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How do you tell your teens that they can't have something?

Posted by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:29 AM
  • 24 Replies

 We have three teens, a foster daughter 13, DD 18 and DS 17. Sometimes I have a really hard time telling them "no" they can't have something. Sometimes it's something small like body and bath stuff at the grocery store. They love the liquid soap, but it adds up. They go through a bottle in like a week. My New Year's resolution is to get on a budget and really stick to it. How do you explain to them that they can't have something without causing a scene?


have a nice day

by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:29 AM
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by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:36 AM
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Give them an allowance and tell them they can use that to buy those things.  It'll probably be cheaper and result in less anguish than just telling them no, and they'll get the added bonus of learning how to manage their spending cash.

by Member on Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:38 AM

 I agree with the PP said to have them use their own money and just explain to them that sometimes its just not in the budget. They are old enough now to understand that.

by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:43 AM

I also like the idea of giving them an allowance and letting them buy it themselves. Also, stick to what you say. If you give in after they beg....they will always try to get their way by begging and having an attitude. They only stop trying that method when they learn it doesn't ever work. A reminder prior to going to the store that if they want that stuff they have to buy it themselves is a good way to set some limits.

by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 1:27 PM

at that age they should have some money of their own to budget to get those things if they wish then its out of your budget

by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 10:59 PM

I think an allowance is a great idea

by Jocelynn on Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:09 PM
1 mom liked this
At this age, a simple no and that should be the end of it...I cant imagine they would cause a scene when you said no...
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 11:18 AM

 You need to get them involved in the budget process. They need to see that money is tight. They might even surprise you with ways to save on the budget in exchange for some of the things they would like. I know of one family who's electric bill was outrageous. The kids all pitched in and slashed it by a third and they used the savings for a movie night.

by Nikki on Dec. 27, 2012 at 11:22 AM

I like the idea if an allowance

by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:31 PM

Start when they're in preschool? My five year old already understands that I'm not going to buy everything she asks for. There have been a couple of "scenes," but if she throws a fit or something at the store as a teenager, she will soon be throwing her fit in some kind of reform school.

I agree with the PPs - give them the money you would spend on them for necessities, let them budget and spend it themselves, and let them get a job if they want more. Even the 13 year old is old enough to babysit, or walk dogs, or rake lawns, or something. I bet they'll be less wasteful when they're using "their" money to buy soap and things, too.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:46 AM

Dont have that issue yet- but the ones that are old enough can get a job. The youngest can do work outside of their own chores to earn money. 

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