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if you could change one thing about your parenting style...

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Even if it was hard to do, what would you change if you really wanted to become a better mom?

 

by on Sep. 20, 2011 at 1:31 PM
Replies (11-18):
cocoa132
by Member on Sep. 20, 2011 at 2:59 PM

Be more patient.

splatz
by Sarah on Sep. 20, 2011 at 3:01 PM
I'm working on not raising my voice anymore. I don't do it often, but when I do I feel like the worst mom ever.
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splatz
by Sarah on Sep. 20, 2011 at 3:03 PM
I love the first quote! I'm going to have to check out that book.

Quoting LindaClement:

It's the title of a book, by Alfie Kohn.

It is about why children are not here for parents to control, and why the goal of 'controlling kids' is not only misguided, but impossible. It is, like everything else he writes, supported by about 20 pages of research references, and very intelligently argued.

His main point is that children require little more than unconditional love, and that anything that damages a child's connection to her parents will create a whole lot more problems than whatever ...spanking, threatening, bribery, withdrawl of affection... was designed to control.

He makes a couple of quick remarks that I particularly love:

'If you expected childrearing to be convenient, you should have bought a goldfish.'

and

'Sure, time outs are better than spankings, but spankings are better than shootings... how is that an argument in favour of spanking?'


Quoting fourkidssoon:

what does unconditioning parenting mean?




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USAFamily
by on Sep. 20, 2011 at 3:29 PM

 What I am working on currently - discipline/ cause and effect.

toomanypoodles
by on Sep. 21, 2011 at 4:02 AM

 I think I'm a good mom,  what we do works.  Mine are teens and they can be difficult while spreading their wings and learning to be independent, but I reel them in and keep a pretty close eye on them.  We're a close-knit family. 

LivinDeadGurl
by Maranda on Sep. 21, 2011 at 9:36 AM

Patience - I have more than I give myself credit for, but not nearly enough.

miraclesx2
by on Sep. 26, 2011 at 12:00 PM

Patience

LovelyLauren55
by on Sep. 26, 2011 at 12:55 PM

Patience for sure

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