes cuz she wants to get new name brand stuff but I can't justify spending a bunch of money for clothes she'll outgrow soon.  I tell her to look for half off tags at  goodwill and sometimes buy a size or two bigger so she can wear next season or grow into.  Am I to cheap?

by on Oct. 17, 2012 at 10:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
suziejax
by Suzie on Oct. 17, 2012 at 10:26 PM
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Your are a furgal momma and should be proud! 

Kids have to learn money doesn't grow on trees!

ReesesPieces
by on Oct. 17, 2012 at 10:29 PM
4 moms liked this

I think that frugal can cost too much.  I say this because at some point you do have to give in and splurge on new things - especially for your kids who care about those things.  Sure, you may be out $50-100 a year for several new items, but if it keeps the peace, shows your daughter that on occasion you CAN splurge, and not turning her completely off of being frugal - it's worth it.   Growing up I never got new clothes (until I got a job and bought my own clothes) and it was embarassing.  No one else probably cared, but I did!  Oh how I cared!  That's why I went crazy and went into debt buying clothes and new things when I got on my own.  Even now, I refuse to let my kids wear 2nd hand clothes to school.  I just won't do it.  I let them play in 2nd hand clothes, hang out around the house in them, etc....but I won't let them wear them to school.   Perhaps I wouldn't be quite so bad if my mom would have bought me a new shirt - or a few new shirts - every now and again.

There are ways you can get brand new clothes for less.  You just have to wait until it goes on sale, then scour for a coupon or an additional promo code (for online or in store) and then you get quite the deal.

jbyrd898
by Jessica on Oct. 18, 2012 at 6:07 AM

I think it is great to be frugal, but to Clarisse's point, if she is going to wear it all the time that it might be worth it to splurge. Sometimes I think of things as a cost per wear, so If I am going to wear shoes for a few years and can a whole lot more out of them it is worth it. You can also maybe help her find that name brand stuff she wants by using ebay too, a lot of time you get find good deals there.

MunchiesMom324
by Member on Oct. 18, 2012 at 6:27 AM

I had to ask myself that same question... I took the kids to a local festival/fair, made sure to budget out money for rides/food/etc (they didn't know that).  Most of the rides were one ticket (one dollar).  One "ride" - a giant bungee thing, was 7 tickets (seven dollars)!!  It's OK, because I had enough with me for them to do it.  I handed the tickets to my oldest and said "Ok, go get in line!".  Two minutes later, he was by my side, handing me the tickets back.

"Mom, that's a waste of seven tickets.  I could ride seven rides for the price of just this one.  I don't think I want to do it."

He's 9!  Turns out, the guys running the inflatable things (what my kids wanted to play on) were letting them go w/o tickets... so we wound up doing the bungee thing anyway.  I told them "I know it may seem like a lot, but we are here to have fun.  Let's not worry about tickets, and go play!!"

michiganmom116
by Gold Member on Oct. 18, 2012 at 7:03 AM

I grew up in a frugal household.  I had to wear clothes that were not in style, hand-me-downs, and I never had brand name things.  Sometimes it's important for a child's self-esteem to "fit in", and other girls can be cruel to someone that doesn't.  Yeah, I experienced that.

If you're being frugal 100% of the time yet have the money to buy a few new things, then yes...you're being cheap.  If you're being frugal because you just don't have the money, period...that's being wise.  Your DD can understand that.

Why not buy something she really wants in a size she can wear now and give it to her as a gift?  We do that with our DD.  That way she gets a few new things along with her secondhand/clearance clothing and appreciates their value. 

MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Oct. 18, 2012 at 7:30 AM

I don't see a problem with it but my kids are younger,I know as they get older it is important to fit in and be fashionable. I don't think you should spend every dime on your kids clothes but it is nice to spoil them sometimes.

deedee3849
by Deanne on Oct. 18, 2012 at 7:58 AM
1 mom liked this

Growing up I had a budget for clothing and I could buy what I wanted. If I chose expensive things I got less. It was up to me. Of course my mom would monitor to make sure I got enough for school and didn't make frivolous choices but I was permitted to buy some things I really wanted at regular price. I also saved my own money so I could buy things I wanted. So, I think a combo of both is good...A few new non sale things mixed with sale stuff.

momto3isme
by Dawn on Oct. 18, 2012 at 8:08 AM
I don't think so if you are then I am to since I do the same thing.
Greekmama21
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this

Too cheap if you can afford it, maybe? If you can't afford new or mall prices- no. 

I am cheap. I am frugal. However, I will splurge on a new dress or sweater if I love it more than everything else in the store. Even if it's not on sale. When you wear something it impacts your self esteem and how you feel that day. Do I love shopping clearance and sale racks? Yes, I do and I head to those first. Do I try to teach the value of a dollar to my daughters by going to consignment shops? Yes, I do. 

I buy clothes big for next season. This includes pajamas, t-shirts which are a thinner fit, etc. but never real clothes. If the clothes look baggy, they probably wont love the fit and wont feel great about themselves. 

I know it seems like a lot to not shop sale racks but please realize she is a person and needs to feel good in what she wears. If you are constantly telling her to buy something she doesn't love she probably sees shopping with you as a punishment and she probably doesn't love the wardrobe she has. 

A few other ideas. 

Don't take her to Goodwill. As a teen/ tween (I'm guessing) there is probably a good shot she wont want to shop there. Look for some upscale consignment shops instead which will have the name brands and wont be "Goodwill." 

If you can afford it, give her one splurge under a certain amount every few trips. It doesn't have to be each time but I'm sure it would feel special to her. 

Maybe give her opportunities to earn her own money and let her spend it how she chooses. Once my mom had me earn my money and I held it in my hands I realized I didn't care nearly as much about fashion as I had thought. In fact, I was the first to tear through a sale rack or clearance rack. 

sweetmissy_05
by Member on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:04 AM
No frugal is awesome!! We are the same way.
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