The 90-year-old Christian zealot was admittedly disappointed when the rapture didn't happen in May, but he insists that this time around he's got it right. But excuse me -- where were my billboard warnings these last few months? How was I supposed to know about this?
It's true. I haven't been repenting nor have I taken these last five months to fatten myself up like a pig before slaughter. If the world's gonna end, I would've liked to enjoy a few pounds of guacamole every night. Is that so wrong?
May's rapture got a lot of attention -- here in NYC there were some nut jobs in Times Square who were all prepared to be saved. Let's just say May 22 was pret-ty awkward. Seems like Camping's lost his touch though -- this October rapture has had zero hype. No billboards, no news coverage, no nothing. In some ways, it's almost a little sad.
Camping, 90, suffered a stroke in June and has been recovering in a nursing home ever since. The recordings on his Family Radio website sound labored, slurry, and not unlike someone whose own, personal, end of days is near.
But if Camping had it his way, he and all the other God-elected saints will be sucked up into heaven next week anyway, so what does he care. I guess it kind of makes sense that God would want to save all the good people and damn all the sinners right before pagan and evil Halloween rolls around.
But guys? If the rapture does happen on October 21, can we jerks who are left to battle it out on Earth still go trick-or-treating? But just to be safe, might as well dip into the Halloween candy stash now. You never know.
What do you think about the end of days prediction?