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crazy hovering mom

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Does the crazy hovering mom act ever let up? Or at least get easier?
DS made friends with our neighbors little boy today. He has always been so shy and hesitant to play with other kids unless he's in a social setting. Even then he's shy. But, he walked right up to this kid and started a conversation. Yay! I guess at least he is learning something valuable in kindergarten.
Anyways, the neighbor kid is in 1st grade and his Dad just has left him outside for hours today without even checking in on him. I have been out there about a zillion times. Keep checking out the window. And was sitting out there a good hour. I feel like I'm hovering almost to much.

Where do you find a good balance for playing and supervision?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:12 PM
Replies (21-23):
jltplk25
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 4:08 PM

How sad! I couldn't image allowing my kids out of my sight or thinking that they interfered with my 'real life'. Then again after I lost my second pregnancy then became pregnant with Lexi I was so terrified of losing Landon that I'd come thisclose to having a panic attack the second he left my sight. I was placed on medication the day she was born, it got so bad.


 

Quoting LindaClement:

In the base housing near here, it used to be common to see kids in diapers in the playgrounds alone.

I think there are a lot of parents who are convinced that kids are 'fine' as long as they're far away from parents' and not interfering with real life.

Quoting jltplk25:

Oh Im sure I've never seen how bad it can be. Lol. The only time I ever saw parents with kids was when DH was stationed at Irwin. I'd take Landon to playgroup on post since I didn't know anyone at the time. If a kid was old enough to walk/talk, there wasn't a parent hovering over but rather they were in a corner gossiping. I stayed with Landon but just to where he could see me...I wanted him to learn to go off on his own without my saying, "Go, kid go!"

Quoting LindaClement:

Oh, you've never seen how bad it can be.

I've watched parents 'workshopping' every single interaction and response their child has to the whole world, directing their play, and managing the entire environment every waking minute of the child's day. OCD is possible in parenting, too!

I used to call what I did distracted supervision: there, listening and watching, well aware of what was going on, but doing my own thing close by, not interacting (much, if at all, most of the time)... I believe it solved a LOT of problems long before they got out of hand.

Quoting jltplk25:

If my kids are outside then so am I. Like Linda said, it only takes a minute. To me, being outside doesn't make you a helicopter mom but when you jump in the middle of every single squabble.

 

 

 


 
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armywife1229
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 7:58 PM
The only time I don't have an eye on my kids are when they're sleeping.
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miraclesx2
by on Sep. 26, 2011 at 12:37 PM

With my kids it started off I was available, being in the same room or in the next room loading the dishwasher, putting clothes away, making meals. Let me just say that all changed in a blink of an eye one day. My son was short of a week of turning of 4, and my daughter had just barely turned one. I was watching my neighbors boy  who was same age as my son. We had a good day we played outside all day, we came in so I could make supper. I can still remember this day like it was yesterday.  I was making mac and cheese and hotdogs for the kids for supper, dh was on the computer, my daughter was hanging on my pants crying cause she was tired. My son and the kid were playing in the other room quietly. We all ate supper together and this kids mom was late picking him up and he started acting weird with my boy, hanging on him and trying to kiss him and just like a diff. kid. After his picked him up I put my daughter to bed and my son a bath at this time my son son said mommy y did he bite my weewee, I said what, he said (my son talked very clear) that the other kid was sucking on his weewee like a sucker and he bit it. I was horrified. I explained to him that was so wrong and he shold never have even touched him there, he said no he didn't touch me there he touched me here (hand on rectum) he put his mouth here.. I was livid. I finished his bath, got him in jammies and put him to bed. At that point he said mommy it was just a game,  I said a game he said yeah he called it playing dead, so I explained to him what he did was wrong and never will happen again.. I told  my dh and he was no help. The next day after dropping him off at preschool I went and reported it to the sheriff.  That did nothing either, nothing came out of it. For the next two years my kid couldn't go outside without being harrassed by his mother, she would yell and say hey (my sons name) wanna play dead and just stupid crap like that. She didn't care if we were right there and we were, we reported it and as long as she was on her property nothing could be done. We owned and she rented. After years of counseling for our son we did what we didn't want to do, we told people in our neighborhood about what happened and the counselor called the school and talked with the principle there since the two boys were to start school. they ended up moving about 11 miles away from here, but not out of our lives they moved across from my sister so we didn't go to her house since. So my kids are not unattended playing anymore and my son is now 8 and my daughter is 5. So it isn't just adults you have to be fear we learned the hard way. 

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