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Am I being selfish? Update #2!

Posted by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:09 PM
  • 17 Replies

 Am I being selfish for wanting to quit my job and become a SAHM? I've always wanted to be at home with my kids and now I am really starting to hate work. Since both my DH and I work we have to pay for child care for 4 out of 5 kids. Most of my paycheck goes to that but we still have extra money. Would it be selfish to taking away that extra money so I can be home with my youngest on the days he doesn't have school and to be there before and after school for the kids? If I do quit my job money will be tight but I'm sure we will be able to pay the bills and buy the things our kids need. We just won't have the extra money to do anything else. What would you do? Am I being selfish?


So I talked to my DH about wanting to quit my job so I can stay home for the kids. He understands why I want to be home with the kids and agrees it would be best for them. He is a little worried about the money situation. Right now we can pay the bills, buy food and barely pay for the kids' sports, but he is worried about the what ifs (car breaks down ect). We compromised and decided to talk to my boss to see if I can work from home. That way I can still be there for the kids and we will still have that extra money. So hopefully my boss will be ok with it, she has left a coworker work from home this summer so she could be with her kids, so I don't think there will be a problem. If I'm not able to, we will have to talk it over again.

Update #2-

I talked to my boss this morning and starting monday I will be working from home! I'm so glad this all worked out! Thanks for your input and support!

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:09 PM
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by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:19 PM

First I would ask myself if there was an unexpected expense (car problem or something) if you could afford to take care of it. I'm all for staying home if working just pays for child care and the gas you use to get and forth from both. But if it actually had an impact on the household if you didn't work you may want to think about it and talk it over with your dh.

I do not however think it is selfish to want to take care of your children yourself.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:54 PM

 It is a hard and serious choice to make (which I am sure you know!) The only reason I quit working is because my youngest was born and had serious health complications. Our lifestyle dramatically changed after I quit my job. We really have to weigh what we can afford vs what we want.

And I would say that if your husband is not in complete agreement with your choice to quit working, you should stick it out.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:07 PM
Google "stay at home calculator." It'll have you input information about all if your bills and income and spending habits then tell you if you can financially handle being a one working parent family. It's how we decided we actually could afford it. Good luck!
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by Michelle on Sep. 15, 2011 at 7:37 PM

I don't think it's selfish. If you think financially your family will be ok then do it. You can always go back to work if need be. I Love being a SAHM.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 7:44 PM

No its not selfish.I say go for it.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:24 PM

Bump for update!

by Michelle on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:27 PM

good luck then :)

by Sarah on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:48 PM
If your boss says no to your idea... Maybe you could compromise and work less days a week? Or adjust your hours to where you wouldn't have to worry about paying child care?
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by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 12:03 AM

I don't think it's selfish at all.  I think it's better for kids, especially younger ones.  If your boss says you can work from home that would be great!  Best wishes on that!  I love being at home, but I have to say that sometimes I do feel guilty about not bringing in as much money as I used to.  I have a home based direct sales business, and I absolutely love it, and hubby is very supportive, and doesn't mind that I'm at home.  He's a work-a-holic anyway, so he'd always be working no matter how much or how little money we're bringing in.  I think it's a blessing to be able to stay home these days.  I sure wish you the best of luck and hope your decision is a good one!  I'm sure you'll do whatever is best for your family.  HUGS!

by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 12:54 AM

It's hard to see how nurturing your family could be considered selfish...

However, as a long-time SAHM on a limited budget, I will say that you are likely in for a surprise: it's possible to stay home and save a lot more money than you'd think... you may even have more extra cash at the end of the month.

You'd be amazed how much money you'll save with really simple things: making your own coffee and muffins; being able to line-dry clothing; cooking dry beans instead of buying canned; making longer-prep foods (like bread) that are so very much cheaper to make than buy, etc.

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