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Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

Step mom to be?

Posted by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 3:28 PM
  • 5 Replies

I have 2 grown kids, 21 yr old at home & 18 yr old moved out/ both in college. My boyfriend and I want to take the next step in our relationship. He has 100 % custody of a strong willed 12 yr old daughter and an 18yr old son in college.  I need any and all advise on step parenting his kids and putting my kids at ease that they haven't been replaced by a new family. His ex wife is very unstable and intermittently involved. The kids have lots of issues with her. Daughter is desperate for female attention and resentful that it isn't from mom. HELP!!!!!

by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 3:28 PM
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Replies (1-5):
jltplk25
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 4:03 PM

As a stepdaughter, I say be upfront and honest...tell your children of your intentions. They should know already that they're not being replaced but it's hard even at that age to wrap your mind around the addition of family members. (My parents divorced when I was 20, my dad remarried two months after their divorce was finalized) Let your soon to be step-daughter/son of your intentions as well and that while you're not taking their bio mom's place as their mom, you're there if they need you.

As a parent, I say just back up your boyfriend whenever he disciplines the kids. Dr. Phil, although he can be a quack sometimes, has touched on the subject before. Can't remember what he said but Im sure if you google him and step parenting it'll bring something up.

Good luck!

Andeigh
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 5:28 PM

Since she's older, just don't try to be her mother.. That's about the only advice I have for you.  

armywife1229
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 7:55 PM
I have no idea, but I would try to raise her as you did your biological children.
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mrsnoble2004
by ♥Arlene♥ on Sep. 16, 2011 at 8:06 PM

patience patience and more patience

goddess99
by Michelle on Sep. 16, 2011 at 9:28 PM

love his kids as much as you love him.. You'll never be #1. his kids will always love mom and dad more than you. and his kids will always come before you. If you can handle those things then more power to you and good luck. And I don't mean any of this in a mean or rude way. It's just what I've seen and experienced myself.

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