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Are your kids having fun this summer? Mine is!!
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You child throws up, and you catch it.
You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
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