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I'm new and I need help

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2014 at 10:07 AM
  • 13 Replies

Hi.  I joined this group a while ago, but have never really used the group until now.  I am in desperate need of help.  My husband has just abandoned us and I only work part-time.  On top of all the emotional upheaval, I am going to have to go through all the finances, bills, etc.  I don't know where to start.  This just happened and so the pain is still so very fresh.  I need help to untangle this mess.  I am not thinking clearly under the circumstances.  I am going to go talk to my sister this morning to fill her in and to try to get emotional support.  Same thing this afternoon--I will have to tell my parents the news.   I feel sick inside.

I need advice on the practical matters of the bills, etc.  How am I gonna manage all the bills?  Any advice?

by on Jan. 28, 2014 at 10:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
baconbits
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 10:30 AM

 You first have to know what your bills are before you can decide anything. Pull them all out and write down total owed, when and monthly payment. That will give you a figure to start with. Then you start looking at what you can cut. Do you have a land line & cell phone? Can you cut one? I'm not a big fan of there not being a phone in the home that the kids can use if moms not there so for us it's pretty important to have both but we were able to cut back on our cell plan. Does he still work and just not living with you? If so you can file in court to get child support right away. Cut back to the bare basics. I know many people will recommend selling anything you don't need but be sure to take a second look at it before you do. If you're used to going to the movies once a week you may decide to stay home instead and play games with your kids so those games you were thinking of selling are actually saving you money. Same with bikes (if it ever warms up)

Talk to your boss and see if you can pick up more hours or get a second job. Tag team with another mom on the babysitting. Do babysitting during the 9-6 night shift. It's easy. Kids get dropped off at your house and sleep while their parents work then get picked up in the morning.

 

zboys
by Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 1:58 PM

I'm thinking of picking up more hours now that my feet are doing better.  I couldn't even walk there for awhile.  My kids are 18 and older.

Quoting baconbits:

 You first have to know what your bills are before you can decide anything. Pull them all out and write down total owed, when and monthly payment. That will give you a figure to start with. Then you start looking at what you can cut. Do you have a land line & cell phone? Can you cut one? I'm not a big fan of there not being a phone in the home that the kids can use if moms not there so for us it's pretty important to have both but we were able to cut back on our cell plan. Does he still work and just not living with you? If so you can file in court to get child support right away. Cut back to the bare basics. I know many people will recommend selling anything you don't need but be sure to take a second look at it before you do. If you're used to going to the movies once a week you may decide to stay home instead and play games with your kids so those games you were thinking of selling are actually saving you money. Same with bikes (if it ever warms up)

Talk to your boss and see if you can pick up more hours or get a second job. Tag team with another mom on the babysitting. Do babysitting during the 9-6 night shift. It's easy. Kids get dropped off at your house and sleep while their parents work then get picked up in the morning.

 


maggie268
by Member on Jan. 29, 2014 at 12:07 PM
2 moms liked this

So sorry that you are going through this & I know exactly what you are feeling & going through as it happened to me back in Sept of 2010.  I think back and just remember it as being a very dark season of my life.  BUT, I promise, it will get better.  You have to be strong, take charge of your life and your finances.  What I did, was look at all my bills and needs (my baby was 2 yrs old.) and cut back/cancel anything not a need.  After a few months, I was able to talk about it with my employer and I was offered a second position (working it on overtime only) it was a true blessing.  My son and I live a very comfrotable/blessed life now & now I see that as a blessing in disguise.  I know how you are feeling and I am here for you if you ever need to talk... you are in my prayers.

babygirl60428
by New Member on Jan. 29, 2014 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes first put all your bills in order and then set up a buget for how much yo spend saving 20 dollars each

payday...  i tell you honey it works if you prioritize your money resonsibly...

babygirl60428
by New Member on Jan. 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM

I am willing to help you get organied if you want to be frinds...

cwahtomy
by New Member on Jan. 29, 2014 at 10:25 PM
Getting prioritized will be hard right now, but it is a must. Like pp's have said, get all the bills together and see how,much everything amounts to. Picking up extra hours will be a major plus if you can do that. Do any of your kids still live at home and work? I know it's not ideal, but have them chip in to help cover costs if they do. Good luck.
aneela
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this

the ladies have already offered some great tips and advice...

you are also doing good by seeking support and help

very sorry about what has happened and is happening but keep your head up and we are here too to talk and you can vent if you need at any time.

not sure if you use coupons already when shopping...but if not then try to start doing that

not sure also if you qualify or would want to use any state assistance but you can look into it...food stamps, medical coverage etc...

best wishes *hugs*


Come check out  Serious Coupon Swappers for swapping, friendship and chat.
http://www.cafemom.com/group/seriouscouponswappers

zboys
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 8:04 PM

Thanks for all the support from you ladies.  I truly appreciate it.  Last Tuesday (which was the day I originally posted this) I shared with my sister what was going on.  Then in the afternoon I told my parents.  Both parties said they will help out any way they can.  My mom is helping me untangle the tax preparation part of this whole mess.  I do feel a measure of relief since I first posted this.

Momsalawyer
by New Member on Feb. 4, 2014 at 11:05 PM

I am a family law attorney.  Saw this in one of the replies but I want to emphasize it.  Go to the courthouse and get the papers for support right now.  If he's working, he will be made to pay at least temporary support and, in my state (California) he can be ordered to pay your attorney.  Good luck.

zboys
by Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:27 AM

I just saw the tax guy today and he pretty much said the same thing as you. 

Quoting Momsalawyer:

I am a family law attorney.  Saw this in one of the replies but I want to emphasize it.  Go to the courthouse and get the papers for support right now.  If he's working, he will be made to pay at least temporary support and, in my state (California) he can be ordered to pay your attorney.  Good luck.


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