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The Family Piggy Bank The Family Piggy Bank

Getting hubby to follow the budget/envelope system...

Posted by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 4:41 PM
  • 24 Replies

My DH is amazing, seriously I really cannot complain about him at all.  The only thing is spending, and it's not even anything big or worth complaining about really.  I just wonder what you all think or if you have any other ideas...

We use our debit card/bank account for just about everything.  Once in a great while I use my credit card.  But typically, it's cash or nothing.  We use an envelope for our 'spending money' which is $260/month, this is just for me or DH to buy a coffee, stop at McDonald's, etc.  DH chews skoal so he uses cash for that as well.  We had decided $30/wk was enough for each of us for this purpose, so the $260 should be plenty.  Oh, we also pay the kids allowance with whatever cash we have (so that is another $10 a week-they each get $5 a week).  I don't spend nearly $30 a week.  I try to get the cash all in tens so DH will usually just take a ten and he tends to spend less than if he had a twenty.  When the cash is gone for the month (I get the check in the mail once a month and cash that, it's exactly the same and comes around the same time each month) he just uses the debit card.

The $2 and $1 debits drive me crazy!  They add up so fast and it's harder for me to keep track, it's really not a huge deal, it just annoys me.  And I feel like we aren't saving anything when we do these constant mini debits.  So I really try to not use the cash and just leave it for him.  But he will still end up using the debit card for these stupid little purchases.

I can't tell him not to.  I am not working for the summer (possibly longer) and he works a job he hates for not great money just to support us.  I cannot complain or tell him he can't stop and get a coffee (he mostly brings coffee, but once in a while buys one) or skoal or a burger if he's starving. 

So what do you do?  Do you complain?  Do you hide some of the money and put it out less at a time where he sees it so he doesn't spend it as fast?  Do you just let him do what he wants?  Do you take more cash out?

by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 4:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amandac4s
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Well we are in the same boat as you all. We don't have an envelope system but we use our debit cards for everything and I am a SAHM. What generally happens is if I have extra money I try to hide it so dh can get cigarettes during the payday or what ever we need.
morning_glories
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:14 AM

 I have the same issue with the small debit charges. I have tried to do the cash thing and just have him take from the cash bin, but he always forgets and ends up using the debit (if he has it I try to hord it) or worse, the Visa. I compain but he says "I know, I know, I just forget" Ugh, forgetful hubby's, lol. I also don't work in the summer, I am a substitute teacher for now. Hopefully now that I have graduated I will get a real teaching job in the fall to help solve all of our money problems. But I have devoted this summer to figuring out a workable budget.

I should start putting $10 at a time in his wallet. Maybe that will solve the forgetful problem, lol.

We smoke cigarettes, I can quit no problem and be fine all day without one then he comes home and I just crave. Cigarettes are our biggest issue. If I can just get the will power to stay quit maybe he will follow my example and we can save $80 a week. But it is hard. I wish I never started this nasty habit.

TJandKarasMom
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I subbed for two years!  Then the past three years I worked as a para.  I love my job, but the pay is ridiculous.  I was working on my MEd, and trying to get a job teaching Special Ed (which I am qualified for now)...but this year I watched the common core being implemented and saw some troubles my kids have been having (not because of CCSS) and I completely switched gears.  I am now planning to homeschool both of my kids starting this fall.  It would be hard to work the school day and homeschool them so I am looking for a part time job doing something different. 

Smoking is so expensive.  We live with my MIL who smokes and I swear if we didn't live here, she wouldn't be able to smoke because she wouldn't have us to pay part of the bills so she could buy cigarettes!   I can't believe how expensive they are.  Think about what that $80 a week could do!

If you put the money in his wallet, then he wouldn't forget!  My DH tries, but when the money is gone it's gone and I really can't tell him he's not "allowed" to use the debit card.  Soon it will be only his money in there, lol, I can't tell the guy he can't use it!

Quoting morning_glories:

 I have the same issue with the small debit charges. I have tried to do the cash thing and just have him take from the cash bin, but he always forgets and ends up using the debit (if he has it I try to hord it) or worse, the Visa. I compain but he says "I know, I know, I just forget" Ugh, forgetful hubby's, lol. I also don't work in the summer, I am a substitute teacher for now. Hopefully now that I have graduated I will get a real teaching job in the fall to help solve all of our money problems. But I have devoted this summer to figuring out a workable budget.

I should start putting $10 at a time in his wallet. Maybe that will solve the forgetful problem, lol.

