Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

Do you think harvesting sperm is ethical?

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:02 PM
  • 9 Replies

What are your thoughts on this?

Mom Harvested Dead Son’s Sperm to Make Grandchild

Posted by Lindsay Mannering
on Jul 5, 2011
hospital bed

I think it's normal for my parents to want a grandchild. A hint every now and then from my mom about how she'd like to have a baby in the family again has been standard operating procedure since I've hit the later 20s. What's not normal, however, is how badly Marissa Evans wants a grand-baby. She went a little too far. She harvested her dead son's sperm.

Marissa was devastated in 2009 when her 21-year-old son Nikolas sustained a life-threatening brain injury during a fight outside an Austin, Texas bar. He was on life-support for five days before Marissa, 44, had to make the terrifying decision to pull the plug. But before she did so, she was allowed to collect some of Nikolas' sperm. And so the weird science continues.

Marissa just wanted to fulfill her dream of becoming a grandmother, she says, and also claims she's making Nikolas' dream come true, too -- he's always wanted to be a dad. Marissa told The Sun: "The weekend before he died we were talking about what a great dad he would be. And we were saying I'd be a good grandma too. Then just a week later all that suddenly changed."

It changed when the judge ruled it was OK for doctors to take some of Nikolas' sperm so Marissa could impregnate a surrogate with her grandchild. She found a woman willing to be a part of this science fiction story at a Mexican clinic -- she's paying $29,000 for several attempts at pregnancy. Marissa has hand-picked the egg donor.

To me, this is wrong. I understand Marissa is in grief, but I don't think that making a baby that won't know its father or mother and will be raised only by its grandmother (Marissa is divorced and her ex-husband is against this) is a good idea. I would only think this is OK if Nikolas had signed a legal document saying he was cool with his mom taking his sperm and implanting it in a stranger. Other than that, I think this is close to grave robbing. Would we think it was acceptable if Marissa went into Nikolas' house and stole his TV? She's taking his gift of life and she's manipulating it for her benefit.

I think, like the ex-husband, that she's blinded by grief and trying to replace her son. I just hope someone stops her, and helps her heal, before it's too late. So far, there's been no report that her grandchild has been born or conceived.

Do you think a mother should be able to harvest her dead son's sperm, or no?

by on Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:02 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
Peanutx3
by on Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:17 PM

So many ethical questions about this.  I don't like the idea of it being banned but I do worry about the resulting kid.  Will the grandma raise the child as her grandchild or as the replacement son?  I am on the fence.

Charli627
by on Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:19 PM


Quoting Peanutx3:

So many ethical questions about this.  I don't like the idea of it being banned but I do worry about the resulting kid.  Will the grandma raise the child as her grandchild or as the replacement son?  I am on the fence.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aneela
by on Jul. 5, 2011 at 3:58 PM

ugh this is something on a case by case basis but generally id say NO dont

LivinDeadGurl
by Maranda on Jul. 5, 2011 at 5:06 PM


Quoting Peanutx3:

So many ethical questions about this.  I don't like the idea of it being banned but I do worry about the resulting kid.  Will the grandma raise the child as her grandchild or as the replacement son?  I am on the fence.

My thoughts exactly.

lenoxclan
by on Jul. 5, 2011 at 7:48 PM

I agree with peanutx3.. I think "grandma" should at least have to take mandatory therapy to ensure that she acknowledges this future child as her grandchild NOT a replacement child..

Liansmommie
by on Jul. 6, 2011 at 3:17 PM

I have to agree

Quoting Peanutx3:

So many ethical questions about this.  I don't like the idea of it being banned but I do worry about the resulting kid.  Will the grandma raise the child as her grandchild or as the replacement son?  I am on the fence.


Meet me at  The Park Bench!

Are your kids having fun this summer? Mine is!!

lovinangels
by on Jul. 6, 2011 at 3:19 PM

Nope, it's beyond creepy.

usmclife58
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 1:07 PM


Quoting lovinangels:

Nope, it's beyond creepy.



4kidz916
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 1:31 PM

I'm not sure about ethical, but this case seems a little strange.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)