Welcome to the Club

Getting New Moms Adjusted to Mommyhood One Step at a Time

Group Home

Im at my wits end!!!!!!

Posted by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 7:29 PM
  • 14 Replies

 So Im am so sick of this. I tell him we have 10 bucks for the next week and he goes and spends 20. This has happened time and time again Ilove this man but I will never have a house or a vacation if I stay with him. He just wont stop spending he only thinks about what he is doing right now..., I budget he spends then I fix the budget. well I cant fix it now There is no money 2 things are gonna bounce and cost us 80 bucks that we dont have. And of course he thinks I should call my dad who actually works, his doesnt his fiance does and her money goes to her kid not his. Do I seriously need to take his debit card away and hide the checks???!???!?!!?!?! I dont want to be that controlling I just want him to care about what needs to  be done financially......

What do I do? Money is tight we could just make it but he wont stop!!!!

 

by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 7:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
michiganmom116
by Gold Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 7:55 PM
2 moms liked this

YES!  TAKE AWAY HIS DEBIT CARD AND CHECKBOOK!  Give him an allowance and THAT IS IT for the week.  If he prefers to act like a child and not take responsibility for his financial actions, then he should be treated like a child.

Is he not on board with saving money?  Do you have a visual of a goal (writing, picture, anything)?  Does he sit down with you and go over bills and/or budget every paycheck?

aidansmommy219
by Gold Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:33 PM

uh yea...take that stuff away. I refused to put my dh on my bank account for that exact reason. He was constantly overdrawing back accounts we had because he couldn't NOT spend..sometimes that's what has to be done. He threw a big fit about not having access, me not trusting him, blah blah blah...but ya know what..my account isn't constantly being overdrawn and the bills are getting paid so I didn't feel bad and he got over it.

suziejax
by Suzie on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:40 PM

my husband is same way so he gets an allowance. And he has his own sperate checking account to put his play money in lol IT WORKS !

breezysmom05
by Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 10:43 PM

I have a friend that has a checking account that her husband is on but his name isn't on the checks and he doesn't  have a debit card. He gets paid gives her x amount for bills, groceries etc. The rest is his until next  payday but he has to use it for gas and whatever else he needs or wants. Works great for them. He's learned to not carry all his money with him so he doesn't spend it all and then nothing bounces

conniejo75
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 10:52 PM
When I was married we each got a set amount each payday that we could spend however we wanted (we each had a savings account in just our own name.) The rest went into joint account for bills that only I had access to (his name was on account but not on checks)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dani0007
by New Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:52 PM

wow thanks gals youve been helpful. i dont want to be his keeper but this is what i gotta do i guess..... I have tried to get him to understenad the bills by doing the bills with me but he just gets mad.....

Stevensmomma
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Quoting michiganmom116:

YES!  TAKE AWAY HIS DEBIT CARD AND CHECKBOOK!  Give him an allowance and THAT IS IT for the week.  If he prefers to act like a child and not take responsibility for his financial actions, then he should be treated like a child.

Is he not on board with saving money?  Do you have a visual of a goal (writing, picture, anything)?  Does he sit down with you and go over bills and/or budget every paycheck?

I would have to agree with you on this !

ReesesPieces
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 10:22 PM
Agree 100%


Quoting michiganmom116:

YES!  TAKE AWAY HIS DEBIT CARD AND CHECKBOOK!  Give him an allowance and THAT IS IT for the week.  If he prefers to act like a child and not take responsibility for his financial actions, then he should be treated like a child.

Is he not on board with saving money?  Do you have a visual of a goal (writing, picture, anything)?  Does he sit down with you and go over bills and/or budget every paycheck?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
singlemom264
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 12:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Open your own account and take care of you and your kids. DO NOT let him spend the money you earned on things that your family doesn't need. Let him call you controlling: you ARE controlling your finances and good for you.


yvonne37
by Yvonne on Nov. 27, 2012 at 6:04 AM
1 mom liked this

 The first thing I would do is open a separate account only under my name (savings) and not touch it or tell him about it. Start putting in there whatever... and i mean WHATEVER extra money I can scratch.  Second I would sit with him and show him in paper our budget, men need that visual effect, then explain to him, this is for bills, this is for food, this is for savings and this is for you(that was not a typo lol) and I would tell him... "i dont know about you, but I have goals in life" so from now on we are going to go CASH BABY! ... so I would give him lets say $30 dollars a week and tell him.. "here, survive on this for the week".  Like Rhonda said.. act like a child, be treated like one. 

After a while, when you guys are able to buy nice things, get a house or go on a vacation.. he will appreciate it.

man i got lucky with my husband, he works, his check is deposited directly into our account but he never uses the money unless he asks me, and I manage it all... works for us because he does not have to worry and I have control.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advertisement
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN