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Stepdaughter went out again last night

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2011 at 9:03 AM
  • 10 Replies

I try to be considerate to my husband, when my son comes home on the weekend and wants to have friends over I always asks if he minds.  On the other hand, with all the problems my stepdaughter has caused here lately we don't even speak her name hardly but, she still does what ever she wants to because him and her mother feels she doesn't have to take responsibility of any of her actions no matter what lies she speaks or who she hurts.  You know It wasnt to long ago that she told me and her dad that her mother threw a remote at her, grabbed her by the arm and actually left a bruise, threw her on the bed and had the nerve to throw her own daughter out of the house at 16 years old.  Come to find out that was a lie also, but I can just about bet her mother doesn't know.

Last night I found out that "sky" was going to K I with her friends and they were coming back here for the night.

I don't know about any one else.  But if you were told by your Stepdaughter that she doesn't like you and does not respect you and yet expects to come into your house and bring friends over to eat the food you prepare, and make a mess that she expects you to clean up.  Wouldn't you be a little more than ticked at your husband.

I don't appreciate being treated like an option, to someone who isn't held accountable for any of her actions.

verytired of it all


 

by on Oct. 9, 2011 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 9, 2011 at 2:10 PM

I would be beyond tired of that crap as well. I would be talking to my dh and setting some ground rules. Good luck, I hope he steps up and makes some changes.

verytired16
by on Oct. 10, 2011 at 7:37 AM

We have "the talk" before, so many times, and nothing changes.  It just amazes me that a 16 year is allowed to talk to adults - not just to me, but to her mother, father, grandmother and my two sons also. And is never held accountable for anything she says no matter what lies or how hurtful she is.  and when she is over what ever problem she had then everyone else is just suppose to let it go also.  I can promise you that if my sons were to talk to me, my husband or for that fact anyone at 16 would never fly- but they have just never done that, and even when the boys and I would have differences and would even raise their voice to me my husband would be right on top of them saying" I don't think so" but yet his daughter is allowed to get right in face and treat me like I'm the child.  I have never gotten in mine or his kids face like has mine many times.  I have never disciplined her for that fact that should be up to her dad.  for some reason it just isn't getting any better. I hate it but I'm thinking that his ex-wife and daughter has just about kicked me out of the house.  I'm sorry, I am just venting- it has been so long since I've had a good nights sleep.  I keep hoping that one day "sky" will come over and apologize for the problems she has caused, i think everyone knows that won't happen.   

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM
She faces a cruel reality check when she gets out into the real world.
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Rainbow_Brite86
by on Oct. 10, 2011 at 9:17 AM


Quoting goddess99:

I would be beyond tired of that crap as well. I would be talking to my dh and setting some ground rules. Good luck, I hope he steps up and makes some changes.


annas_momma
by on Oct. 10, 2011 at 9:24 AM

 i would put my foot down, make some rules, and make her follow them.  i don't see why you can't ground her to the house or send her to her room, maybe take her things.  it's your house too, and you are an adult.  if he isn't going to make her listen and act like a young lady, maybe it's time that you do.  step daughter or not, she is in your house treating you like crap.  quit letting her get away with it.  if you let her get away with talking to you like that, then you are just as much to blame as the rest of them for letting her get away with it.

goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 10, 2011 at 9:27 AM

Well since you already seem to be sick and tired of the whole dynamic then maybe you should just be the one to stand up and say to her that she is not allowed or welcome in your home until she can show some respect. And then see what happens. Because something is going to happen. 

mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2011 at 11:44 AM

Pretty much exactly what I was gonna say.

Quoting annas_momma:

 i would put my foot down, make some rules, and make her follow them.  i don't see why you can't ground her to the house or send her to her room, maybe take her things.  it's your house too, and you are an adult.  if he isn't going to make her listen and act like a young lady, maybe it's time that you do.  step daughter or not, she is in your house treating you like crap.  quit letting her get away with it.  if you let her get away with talking to you like that, then you are just as much to blame as the rest of them for letting her get away with it.


Pammi86
by Pamela on Oct. 10, 2011 at 12:57 PM
You need to have a talk with your husband, then her. He needs to realize he may be the primary parent but you are married and this will affect your marriage in negative ways. If he doesn't agree to make her change then you really need to consider what you can deal with. Its a shame you have to be disrespected by someone you help support! Sounds like she needs a reality check!
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verytired16
by on Oct. 10, 2011 at 1:42 PM

You are so right about me having to take the blame for her talking to me like that.  But believe me, I do not put up with it - as far as grounding her- that doesn't work, she ends up leaving and going to her mom's house the same way she leaves her mom's house and comes back here when she is mad. 

The difference is when "sky" is mad or doesn't get her way here we are wrong according to her mother. When she is mad or doesn't get her way with whatever at her mom's she comes here and her mother says its "sky" is to blame.  "sky " will stay a week or so then go back to her mom's house after she has told us so much crap, that I know are lies-because I have recorded it to be sure- but she does not know that. I might be wrong about that but I had to be sure they were lies.  So I can only Imagine what she tells her mother. 

for one day I wish her mother would fill my shoes as me so she could see just how wrong her daughter is.  I can't imagine what shee would do.

cali_lili
by on Oct. 10, 2011 at 8:01 PM

I can only imagine=(  Sounds like this girl needs some boundaries and solidarity between all her parents!  Is your husband the type of man that would consider a parenting class with you?  If you like to read, I HIGHLY (like, cannot highly enough) recommend the book, The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers, by Dr. Gary Chapman.  So, so, soooo helpful to us in figuring out how we will raise our daughter through her teenage years.  Good luck!

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