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Are your kids having fun this summer? Mine is!!
PURSE: A handbag in which Mom carries the checkbook and keys she can never find because they’re buried under tissues, gum wrappers, a plastic container full of cereal, toys from a fast-food restaurant, a teddy bear, a football, wallpaper samples, a grocery list and several outdated coupons.
QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
RAINCOAT: Article of clothing Mom bought to keep a child dry and warm, rendered ineffective because it’s in the bottom of a locker stuffed in a book bag or because the child refuses to wear “the geeky thing.”
REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.
SCREAMING: Home P.A. system.
SNOWSUITS: Warm, padded outer garments that, when completely zipped and snapped performs two important functions: Protecting children from the cold and reminding them that they have to go to the bathroom.
SOAP: A cleaning agent Mom puts on the sink on the off-chance one of her kids will accidentally grab it while reaching for the towel.
SPIT: All-purpose cleaning fluid especially good on kids’ faces.
SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.
TERRIBLE TWO’S: Having both kids at home all summer.
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