We smoke cigarettes, I can quit no problem and be fine all day without one then he comes home and I just crave. Cigarettes are our biggest issue. If I can just get the will power to stay quit maybe he will follow my example and we can save $80 a week. But it is hard. I wish I never started this nasty habit.



Jerichos_Mommy
by Malena on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:27 AM

Maybe you guys can discuss adjusting the mad money each of you gets.  It sounds like you spend less than $30 and he spends more than $30.  Could you reduce yours to $20 and increase his $40 to see if it helps his debit card use?

Jerichos_Mommy
by Malena on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:47 AM

On a side note I recently did some research to try and encourage dh (53) to quit smoking.  I looked at a 250k term life smoker's policy and the same non smoker for him.  I then calculated how much he spends on cigarettes per yer (based on what he pays at the store).  I added that total to the annual difference between the non smoker vs smoker life insurance policy.   I then divided that total by packs of cigarttes per year to calculate his actual cost per pack.


Each pack of cigarettes he buys costs us $56.  It was later pointed out to me that I shuld have also calculated the rate differences for our auto, home owners and the higher cost we will pay for health insurance due to his smoking.    Maybe you could sugest you and your husband doing a similar study together?


SewingMamaLele
by New Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:59 AM

Good lord... Now, I feel like we spend way too much.  I have 100/per week set aside for hubby's spending (NOT including cigs)... and he always goes way over.

He does the same thing... I seriously feel like just taking his debit card.  

QuiltLover
by Jocelynn on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:19 AM

My husband does good, but the one thing that drives me insane is......we pull money out once a week for cash in his pocket.....and when we are out and stop to grab a bite to eat or get something at Walmart, he will be standing at the cash register, turns to me with debit card in hand and says..." Want me to use the debit card?" ....I am not starting

anything at the register and am so aggravated...no, I want you to use the money in your billfold....what is that?    Drives me nuts.

TJandKarasMom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:32 AM
We actually leave the cash in the envelope and take it when we need it. We were each getting the $30 on Fridays, but then he would run out or he would just leave it on the table where I put it out for him. So now I just leave the envelope on the table and we take it when we need it. I would say once a month I take $50ish if I'm taking the kids out to do something, but I mostly leave the rest except the $10 a week for allowance for the kids. So I spend like $90 a month max. Maybe I need to put the extra away and only give him money when he asks, he would probably spend less if he had to ask me for the cash ;)


Quoting Jerichos_Mommy:

Maybe you guys can discuss adjusting the mad money each of you gets.  It sounds like you spend less than $30 and he spends more than $30.  Could you reduce yours to $20 and increase his $40 to see if it helps his debit card use?


TJandKarasMom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:35 AM
Wow that is crazy!

Skoal is my hubby's one and only vice, he does it way less than he used to, he only uses maybe a pack and a half a week, so 6ish a month. At $4/can that's $24 a month. It's a lot cheaper than cigarettes, but I do wonder how much it affects his life ins. He has 2/5 what I have and he pays $8 more a year. I wonder what it really adds up to for him to get the same policy I have, I should look at it.


Quoting Jerichos_Mommy:

On a side note I recently did some research to try and encourage dh (53) to quit smoking.  I looked at a 250k term life smoker's policy and the same non smoker for him.  I then calculated how much he spends on cigarettes per yer (based on what he pays at the store).  I added that total to the annual difference between the non smoker vs smoker life insurance policy.   I then divided that total by packs of cigarttes per year to calculate his actual cost per pack.


Each pack of cigarettes he buys costs us $56.  It was later pointed out to me that I shuld have also calculated the rate differences for our auto, home owners and the higher cost we will pay for health insurance due to his smoking.    Maybe you could sugest you and your husband doing a similar study together?



TJandKarasMom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:39 AM
If we made more, I am sure we would spend more. But between the two of us last year our gross income was just over $30,000. Now I'm not working for the summer or longer (I am hsing our kids this fall and I work in a school, it will be hard to do both so I am looking for something else pt) but DH got a little better paying job. But still, he will make about the same as we made together.

When we both had great jobs and made around $55,000 a year, we spent it all. Our rent was higher, but we also ate out and went to the movies almost every week. We bought the kids stuff all the time, we used a lot of gas. We are more settled now and do spend a lot less, but I am sure if we had the money we would spend it.


Quoting SewingMamaLele:

Good lord... Now, I feel like we spend way too much.  I have 100/per week set aside for hubby's spending (NOT including cigs)... and he always goes way over.

He does the same thing... I seriously feel like just taking his debit card.  


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